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Original poster

5th birthday party in half term

86 replies

mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 10:36

Hi

I'm thinking of throwing my DD a party for her 5th birthday. She's attended a few of her nursery friends and is now asking for one too.

She has just started Reception so hasn't made much friends yet. I was thinking to invite just the girls and a few more from her nursery. It would be in a hall, entertainer can do maximum of 20 children. I am hoping the teacher will slip invites into the girls bags.

Her birthday is on the last weekend of the Oct half term. Am I being silly to hold it that weekend. Will most people be away, I would prefer to have the party on her actual birthday as it falls on the Saturday before going back to school. But i'm worried that very few people will turn up. I don't mind if it's just 10-12 children that turn up. I just want my DD to have a nice party as it's the first I'm throwing and have no experience.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 16:45

I've just asked DD who she wants to invite and she's named around 5-6 children from her class and 9 from her nursery.. she's said she doesn't want the whole class to come so I am still at my whits end about what to do and who to invite.

OP posts:
EverybodyWantsTo · 19/09/2024 18:29

mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 16:45

I've just asked DD who she wants to invite and she's named around 5-6 children from her class and 9 from her nursery.. she's said she doesn't want the whole class to come so I am still at my whits end about what to do and who to invite.

Just invite the ones she's named, that sounds perfect! And you don't have to worry about siblings coming as there'll be space.

Kindly, you are making more of this than you need to. Even if only a couple come, I bet she'll still have a fantastic time.

sunnydayhereandnow · 19/09/2024 18:33

About dates: for my son's party I just wrote to the parents of his two best friends and checked the date worked for them, then invited the rest.

Inviting the named kids sounds perfect.

littlemousebigcheese · 19/09/2024 19:02

Could you scrap the entertainer and hire a bouncy castle instead? We always hired local village hall, had some food and dancing, pass the parcel etc and then a bouncy castle from local company. That way invite the whole class and it solves a problem!

GRex · 19/09/2024 19:07

Last day before school is probably fine.

I do find this "invite just girls regardless of her mates" nonsense disgusting, but if that's how you choose to raise your DD then you'll deal with the consequences later. Enjoy!

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2024 19:16

I have found that since Covid there has been a massive reduction in whole class parties.

I have two children with birthdays in the holidays (summer and Easter) and it's always fine- sometimes some people are away but there's enough around. That might be because we're not in a rich area though.

Let her invite the ones she wants. There's no rule that says it has to be a full class party. My youngest has never wanted a full class party- he'd rather spend time with a few good friends.

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2024 19:18

It's always useful to put an RSVP date on the invite too.

If you know the parents of her closest friends I'd ask them if they're free first and plan the party around then as if she's got her besties there it doesn't matter who else turn up.

Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 19:18

GRex · 19/09/2024 19:07

Last day before school is probably fine.

I do find this "invite just girls regardless of her mates" nonsense disgusting, but if that's how you choose to raise your DD then you'll deal with the consequences later. Enjoy!

It was just what I read here on mumsnet about party 'etiquette' inviting either whole class, just girls/boys or just a handful of kids. Which is why I thought perhaps inviting the girls would be appropriate as she hasnt made any definitive friends yet and everyday she says so and so didn't play with her or so so and was rude and doesnt want to be her friend, when they were playing fine before.

What I find disgusting is how you can judge how someone will raise their child on some silly post and how parents get offended if their child isnt invited to a party or is invited but can't be bothered to RSVP. You can't please everyone so best thing to do is please yourself and please your child and give them what they wan't and sod what everyone thinks.

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MintyNew · 19/09/2024 19:23

You've just started and making it a girls only party, I think you're starting off on the wrong note. Also the princess party message is definitely indirectly not inviting any boys.
Reception age usually does whole class parties. You don't want to be excluding children from the start.
I would definitely have it on the first weekend they start after half term and I would change the theme and include all kids.

Cyleed · 19/09/2024 19:31

Do girls onky if thats who your kid tends to be friends with.
I wouldnt do un half term as we've never had one out of 2 kids over 7+ school years.

anon2022anon · 19/09/2024 19:39

DD started school on the 4th, she's having her birthday party on Saturday. I think she's the first one in the class!
We've invited cousins and childminder friends, and then actively listened every time she's mentioned she's played with someone, and then wrote them and invite- they only went out last Friday, so short notice!
You've still got 5 weeks until October half term, so I would make a note of every child she mentions playing with (boy and girl) for the next 2 weeks and invite them. I would also ask the teachers if they can point out any child that she seems drawn to, and if they have a little sub-group within the class (regular groups of 6-8 for reading/ maths activities) then maybe invite all of those kids. You can get invites you don't even have to put names on, so just ask the teacher to pass on to all the kids in the red group or whatever.

Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 19:41

MintyNew · 19/09/2024 19:23

You've just started and making it a girls only party, I think you're starting off on the wrong note. Also the princess party message is definitely indirectly not inviting any boys.
Reception age usually does whole class parties. You don't want to be excluding children from the start.
I would definitely have it on the first weekend they start after half term and I would change the theme and include all kids.

It would have to be the weekend before returning to school or the following week.

I wouldn't change the theme that my child is so excited for. Also I don't think other children would pay particular attention to the theme at the age of 4/5, for them a a party is a party and they're more interested in who's party it is rather than if their food is served in a cinderella or Spiderman plate. But I may be wrong.

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Phen0menon · 19/09/2024 19:42

Don't split it on sex. It really is meaningless at that age, you are creating a distinction they don't see.

If you can't have the whole class (id prioritise school mates over nursery kids she'll have forgotten this time next year) I would do max 15 kids, a mix of girls and boys rather than doing most of the class and leaving out a handful.

Suzuki70 · 19/09/2024 19:45

Nobody invites everyone here. There were 44 in reception and now they're in 3 classes of 30, split year 1 and year 2. We've invited 10 to a soft play party (weekend after half term but we are going to 2 on the 26th Oct).

Phen0menon · 19/09/2024 19:45

I'd make it a fairy tale theme, Princes amd Princesses, knights, castles, etc as its a bit more open as not all children will want to go in a princess dress.

Playing massively to gender stereotypes at this age is a bit risky imho. Its how you get kids thinking they "don't fit" .

MintyNew · 19/09/2024 19:47

I do think you're wrong. You have a very specific theme. I've never had my dc attend such a specific theme at reception age. If you are thinking of stating wear princess dresses then you're actually not inviting a lot of boys.
At their age friendships change and a boy could be their very best friend. I just think when you're new, don't know any parents, starting off excluding everyone isn't the way to go.

NorthantsNewbie · 19/09/2024 19:50

5-6 from school and 9 from nursery sounds fine - if she starts playing with someone else a lot between now and the party, they can have a late invite since you aren’t at 20? I can’t imagine any parent being offended by you saying “I hadn’t realised they were friends but she would love to have X at her party.”

Do you do drop off/pick up? If so, ask DD to point out the invited children and just hand straight to parents.

stichguru · 19/09/2024 20:33

I don't think you need to be at your whits end about who to invite at all. That sounds perfect. 9 plus 6 making a maxium of 15 and probably 9 or 10 if they don't all come. That's a fine number. 6 is a quarter (maybe less) from her current class, so there is no way it's just leaving out a few people.

Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 21:07

Phen0menon · 19/09/2024 19:42

Don't split it on sex. It really is meaningless at that age, you are creating a distinction they don't see.

If you can't have the whole class (id prioritise school mates over nursery kids she'll have forgotten this time next year) I would do max 15 kids, a mix of girls and boys rather than doing most of the class and leaving out a handful.

I do need to invite her nursery friends as she is set on having them there, she's been with them since she was 18 months so most of her life and she just left nursery earlier this month. So they are priority at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 21:10

MintyNew · 19/09/2024 19:47

I do think you're wrong. You have a very specific theme. I've never had my dc attend such a specific theme at reception age. If you are thinking of stating wear princess dresses then you're actually not inviting a lot of boys.
At their age friendships change and a boy could be their very best friend. I just think when you're new, don't know any parents, starting off excluding everyone isn't the way to go.

I haven't said I will ask anyone to wear a princess dress.. my DD will not be wearing a princess costume either. Whoever I invite will just have details of who, where and when. And a kindly RSVP.

OP posts:
WeetabixWithButter · 19/09/2024 21:13

Every party all my dc attended in reception were whole class parties.
It didn't start becoming selected few until at least halfway through year 1 but mostly year 2.

Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 21:14

stichguru · 19/09/2024 20:33

I don't think you need to be at your whits end about who to invite at all. That sounds perfect. 9 plus 6 making a maxium of 15 and probably 9 or 10 if they don't all come. That's a fine number. 6 is a quarter (maybe less) from her current class, so there is no way it's just leaving out a few people.

She's named 7 girls and a boy from her class, im not sure how many girls/boys there are. I know there is 30 kids in total.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 21:19

anon2022anon · 19/09/2024 19:39

DD started school on the 4th, she's having her birthday party on Saturday. I think she's the first one in the class!
We've invited cousins and childminder friends, and then actively listened every time she's mentioned she's played with someone, and then wrote them and invite- they only went out last Friday, so short notice!
You've still got 5 weeks until October half term, so I would make a note of every child she mentions playing with (boy and girl) for the next 2 weeks and invite them. I would also ask the teachers if they can point out any child that she seems drawn to, and if they have a little sub-group within the class (regular groups of 6-8 for reading/ maths activities) then maybe invite all of those kids. You can get invites you don't even have to put names on, so just ask the teacher to pass on to all the kids in the red group or whatever.

Sounds like a good plan, will definitely have a word with the teachers and just invite the kids she actually plays with. Hats off to you though, arranging a party at the start. Seems as though if you don't invite the whole class you get your head bitten off and told it will affect the rest of your child's life

OP posts:
stichguru · 19/09/2024 21:58

mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 21:14

She's named 7 girls and a boy from her class, im not sure how many girls/boys there are. I know there is 30 kids in total.

Show quote history

So she's inviting 8 out of 30? That means she's inviting 8 and not inviting 22. That's completely fine. The ONLY reason that might be tricky is if she's invited all but 1 or 2 of the girls, but it's very unlikely that there's like 9 or 10 girls and 20 boys. Much more likely that there's 15 or so girls, so she's invited between a quarter to a third of the class, 1/2 the girls and a boy. That's perfect!

Original poster
mamaaa2bee · 19/09/2024 22:02

@stichguru

Yes theres definitely atleast 15 girls in the class. I'm just worried that the other parents will be upset their child wasn't invited and begrudge DD for the rest of her school years. Im just being dramatic lol

OP posts: