To not want to do this?

[HappyAsIAm4now]

First, some background: my relationship ended 3 years ago, not my decision, he hurt me a lot, after which I attended a counsellor, which helped me get over things, although it took a long time. I'm in a good place now, have no interest - at the moment anyway - in dating or getting into a relationship and I'm enjoying single life, am content. I took up a new hobby after breakup and this keeps me busy, along with seeing family and friends.

A friend contacted me to say that a friend of her boyfriend - whom I've never met - is keen to meet someone and they immediately thought of me and would I be interested in meeting this guy sometime but with them also in attendance. Just to say they're friends with my ex also, but we never discuss him.

My gut reaction is no, I don't want to go on this date, I'm happy with my life now, and definitely not on a double date! It's not that I'm stil pining over my ex, I'd never go back there, but I've just no interest at the moment and I don't want to even meet if my heart's not in it. They're a lovely couple and I feel bad saying no. I haven't given an answer yet.

IABU - go on the date, even though I've no interest
IANBU - decline, say I'm happy with my life now, I just don't want to be in a relationship with anyone

You are not ready, it will be fine to decline. Tell them what you have said here.

"Hi Jo, it's kind of you to think of me but I'm not currently looking for any kind of relationship, thanks. Too busy loving the single life!'

Don't feel bad. Don't get strong armed into meeting some friend of theirs you have no interest in.

I think it’s perfectly fine to say you aren’t interested.

being in a relationship is a choice not a need as much as there are lots of people who don’t seem to think that way!

just be sure that it is because you are content and not because you are too scared or have been too hurt to try again with someone new if it’s the second one then maybe getting a bit more therapy to explore that would be helpful.

the bright spot is as least they told you and didn’t just invite you along to socialise in a group to then have it sprung on you!

Contrary to what some people think, a partner is not a prerequisite for a happy life. You can be complete and content and fulfilled without one.

If you are happy, keep doing you until (if ever) you decide you’d like to meet someone.

I completely agree with this sentiment.

as my family member and I say I have a rich inner life I’m quite content in my own company. 😂

thats not to say I’m against relationships either but I don’t NEED a partner.

Why feel bad? You don't want to date and even if you did, wouldn't want an awkward double date. Totally fine. Just tell your friend that.

absolutely!

YANBU to thank for the thought but decline. Do not jeopardise your happiness to go on a date you don't want or need. Make it known you're quite happy 😊

No is a complete sentence. And besides you have no desire/room for a romance so what's the point?!

Yes, it's true also that I don't have a lot of free time, but that's not the main reason.

I've no interest in blind dates, happy as I am too. Tell your friend exactly what you said in your OP and continue to enjoy your single life!

So I told her what I've said here, that even though it's been 3 years, I'm just not interested at the moment. I think she's a bit miffed, said 'it's your decision but I thought you would have given him a chance, 3 years is a long time to still not feel ready'. She's only met this guy once herself anyway, so I'm not sure how she can say we'd be a great match.

Tell Cilla to fuck off.

You have never met this guy, she has met him one time, WTF does she think you owe him a "chance"? If she keeps on just tell her that you have seen her taste in men and it's not for you (while staring at her BF intently). I agree with telling Cilla to fuck off.

Yes, I think she's someone who believes people are always happier in a relationship

She’s wrong in that case! Not sure why everyone assumes you need someone in order to be content.

Not being interested and not being ready are two different things.
'Dear friend, it's not that I'm not ready, but I'm just not interested in a relationship. Very content with my life as it is, for the foreseeable. Thank you for thinking of me, though.'

Listen to your gut, you’re not ready. And she is being pushy.

Yes, my gut feeling is, basically, I just don't want to do this. I'm not saying for definite I'm staying single forever, but I think I've always been happier when not in a relationship.

So I met this friend for dinner with another friend during the week. She thinks I should give this guy a chance, go on the date, what have I got to lose. She has me doubting myself now. Should I give him a chance, even though I'm so happy being single now?

Please don't do this for someone else, you have given her your answer, she should respect that. Not much of a friend if she doesn't.

Why is this person pushing you to meet someone when you don't want to.

Just keep saying No. If you are happy that's all that matters.

Your gut instinct is saying no.
You are busy with life and don't really have time for a relationship.
You are happy as you are and are not interested right now.

Do you really believe this friend has your best interests in mind with pushing you to ignore your own instincts? Do you really want to sit across from this guy making awkward small talk knowing you don't really want to be there, just to get this woman to shut up? Where does it stop, how many chances will she insist on giving this guy, that she has only met one time and you never have? Tell her no and if she brings it up again you will walk out, and actually do it. This "friend" is telling you she believes you are incomplete as you are, and you're not.

Yes, it's really all three. Happy as I am and happy to be single again. It took me a long time to get over my last relationship and I've a busy and fulfilled life right now.

Why the hell do you have to "give him a chance"? You owe him nothing at all. I feel quite angry on your behalf.

Thanks, that makes me feel better. I honestly was beginning to wonder what's wrong with me that I've zero interest in dating again.