To send DS to preschool full time even though I work part time?

[thunderstormsunday]

Because he is doing my bloody head in … obviously that’s sort of a joke but some truth in it.

DS attended a private day nursery close to where I work for three days a week while I worked. Last year, I was on maternity leave for twelve months and he dropped down to two days at nursery and one at a local preschool just before his third birthday, partly to try to make friends he’d be going to school with. Now I am back at work three days a week we’ve kept that going as DH wfh Fridays so can pick up and drop off (the preschool is only 9-3 with no wraparound.)

I don’t work Tuesdays and Wednesdays and DS attends Tuesday morning 9-12 but I am considering sending him for both days. My reason is that to be honest he is wild. He does have so many lovely points but he is just never still, manic, charges around the house (not looking where he’s going so ends up slamming into things) trashes things …

It isn’t like this all the time. It seems to come in waves. We had a bloody awful period from February through to about may, then he calmed down and seemed quite nice and now he’s ramping up again.

The problem is it’s detrimental to our relationship because I feel like I spend all the time telling him off. Don’t do that, leave her alone, get off there, no get down, no I said GET DOWN. It’s so easy to get sucked into a negative cycle.

I used to deal with this by just being out and about all the time (he’s better out of the house) but that’s trickier with two of them and expensive and exhausting.

I feel mean but I am considering at least upping Tuesday to a full session (9-3) and then considering adding Wednesday.

He isn’t a bad child or anything but I do struggle a bit with him; always have if I am honest.

I did wonder!

I would do it, I think most of the school nurseries round here only do set hours a week anyway (either 9-3 5 days a week or 5 mornings or 5 afternoons), it’s good to get them in a routine for school and sounds like it will make your life easier. I totally get where you’re coming from about feeling like your relationship is being damaged by constantly having to go “no, stop that”- my DD was like that at 2/3 too. I think getting them to burn off some energy elsewhere and then having some really focused positive time with them after can really help.

DS goes 5 days a week 9-3 and I work 3 days a week during school hours. He gets the 30 hours now so he goes for all of them. It was useless taking him to toddler groups as all he wanted to do was sit on my lap holding my hand and not joining in. No reason for him not joining in just didn't want to with me there. I'd take him to a NT or a park and after half an hour "mummy my legs are tired" or "I want to go home". At home I'd get toys out but he didn't want to play with me or them etc. I felt bad putting him in this September for five days a whole year before he starts school. His sister at the same age was on 3 days and then I upped her by a day each term so she was up to 5 in the last term.

However he absolutely loves it, gets stuck in at Forest school and I can expand the things he is doing there on our evenings and weekends. His speech, language and counting has come on loads since starting in January. The pre school is attached to the school he will be going to. The reception staff all know who he is already and the TA's switch between the two classes so there will be no transition issues. For him I have no doubt that he will be school ready come September. Every child is different and doesn't work for all but for him it's ideal.

Edit to add- it's also good for my MH because I get to do all of the cleaning, house admin and have time for my self care on the other two days. It means I'm completely present for the children on the evenings and weekends. I'm extremely privileged to have that option.

Thanks. It’s a shame as he is lovely really, he’s just not very good at sitting doing crafts or toys even particularly. It will be interesting to see how and if things change. I know some of my friends have three year olds who will just play in the house all day! Mine doesn’t!

In that case I'd up the half day to a full day and have him home 1 full day a week so you can do trip out in the morning, back home for lunch and nap for youngest, then out again in the afternoon. It's a pain that youngest isn't walking yet but that could change anytime (and will likely do so before the end of the academic year) so you won't need to manage it forever.