Would you report offensive message in a group work chat?

[ChilliPB]

As the title says really. A pretty offensive meme sent as ‘banter’ (not funny and genuinely offensive). It was sent in a group chat - a non-official WhatsApp chat with over 50 people, used for social chat. We have a separate more official group chat for work related stuff.

Options are to pick it up individually with the person (who I don’t know and have never met). Or flag direct to HR. Or flag up to HR but not disclose what was said or who said it and hope they could send a stern but general reminder about behaviour and conduct and the individual wouldn’t actually be identified.

Appreciate its a non-official chat but even so. Really likely to offend some of the members there and also it’s the sort of job where if it came out it would look awful, and I’m worried those that don’t report it could also be in trouble as complicit.

What would you do?!

so you think a young woman should just suck up what is in effect workplace bullying?

I don't. And I'm glad she stuck to her guns.

@daisychain01 Thank you ☺️! I won’t lie, it was very intimidating at times but as I said to a PP I don’t regret it one bit.

People keep saying the OP has a right to ‘call this out’
Yes she has. The same amount of right as the person had to post the thing in the first place.

They have a right to share a meme
The OP has a right to be offended by it and say something on the chat
They have a right to report it if they want
Other colleagues have a right to disagree with her actions and ‘send her to Coventry’ for it

Can you see how this works?? The person who is ‘offended’ doesn’t have any more or less rights than the person that did the apparent ‘offending’

I am tired of people thinking the correct course is for people who share views to be silenced in to submission, for deleting things they may have posted or by sacking them for it. No. They get to say it, you get to disagree with it, they get to disagree right back and that’s how debate happens. Silencing people or scaring people in to not sharing their views is not the answer.

You see it all the time with posts on here being reported and deleted and threads are full of holes with no context. Why do we think words or pictures on a screen are the epitome of evil? What harm do they actually cause, other than offence, which in of itself is not harmful??

Islam isn’t a race.

The same way I defend sticking a penis straw in my mouth or a calendar with fit half dressed men on

The point is that innocent people were killed alongside the terrorists. I don't think it matters who the parents of the dead children were, it doesn't make their lives expendable and I don't think it's something to laugh about.

It would help if OP would come back and clarify.

I'm not talking about the aftermath I'm talking about her walking up to someone and saying you can't use your mug as it offends me

No, but employer just needs reasonable belief that its racist/discriminatory. Which can be subjective.

Which is why it's always advisable not to post anything that anyone could deem to be racist etc.

Op hasn’t even said that it was mocking dead people.

... racists and the racist generation doesn't help either.

Fixed that for you.

Mate, i used to be in the army. I am not a snowflake. I have literally heard it all. And some of it i have called out, some of it i have escalated. And yes, on occasion i was bullied for reporting a group of NCOs who shouted "get your tits out for the lads" whenever i arrived at work.

I regret nothing and am glad that my actions improved things for a lot of people who worked with me.

Stuff like this is why I have never been in any work group chats. The boundaries are blurry in the extreme.

I think you have two choices - report, or leave the group. Because if someone else reports it, and it is agreed to be problematic, questions may be asked of those who didn't do something.

@ChilliPB Was it racist? You’ve kind of lit the match and run away here.

I didn’t actually do that. I asked if he could move it to a more discreet place. Did you miss that bit?

I haven’t voiced an opinion either way.

It is a fact that children died, innocent adults died or were injured and it was terrifying for the whole community.

Yes civilians are killed or injured in other attacks by other groups-

it would also be utter stupidity to advertise the fact you think that’s really funny by publishing it on social networking and sending it to 50 random people who happen to work in the same place as you.

If you find something funny that you can reasonably expect others won’t (things to do with terrorism obviously fall within this- it’s a sensitive and emotive topic [see how talking about it here has upset you…]) then… just don’t send it to randoms from work online!

Its a really really easy situation to avoid.

@Megifer
I agree with you on the point it not advisable to post something other than factual

Colleagues don't have the right to send another colleague to Coventry. Most workplaces have bullying and harassment policies and ganging up and exclusing a colleague would be considered to be bullying. For them to do this to a colleague reporting racism would make their conduct even worse.

What's the work chat for? Is it for something like shift cover/swaps?
We had something like this in a previous job that I would tend to mute unless I needed a swap or extra money.

Is this something not a good thing to be in at all as i could go weeks not looking at it so would missed loads messages, are posters saying if someone's posted something I've missed in all these messages that's then reported and I've not I could have been disciplined?!

that's not what she said though. She asked if he would put it somewhere else on his desk so it wasn't in her line of sight. A totally different request (and in her shoes the mug may have met with an accident)

Then he not only didn't do that, he made it more obnoxiously obvious and she was bullied by several other people too.

Reading comprehension is key here.

Why should he your the one with the problem so don't look. There is nothing wrong with a pair of breasts just like their is nothing wrong with a pair of eyes or arms their body parts

Wow way too many posts to review but thanks for all who replied. Especially those who work in this area or have experience. I’m off the thread now to decide what to do.

So you can also run to HR crying because your colleagues aren’t talking to you?! Can you really not see the issue with that?? They don’t have to talk to her if they don’t want to, for whatever reason they choose. If they were being directly horrible to her, that’s different… but you can’t force a bunch of adults to play nice FFS

All of you shouting racism. When did Islam become a race? I’m not being inflammatory, just really confused.

No, the death of any children is not laughable. The death of the 12 Druze children killed in a playground by a Hezbollah rocket a few weeks ago was certainly not laughable.

Was the meme you found offensive anything to do with people having had the exploding pagers in their pockets? If so, that would only apply to terrorists, not their children.

Depends whether it’s jokey stuff about the deaths, or just relaying fact and opinion. If jokey, then maybe let HR know, but if someone is just stating popular belief that Hezbollah are terrorists and you reap what you sow, then I don’t think that is offensive, it’s just opinion (free speech and all that), and if I didn’t agree I’d just leave the chat.