@vivainsomnia
I wouldn't say that mine were either necessarily. I've given a long description of some of the things that happened to me, but I wouldn't say that I feel huge trauma about it. I had 48 hours with back to back baby (induced), no pain relief, then EMCS.
I think trauma generally comes from:
- not being listened to or treated as a person
- believing you or baby would die
- long term physical damage
Sadly, I do know a couple of people who are within the third category and who are long term incontinent or have little to no feeling during sex. I think that is a traumatic thing to happen to you in your thirties and hard to prepare for as the "cost" of having a baby. I'd say that my friend, who was repeatedly told she wasn't in advanced labour, was left in a corridor on her own to labour, nearly gave birth on her own and suffered a tear to her anus that meant she was uncomfortable for a year and had continence issues for a few months could probably say it was traumatic.
I think that the conveyor belt nature of an induction and being basically on my own did make me feel a bit like point 1), but mostly I felt like I had a lucky escape and hugely relieved that it wasn't worse.
I don't feel traumatised, but I do think that there were lots of moments in which my care could have become quite unsafe and I think that, had I been under consultant care (was borderline due to past medical history but decided I was low risk overall), there would have been a person actually thinking about my care overall and better decisions would have been made about me as an individual. I actually think I would have had a VB - a family friend who is a senior obstetrician told me that he would have encouraged my baby to turn before he induced if he had seen me either in the NHS or privately, but that most midwives wouldn't attempt it. But after 2 days, I was taken down to the operating theatre to decide if I was having forceps or a c section the consultant said baby was so poorly positioned she would never make it down the birth canal. I think that there is just a bunch of very skilled midwives that used to exist and now the system is really short of them, so the system is very passive and feels very unresponsive to new information.
Ultimately, my decision to have a c section second time wasn't about trauma. The system spent a lot of money on me first time around, far far more than if I had an ELCS from the outset. As I had a large back to back baby last time, my birth plan was that if I went into labour before 40 weeks I would give it a full go for a VBAC but otherwise I would have a section before 41 weeks, as the likelihood of a VB/avoiding an EMCS were less after that point, as baby would be large (and he was, over 9lb at 40 weeks and I have a very small frame).
The thing that irritated me about the system was the failure to look at data properly. One community midwife could not accept as a starting premise that having one big baby was a good predictor of having another one. There are so many studies on it - other than having GD, it is the single biggest predictor. Science is not very well applied in midwifery IME.