Neighbour kicked my door down/broke in

[Sparklfairy]

AIBU to expect the police to arrest/remove him...?

I live alone in a flat in a block of 4. I have met this neighbour just once, and introduced myself. A few weeks ago he knocked on my door, not threateningly, but persistently - consistent knocking for 3-4 minutes... at 1.30am. I was awake as I WFH but nights, and just ignored it.

He went away, and there's been nothing since. Until yesterday at 6-something in the morning. Again, I was working but the flat was in total silence. No tv or any noise that would disturb him, I was literally just sitting on my bed.

Suddenly I heard a bang and froze. I was confused and didn't know what it was and was trying to work out where it was coming from. 3 or 4 further bangs and my front door burst open and he was stood there, swaying, glassy eyed.

I screamed. It's a studio, tiny flat, like one of those micro flats that you see advertised but yes, this is my life and I had no escape, no room to hide in, not even a bathroom with a lock on the door (as there is no lock, and the bathroom is opposite the front door).

I screamed at him, he said I was 'in' his head, fucking with his head (when I've done absolutely nothing), and when he tried to step towards me I screamed again and he suddenly 'clicked', became lucid and said ok and left. I was shaking.

My other neighbour (upstairs, but next door to him), texted me saying he heard screaming, and let me take refuge in his flat. Before I did, I obviously called 999. The police seemed non committal, that someone would come out at some point. 36 hours later I've had no visit.

But here is the kicker. When hiding in my neighbours flat, my friend/neighbour had the bright idea of just knocking on his door and talking to crazy tenant. He has recorded the conversation where crazy tenant admits I did nothing wrong but I just 'remind him' of someone and that's why he broke my door down

I rang 101 with the crime ref to update. The lady was so helpful and checked with her supervisor as she was astonished no one had come out to me yet. She reassured me that someone would attend and it had been miscategorised/recategorised now.

It's now nearly 9pm on Sunday and STILL nothing. I can't go home. The lock has been 'fixed' but obviously Crazy Tenant has proven that he can break it whenever he likes. I live alone. I have stressed every single detail which should have escalated this, but nothing is being done. I have chased with the letting agent but basically they're saying I have to wait until Monday for any action to be done. And even then, they were non committal as to WHAT would happen.

So I'm stuck, and cannot go home, and my rent is due today. I have no idea what to do.

’im staying at the holiday inn. However I’m really tired and need to sleep as I haven’t slept in 36 hours. I would prefer to come to the station at 11:30 tomorrow to make my statement rather than wait for someone to attend here tonight’

I'm getting a strong feeling that that's not quite how the conversation went.

It’s quite possible that with all if his violence the guy left forensic evidence in your flat

Oh I do apologise. Considering they rang at 10pm (which I clearly stated) and then I made an appointment for 11am the next day... Logic would say that one would hope to sleep in between.

But no. Keyboard warriors decide to get on my case and imply I'm being difficult. Okay.

Given what the OP said about the police seeming to assume that this was some kind of neighbourly dispute where "both sides" were at fault, my impression was that she's lost all trust in the police and fears that they might be stupid enough to let slip her location.

Thank you. It's actually quite distressing that people don't get that at all.

I just think you're being deliberately difficult now, both with the police and the posters on this thread.

They rang at 10pm, which was nearly 2 hours ago. For all you know, they may have been able to come before midnight.

Anyway, hope you get it all sorted out tomorrow.

I was a bit hmmm at first with not telling the police where you are but actually, you've paid for this privilege of safety and we know the police are utterly shit in these instances so if they don't know, they can't accidentally tell anyone. It can definitely wait for tomorrow if all they are doing is asking questions.

I would be really keen to ask them not to turn up at your flat in order to not antagonise him. That's too much of a risk. I would be worried he's not in there now.

I cannot believe this has happened and the police and letting agent are so relaxed about it. I've had dealings recently with the police and mental health of a person and they take a very low touch approach. I can see how the recent examples in the news have happened with little intervention. This needs to change.

I'm so sorry this is happening and I can't imagine how terrifying it would have been plus the what ifs for escalation. I'd soggest he has done this before and I do not like how nonchalant he is about his own actions.

Yes, I must admit that was my first impression too.

Turns out it was wrong though.

I'm so very sorry that you're in this situation.

I've discovered that police can be surprisingly stupid. For various reasons, I'm afraid that I've lost faith in them. (Police Scotland, in my case.)

I used to work for the police, the 'normal' procedure in a case once you call them up stating a crazy neighbour just broke your door, they should show up (fast, because this is an emergency as your life is in danger), take your details, a statement then go to your neighbour and "have a few words with him", I'm not sure if this is grounds for arrest, but there has been some property destroyed?, once you're given a case number you go back to the police station with said recording to let them know you're dealing with a total nutcase, they should be escalating it and if not legal grounds for arrest or harassment a second visit with a warning should be mandatory.

OP it’s because you’ve written that you were frustrated with their non attendance but have now written that it’s good they didn’t attend because it would’ve antagonised him. You’ve also written that you were frustrated with their lack of contact but then have been uncooperative when they did contact. And also that you KNOW they wouldn’t have done anything, but yet you called them anyway?

I truly sympathise with what sounds like a terrifying experience but I really think you need to have a proper think about what you want the outcome to be, because at the moment it sounds like nothing is going to be good enough for you which will just lead to a drawn out non resolve which will only harm you.

You seem to have trouble with critical thinking.

I rang 999 when it happened. They didn't come out.

6 hours later they rang and said it might be today (Saturday) or tomorrow (Sunday). They still haven't come out.

At 10pm they called and I said I wasn't there. They wanted my location. But they have never, ever, committed a time until I made them, via making an appointment.

If you seriously, genuinely, think that they would have turned up as soon as I hung up the phone to my hotel, or indeed in the two hours since, you haven't been reading properly.

Oh I've been reading properly, and there's still a small chance they may have, or you could've given them a maximum time you were willing to wait up until, considering you're still Mumsnetting 2 hours after the call.

Either way, you're only just telling us now it was because you wanted some much needed sleep.

No idea why you didn't mention this when you were replying to all the other posters a while back, who thought you were being obstructive.

Kent Police were assessed as 'Requiring Improvement' with responding to the public in the latest PEEL assessment.

https://hmicfrs.justiceinspectorates.gov.uk/peel-reports/kent-2023-25/

I think we are seeing that evidenced in this case

It's really strange, and I am sorry that you haven't realised this, but the thought that anyone can literally burst into my flat (or hotel room) at any time, with enough determination... it's kind of affected my ability to sleep.

Every single time I've dealt with the police, they haven't given me a time, it's more, where are you, we'll get to you when we get to you, depending on priority. ok fine, but I'm not hovering all night, especially at we're now 42 hours later and I have had no police response. So you can get to me when you get to me, or I can make an appointment to come to you.

This is helpful. I'll mention this tomorrow. Thank you so much.

I'll add that when I've been in stressful situations - particularly when dealing with the police - it's not always been easy to articulate my feelings. I can quite understand that on top of everything else the OP would want to have some agency instead of being dictated to when the police have already let her down.

You sound frightened to me, @Sparklfairy
And I'm not surprised.
I would be too in your shoes.

Our homes are our haven/safe space, or they're meant to be.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

This is a mentally unwell person breaking down the door of a woman living alone (for no apparent reason), this is someone’s life in danger, should have been treated as an emergency and the cops needed to have shown up right away. I’m not understanding why this was not treated as such, the glassy eyed man (who is either on drugs or having a psychotic episode) could have attacked the OP thinking she’s the ‘devil reincarnated’ and she could be dead by now. The whole thing makes no sense. Sounds like police negligence or maybe the OP was too polite during her initial call and made it sound like some random neighbour dispute (which was absolutely not).

OP, noone is against you on this thread, PP are dreadfully sorry about what's happened. However, perhaps because of your lack of sleep, your posts aren't making complete sense so everyone is trying to draw the dots together to understand.

We now understand that you didn't give the police your location because you're exhausted, it was late when they called and you just want a few hours of sleep knowing that the time you give the statement is decided, and you don't have to stay awake only to go through another no show episode with the police.

I will warn you - I'd be extremely surprised if anything came from this. I expect you'll give your statement, then nothing else will happen. I don't expect he'll be arrested or that the agency will do anything etc. This will all get logged as a statistic, then case closed.

Some of us do. I wouldn't trust them, either. They've utterly failed you.

Sorry to hear all this OP. So worrying :( It got me thinking about my front door and when I was at a hotel this week. The thing in common - a safety chain that I could put on to ensure no intruder can get in. Is this something you could get your landlord to install as an extra safety?

That isn't a warning, but thank you. It's a fact. Nothing will happen.

I do, fortunately, have enough knowledge of the law, contract law, tenancy law, to have him removed or sue the agent.

I don't have any faith in the police now, but really, that's neither here nor there.

If she gets killed I'm sure the police will turn up - but for less serious completed crimes there's not enough police anymore.

I remember the Met police in London releasing a statement that if you get burgled - expect them (the Met police) no never show up. They were making the public aware that the service of turning up once a crime has been completed is now low.

Police are having to act reactively, not proactively.

I have insisted that a mortise lock (thumb lock) is installed to reinforce the door. My old door had this as an addition but the door was replaced and it wasn't reinstated. The locksmith was astonished, and said that he would insist that it's done on Monday. To be fair to him, I checked at b and q, screwfix etc, and only one type was available to collect the same day, so it's not straightforward.

If people were doing their jobs properly and showing willing, I would be more accommodating and friendly about it. The fact is that people are dismissing me as it being not their problem or not that big a deal. I think that if it was them in my situation, they would probably think differently.