Positive HPV smear…cheating husband?

[BananaHamock]

Hi all. So, I’ve just received smear results and they show I’m positive for HPV (and have cell changes…) Besides spiralling at needing a colposcopy, I’m now desperate to hear how you can get HPV without intercourse/skin to skin contact.

Dr. Google seems pretty insistent that’s the only way. So is the only conclusion my husbands playing away?

@lanthanum How do you think people catch it?

It's only through sexual contact but that doesn't have to include penetrative sex.

https://www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv/how-do-people-get-hpv

Jo's Trust is a brilliant source of info.

@BananaHamock There's a lot going on here. I will let other posters advise you on the emotional / marriage side of things. I just wanted to let you know that I had a colposcopy and then surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells. I was in and out in the same day, slight bleeding like a light period for a few days and that was the end of it. This was 30 yrs ago. I have never had a bad smear since. The surgeon who treated me said that his theory was that once that top layer of cells were removed, for some reason you are even less likely to have a repeat problem but that he didn't have enough concrete data to write it up as a theory.

Anyway, what I want you to know is that you'll be ok. If it needs treating you will come out the other side of it just fine and in time, be able to have children without it affecting that.

Good luck with the other stuff.

I had a smear with HOV present in 2017 and had been with DH for five years at that point. If you read up it can lie dormant for ages - it didn’t even enter my head about cheating, I just assumed one of us had picked it up from a previous relationship. I’d be a bit more suspicious though if (1) you’d both lost your virginity to each other (not sure if that’s the case?) and (2) with your update about the last few years. But the HPV alone wouldn’t worry me.

FYI I had a colposcopy and a LLETZ and no issues since and I’ve had 2 babies. It’s a horrible time but touch wood no issues in nearly 8 years so I’m sure it’ll be fine :)

I had the HPV virus (genital warts) when I was 16 and a virgin. At the time medical science said I had to have sex. I hadn't. Two friends got it afterwards and there had been no physical contact. When I had my last smear they were very clear that HPV does not have to be sexually transmitted.

I didn't even know there was a test for HPV other than through PAP. I think it's the sort of thing that people can have for ages and not know.

Essentially if you've had unprotected sex before the time the vaccination came out, ie you're older then I think it's extremely likely to have or have had some type of strain.

It doesn't necessarily mean your partner cheated. It could mean they had HPV or that you had it for ages, but if you never had a wart for example, you wouldn't know as they never used to have a test for it specifically or you wouldn't seek one if no symptoms.

The cancer ones and wart ones are different. But some strain have no symptoms or some people never show any symptoms.

Trust me - personal experience - there are other ways of getting it. I was a virgin with no sexual contact!

With the new smear test a high number of woman are now testing positive for hpv, they say it can lie dormant for decades, and can be transmitted orally, even via sharing cigarettes etc. I am sure there was a study on under 16 virgins and many tested positive.

I had a positive for cin3 years after I had last been with a partner. It can lie dormant for up to 3 years. I had put it off for 2 years. So I'm lucky I went when I did.

Yes this! My attitude before reading this as I HATE smears and was coerced by the practice nurse into having my last one.

I had decided that as have not been sexually active for years now, no need to bother with anymore as they are only searching for HPV. I had no idea it could be dormant and reappear. I thought you either had it, and it showed up, or you newly caught it from a sexual partner.

OP you have done a good thing with this thread.

Now I realise I have to continue having the horrible things till perpetuity😩

You may or may not have a new infection due to your partner cheating.

You do know he was lining at least one woman up to cheat.

Almost every single poster on here who, with kids in the mix, says they'be been cheated on/left etc. will say that there was some cheating or attempted cheating or disloyal behaviour etc etc in the past, followed by phrases like 'though we'd worked through it/got through it".

The "we" there is generally a fallacy.
"We" got through nothing .... He tried to cheat, she let it go, he thought secretly "phew, got away with that, she's a soft touch/doormat/won't walk easily or at all".

They haven't changed their character (who does) or values.

I'd be extremely wary about having kids with someone you caught lining up to cheat on you.

You lost your virginity to him but did he lose it to you? It can be dormant in the body for decades

It’s such a common virus that almost everyone is exposed at some point. When I was a teenager I was told there was no point having the vaccine as I’d had sex once and that was enough to have already been exposed

Your dh has definitely cheated. It would’ve come up in a previous test if you have been testing for 30 years.

HPV testing has only been fully rolled out since the end of 2019. Depending on if you were in a pilot area and how often you've had tests this could well be only the first or second time you've actually been tested for HPV, prior to that they just looked for the cell changes.

Keep in mind that for most areas it is relatively new that they test fit HPV with a smear. It may not have flagged up in previous smear tests because they weren't testing for it

Don't know if someone has mentioned this, but just so you know, it can be passed back and forth between the two of you and takes a couple of years to clear on its own, so you would have to take precautions to get rid of it for good and have hubby tested a couple of years down the line before having unprotected sex again.

Doesn't that contradict everyone else?

Making me think ex h cheated again 💔😡😢

OP, I tested positive after 20 years in a happy stable partnership. It was post 2019 and when I was in peri menopause. It's nothing to do with cheating. I had a colposcopy and then another smear and I was negative.

You're wrong and really irresponsible to state this as fact. As many posters have pointed out, it's only in the last 5 or so years that they've tested for HPV during smear tests. HPV is a virus which can change between being active and dormant. When it's dormant, it won't show up on a test.

The unhelpful fact is you will never know and there’s no way of finding out where it come from

They’ve only started testing for HPV last few years in the hope that eventually only people with HPV will need smears frequently. This without can go longer periods. And as HPV vaccines kick in cervical cancer rates will plummet.

you’re unlikely to have been tested before now

Don't talk shite @Floppyelf . They only recently started testing for HPV so it could have been present years ago but was never tested for. I'm in Scotland so HPV only started being looked for in 2020. Smears here are only every 5 years too.

As others have said, not necessarily but of course it is possible that this could be the cause!

Nuns get it. I remember having it as a teenager (pre jab, had had one BF and used condoms religiously) and being absolutely terrified 😬 sorry and hope you're ok

No. You can be a carrier of HPV have contracted it previously and it's not an Issue for your cervical health until you are testing positive.

Your immune system beats it back and it will pop up when you are run down or advancing in years.

As we age the immune system is less able to keep them contained. People may have got the virus in childhood, it's just suppressed until it isn't.

I’m a colposcopy doctor. We only started routinely testing for HPV in 2020. Before then we did a different test which looked only at the cells in your cervix. The HPV has probably bern there for a long time and you are likely to not have been tested for this at your last smear. It doesn’t mean anyone has been unfaithful.