to hope, that if dh says that he will get the kids ready for school or to do the packed lunches...

[FYIAD]

that he will do it properly, ie kids clean, with brushed hair (or at least get them to brush own hair), school clothes clean and not full of creases. And packed lunches to have food that they will actually eat in them rather than things that they don't like just because he wants to use them up or thinks that they do like them but can't actually be arsed to ask/check?

oh, and do we think going downstairs first thing and making a cup of tea/coffee (for me and him) and getting the cereal bowls and boxes of cereal out means that actually he is absolved of any other duties in the morning?

mine doesn't even get the cereal boxes out. Showers, has his two eggs and toast while reading The Telegraph, while I run round like a blue-arsed fly screeching 'Teeth' for the 27th time and trying to stop dds from killing each other.

if my dh gets the kids dressed for the day you can be sure the will be wearing clothes so mismatched and crumpled that they look like tramps. dh also believe that if he has run a brush over their heads thats enough even if their hair is still sticking up like a loo brush. men!!

ok thats helpful to know.

does he do feck all then?

why are they so shit?

I think they do it badly on purpose so that we'll take over.

they are shit becase they dont know theire arses from their elbows...and really they have the mind capacity of a ten year old boy

mines not too bad, we just have differant expectations of what getting the kids ready involves. i think expect him to do stuff and he expects to be able to get away with doing the bare minimum

mine thinks he does loads though

and actually he does tidy up - he will spend 20 mins cleaning the kitchen (i know I know) but tbh I can live with a slightly messy kitchen (I'll do it later) but I'd rather the girls were ready for school/nursery and I was ready for work without feeling like I am going to have a coronary.

then we all leave the house and he has a nice half and hour to himself to have a quiet shower etc

lucky bastard

honestly thinsg work much better in teh am when he is away on business, why is that ?

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then why does it piss me off so much? cannot believe I am actually terribly unreasonable demanding old bag as have not shown those tendencies before

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he will not have that discussino

I tried to have it this am

he will do what he wants not what I want apparently

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I get up, have shower, get the girls up, actually make them breakfast as a bowl of cereal is NOT all they want (toast, dd1 has baked beans, dd3 wants anything she can get her hands on), they have complicated packed lunches which involve cooking, summer dresses are less forgiving that winter uniform (ie they are cheap crap that crease easily), girls have HAIR , dd3 needs to be dressed and cleaned and nappy changes, bags need packing, I need somthing to eat and something for work, I need to get ready etc etc

I know I know I need to do everything I can the night before and ignore dh

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lol trefusis a kindred spirit

he is adamant that he does more than any other mortal man would ever do

dd1 likes pasta salad (ie cold pasta with pesto on it) i suppose I could do taht the night before

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i get up, make sandwich for lunch and go to work. breakfast at desk. dh does ds washing, dressing, breakfast etc with kitchen cleaning and own lunch.

when not at work i stay in bed till 8 and it is mainly all done.

DS(5) pointed out to me this morning that the reasons why he is always early/on time when Daddy takes him to school, and late when Mummy does are as follows:

1. Daddy is crosser
2. When Daddy takes them, Mummy leaves all the stuff ready by the door so we don't have to find everything and pack DD's lunch

But you can't ask him to be YOU. If he is responsible for getting them up and ready for school, then you have to accept it on his terms not on yours.

Otherwise it doesn't work.

Yes, agree you should do the packed lunches the night before.

But then really, you have to let it go and not ask him to do this as you would do it.

You can say to him in passing 'do make sure dd brushes her hair' and 'the nursery said the bag didn't have any nappies in, did you forget?'

But that's it. He's doing it as HE does it, bite your lip, smile, wait by the door.

ah now I dont agree

of course let him do things his way but why do them wrongly or craply just because you cant be arsed. so I will do it myself.

I will NOT let dds go to school in terribly creased dresses with bonkesr hair and mismatched socks

to be fiar, the girls are getting really good at doing stuff themselves, thank god.

the thing is, when he is away, everything goes smoothly as I am superorganised, when he comes back I have this crazy idea that he will actually be a HELP.

and the constant TIDYING DRIVES ME MAD

dd2's reading book for school on teh coffee table? oh no, now it is back on her BEDROOM ShELF necessitating me going up t to search for it arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

He is tidying? Badly? Yes, that is annoying.

But honestly enid, I do think that if you get wound up by him doing it badly then the end result is that he will do nothing at all.

I personally go for mismatched socks and creased dresses - in truth these thing don't bother me one iota, and that is possibly the difference - because there are things which are his responsibility and I'd rather he did them than didn't.

Also - we have been having this conversation at the 100 house recently - it is about responsibility isn't it? Them knowing the things where the buck stops with them, and you are not going to jump in and do it as well and it is up to you not to jump in and DO IT.

But I think you have to not care and have low standards, like me perhaps.