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Original poster

Would you report offensive message in a group work chat?

354 replies

ChilliPB · 21/09/2024 23:13

As the title says really. A pretty offensive meme sent as ‘banter’ (not funny and genuinely offensive). It was sent in a group chat - a non-official WhatsApp chat with over 50 people, used for social chat. We have a separate more official group chat for work related stuff.

Options are to pick it up individually with the person (who I don’t know and have never met). Or flag direct to HR. Or flag up to HR but not disclose what was said or who said it and hope they could send a stern but general reminder about behaviour and conduct and the individual wouldn’t actually be identified.

Appreciate its a non-official chat but even so. Really likely to offend some of the members there and also it’s the sort of job where if it came out it would look awful, and I’m worried those that don’t report it could also be in trouble as complicit.

What would you do?!

OP posts:
sillylittlerabbit · 22/09/2024 06:15

Jeez some of you really need EDI training.

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 06:15

The great thing about social media is if you don't like something you can scroll past it and carry on with your day. Or you can go to hr put his job at risk, his mortgage, his family and then when he loses everything and kills himself at least you can feel better about yourself.

Josephinesnapoleon · 22/09/2024 06:19

It depends, the fact you won’t say it indicates it’s either so offensive it would be deleted immediately or you know it’s not, you’re just really up yourself and a complainer, and know if you posted it folks would say what you on about.

daisychain01 · 22/09/2024 06:22

ChilliPB · 21/09/2024 23:24

No not something that was just using an offensive word.

It was Islamophobic and referenced the recent pager explosions in Lebanon.

Show quote history

Indecency is indecency, whether it's a social or professional WhatsApp group. The blurring of the boundaries with technology means whoever made that indecent post, evidenced poor judgement and lack of social intelligence.

the fact is the WA group is there as a consequence of you all knowing each other from work.

the benefit of having HR is to have an escalation point. Please use it to best effect, and if they choose to exercise their disciplinary policy (even if it's a rap on the knuckles to the person) it gives them the clear message they behaved unacceptably.

key thing is not to let that incident go unrecorded or the person unreprimanded. Otherwise it gives a message it's acceptable. The person must have thought they were being clever and funny but clearly the subject matter was not to be joked about or a butt of someone's vile humour.

daisychain01 · 22/09/2024 06:25

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 06:15

The great thing about social media is if you don't like something you can scroll past it and carry on with your day. Or you can go to hr put his job at risk, his mortgage, his family and then when he loses everything and kills himself at least you can feel better about yourself.

He's an adult, he owns his action. If more people thought before they posted shit (whatever it is), social media wouldn't be a cesspit. Talking in terms of his family or him killing himself, well how utterly ridiculous. People need to grow up and be responsible, especially in the workplace.

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 06:26

daisychain01 · 22/09/2024 06:25

He's an adult, he owns his action. If more people thought before they posted shit (whatever it is), social media wouldn't be a cesspit. Talking in terms of his family or him killing himself, well how utterly ridiculous. People need to grow up and be responsible, especially in the workplace.

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He wasn't in the workplace

spuddy4 · 22/09/2024 06:35

Does your workplace recognise WhatsApp as a form of communication or is it just a group that colleagues have set up between themselves? I've seen this happen in my workplace and because the group is not recognised by the company they won't step in due to privacy issues.

In all honesty you are better off calling him out yourself and leaving the group if you don't like the tone of it.

AllHopeandRainbows · 22/09/2024 06:36

I know of a similar situation and if you report one comment just be prepared for the entire chat to be looked at with a fine tooth comb and there may be lots of people sacked.
In the situation I know of, one comment was reported then the whole chat was requested and looked through. There turned out to be more than one “inappropriate” comment or meme/video and then everybody who posted any of them and even those who even just reacted to them (even with just emojis) was complicit and also sacked or given a formal warning.
Some of them were also seen as inappropriate despite being misread and not understood in the correct context by HR.
So you’d have to be very sure you have always been squeaky clean in this chat.

Zanatdy · 22/09/2024 06:40

I’d report it to my manager and let them take it forward. I guess if feeling generous you could message the person and say you were offended by their message and expect others were too, and any repeats will be reported.

Zanatdy · 22/09/2024 06:41

was it to do with exploding phones?

SilverGlitterBaubles · 22/09/2024 06:41

Work Group chats are a minefield. A smaller group with people you know very well personally is probably ok but otherwise they should be avoided at all costs. In a group of 50 odds are you will get someone posting something offensive or arguments about work or politics that are not appropriate. You can be seen as party to this just by being in the group regardless. In this instance OP, I suggest you leave the group and report to HR that said group exists and that some advice and guidance should be provided.

Needleprick · 22/09/2024 06:48

imverynosey · 22/09/2024 04:19

So you're a grass? And want to potentially get someone fired? Unless it's to do with peadophiles or something else of the like I'd just stop being such a busy body

So being racist is ok, publishing hate speech online is ok, breaking the employers SM code is ok, insulting minority ethnic colleagues is ok…

as long as you aren’t ‘a grass’?

Skate76 · 22/09/2024 06:49

It may be a social chat not linked to work as such but that doesn't mean they can't do something about it. I'd definitely report to HR.

MyUmberSeal · 22/09/2024 06:53

Loads of people send and receive memes on WhatsApp every day to do with all world events and themes. It’s not up to you to police what other people’s boundaries are. If you don’t like what you saw, leave the group.

Perimenopausalpenny · 22/09/2024 06:53

I'd call them out just like you should in everyday life (easier said than done). If you're thinking it, someone else is. No need to report (cancel culture) we don't always need to go straight to the end point. Sometimes people need educating. If you get shit back, then report.

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 06:53

Skate76 · 22/09/2024 06:49

It may be a social chat not linked to work as such but that doesn't mean they can't do something about it. I'd definitely report to HR.

I work with a colleague like this won't actually speak to her colleagues when things offend her (which is everything) but runs to management because someone swore or used the wrong pronoun or the 10 billion other things that hurt her feelings. Nobody likes her, nobody dares speak to her because she's so oversensitive.

2Old2Tango · 22/09/2024 07:05

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 06:53

I work with a colleague like this won't actually speak to her colleagues when things offend her (which is everything) but runs to management because someone swore or used the wrong pronoun or the 10 billion other things that hurt her feelings. Nobody likes her, nobody dares speak to her because she's so oversensitive.

Show quote history

But this is different. It wasn't a wrong pronoun, or a bit of swearing. The OP has said it was something to do with the exploding pagers. People were badly injured and died in that attack. In a group of 50 people, in a diverse country, there's a good chance someone on the WA group may know or be acquainted to someone who was affected.

This is why the country is going to hell in a handcart, because people think they can make fun of awful situations and say "it's just bantz", "it's only a meme", "don't be a snowflake". if you can find humour in people being killed in such a horrific way then you are a very sad individual. And those on here referring to people as a 'grass' for taking a stand...grow up ffs, you sound about 12 years old.

Channellingsophistication · 22/09/2024 07:10

I’d call it out on the chat and say how offensive it was. Others on chat will agree wirh you

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 22/09/2024 07:18

It was Islamophobic and referenced the recent pager explosions in Lebanon.

I am pretty sure I have seen the meme you are talking about...not sure I'd call it offensive if so. Mildly amusing (but that's what you get when you carry are a Hezbollah terrorist fighter carrying a pager near your balls) but not offensive.

TBH you can report it all you want. If the person gets sacked or disciplined and people find out it's you then you'll likely be a social pariah because even if others thought it was offensive (which if it is the one I think it is, it really isn't - it's on a par with the meme that was discussed here a few weeks ago) they won't trust that you won't find something they say offensive and then get them sacked/disciplined. And if they don't take action, you'll be the person who tries to get people sacked/disciplined.

Either way it's a bit of a lose/lose for you.

Rosesarere · 22/09/2024 07:18

If it's a social chat why would you involve HR? You can leave the chat at any time if you don't agree with what's being posted

Differentstarts · 22/09/2024 07:24

2Old2Tango · 22/09/2024 07:05

But this is different. It wasn't a wrong pronoun, or a bit of swearing. The OP has said it was something to do with the exploding pagers. People were badly injured and died in that attack. In a group of 50 people, in a diverse country, there's a good chance someone on the WA group may know or be acquainted to someone who was affected.

This is why the country is going to hell in a handcart, because people think they can make fun of awful situations and say "it's just bantz", "it's only a meme", "don't be a snowflake". if you can find humour in people being killed in such a horrific way then you are a very sad individual. And those on here referring to people as a 'grass' for taking a stand...grow up ffs, you sound about 12 years old.

Show quote history

And you don't think people are killed because of their sexuality/ gender you can't just pick and choose what's offensive and what's not

puzzlesandactivediscussions · 22/09/2024 07:25

I would report it and on a group chat of up to 50 then I’d be surprised if you were the only one.

If this is person feels it’s okay to post this sort of shit on a work group chat then imagine what they’d be doing / saying in private.

GrouachMacbeth · 22/09/2024 07:26

Was it islamophobic (bearing in mind Islam means peace) or was it terrorist-phobic?

Needleprick · 22/09/2024 07:27

2Old2Tango · 22/09/2024 07:05

But this is different. It wasn't a wrong pronoun, or a bit of swearing. The OP has said it was something to do with the exploding pagers. People were badly injured and died in that attack. In a group of 50 people, in a diverse country, there's a good chance someone on the WA group may know or be acquainted to someone who was affected.

This is why the country is going to hell in a handcart, because people think they can make fun of awful situations and say "it's just bantz", "it's only a meme", "don't be a snowflake". if you can find humour in people being killed in such a horrific way then you are a very sad individual. And those on here referring to people as a 'grass' for taking a stand...grow up ffs, you sound about 12 years old.

Show quote history

Quite.

I think people use this ‘don’t be a grass’ phrase because they mistakenly think it makes them sound ‘cool’ or ‘edgy’, when in reality they sound like middle class naice tweens do when they attempt to be ‘road men’. That is- daft.

If you are the kind of person who finds amusement in the killing of innocent people, that is indeed your prerogative and your business-

but if you are the kind of person who thinks it’s reasonable to publish that amusement and circulate it to 50 colleagues, many of whom you don’t even know… well then you put it out there, unsolicited and unwelcome- you shouldn’t rely on ‘no one likes a tell tale” to stop people taking issue with it.

This is not in fact the primary school playground, and nobody is ‘telling over you’ because you because you stuck your tongue out.

Errors · 22/09/2024 07:29

No, I wouldn’t report it