5th birthday party in half term

[mamaaa2bee]

Hi

I'm thinking of throwing my DD a party for her 5th birthday. She's attended a few of her nursery friends and is now asking for one too.

She has just started Reception so hasn't made much friends yet. I was thinking to invite just the girls and a few more from her nursery. It would be in a hall, entertainer can do maximum of 20 children. I am hoping the teacher will slip invites into the girls bags.

Her birthday is on the last weekend of the Oct half term. Am I being silly to hold it that weekend. Will most people be away, I would prefer to have the party on her actual birthday as it falls on the Saturday before going back to school. But i'm worried that very few people will turn up. I don't mind if it's just 10-12 children that turn up. I just want my DD to have a nice party as it's the first I'm throwing and have no experience.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Ultimately there will always be people who aren't able to come and you've said yourself that you don't mind if not everyone does come. You can explicitly state no siblings in the invite and I would assume that it is a party where the adults stay so that could get rid of a few with siblings too, but tbh in my experience it's always been assumed that the invite is for the named child only unless otherwise mentioned.

Echoing the don't just invite the girls - my son is now in Y1 and is mostly friends with girls. He was distraught last year when one of his (best) friends said he couldn't come to her party because he was a boy and the party was only for girls. They're both only children and have a sibling-esque relationship but she also lacks tact, as most 4-5 year olds do!

I'm doing a whole class reception party the weekend at the beginning of October half term.. Invites sent this week and have had about 15 rsvps back so far (roughly half), fairly equal mix of boys/girls.

I suspect most will attend if they can as it's one of the first parties. Had a couple of declines due to being away, but that's the way it goes.

If you have to limit to 20 I wouldn't invite too many more just in case, just get them out early with a reply deadline and have some reserve names to invite if you need to up the numbers (my eldest has often been invited last minute to parties and if he's free he goes, it's fairly normal I think in primary school)

One of ours always has birthdays during Easter hols. The other during Feb half term.
After a couple of years of people turning down invitations or dropping out, due to being away, we started having the parties a week late or early. Now we get very few who can't come, out of maybe 10-12 guests.

Don't agree with this at all. It was absolutely the done thing around here. Loads of parents did a gender split!

I think you should hold the party on the day of your child’s birthday but invite the whole class. For my DD’s 5th birthday, as she was born during the Christmas holidays, we had her birthday on the day itself during the holidays and invited the whole class. Only 13 people rsvp’d yes but that was what I wanted as we also have friends from nursery. There were 18 children in total. I didn’t leave anyone out, it happened naturally

Get a different entertainer. What kind of melt can only have 20 kids at a party?

I held a party for my son in the summer holidays (August baby) and I sent out 45 invites out and 15 attended. I wouldn't skim it down to girls only (my son's best friend is a girl in his class).

Also be wary hardly anyone will respond until closer to the date (I sent invites out end of term, party was mid August - yes it did send me insane not knowing if anyone was attending!!)

Am I heck inviting 30-odd kids to DD's party! She had 10 for her 5th birthday which was a crafting party. She wants the same again next year so it'll be 10 kids again.

I disagree it's the norm at all. Some people choose to do it, but plenty choose to do smaller parties too.

I think this depends on the demographic of your school.
At this age, my DC's friends' parents would be overjoyed to have something to break up the October half term (often difficult to find things to keep the DC amused at home).

If you're in an area where a lot of people are likely to go away, then maybe not.

Agree with other posts to invite more childten as invariably plans will have been prearranged for the break. Also, slipping invites into bags by teacher doesn't seem reliable.... I'd find a more reliable and direct way. There are always posts here about mums wondering why people didn't rsvp, didn't get invite, being ignored, etc.

I would invite the whole class - it’s more the done thing in reception - but less of the nursery class. Realistically, except for maybe one or two that you become family friends with, those friendships will become pretty irrelevant.
Your child is likely to make her best friends through to year 6 (and longer?) from her current class so that’s who I’d be concentrating on.

I’ve been to countless reception whole class parties, some even in September when the class has only just met. Nursery friends are fairly instantly forgotten apart from maybe a special friend or two.

See, I’ve thrown both whole class parties and at home parties for a select few friends (usually around the 5-12 number) and I would argue both are completely normal especially if the activity lends itself to a small group anyway - crafts as you’ve said or maybe horse riding, that sort of thing. One of my children has always much preferred small parties and that’s fine with me.

What I don’t think is normal is inviting all the girls in the class and no boys, or all the boys and no girls. This in addition to a LOT from the old nursery when you likely won’t see 90% of them ever again.

Yes I agree about the gender split thing. DD had both boys and girls, she got to choose who to invite, but there was a limit of 12 I think for the venue (small crafting business) so she only picked the kids she actually spends time with and she wanted there, not just random kids she never interacts with at school.

We have done the whole class party once to tick the box but I honestly find them a bit soulless because half the time most of the kids aren't even interacting with each other, you spend a fortune just because you feel you should or as some sort of reciprocal thing, but at the end of it I kind of felt like I'd just paid for a bunch of kids to have a separate day out in the same place. But DD1 absolutely loved her small crafting party and is desperate to do it again, so that's what we will do. I'm definitely not arranging a 30-kid party as none of us want it!

@redskydarknight how would you judge if its an area where people go away alot?

I don't really want to arrange a whole class party as it's no different to another school day I guess. I can't really ask her who she wants there as she may just pick a few that she plays with today and that will constantly change everyday as she only just started today... I think she would much rather prefer a smaller event with a special character visit rather than all her class jumping around on a bouncy castle for an hour thats why I thought inviting the girls to her girly party made sense to me. But like someone said I could just invite everyone, some may well not be able to attend as its in the half term. I'm just not looking forward to chasing RSVP's

Well, you live in the area and you presumably talk to people? Are people likely to go on holidays (probably affluent areas)? Do they have extended family locally, or are they likely to take advantage of the holiday to travel to stay with family living further afield?

Those are probably the main plans for October that people will already have in September :)

DD's birthday is in October hair term, and this is what we do. It's often a Halloween party, which draws the crowds!

I'd happily attend in half term. I'd have thought that most reception kids will be using half term to chill rather than go away on holiday all week?

Please don't do the girl/boy thing though. This kind of artificial split is nonsense and we should be resisting it as parents and not enforcing it.

You don't have to invite everyone, but just ask for a few names of people she plays with?

I also think it's fine to not allow siblings, I've been to parties like this and it's not bothered me.

@redskydarknight

Moved to the area just as I had DD and covid hit, so spent the first couple years in lockdown, no mother baby groups, she went to a private nursery so drop off and pick up all varied so didnt talk to anyone. Im new to the school scene and don't understand how the area you live in can impact your plans over the half term.

Im sure people with lots or little money go on holidays especially as you can stick it all on a credit card these days and people may visit family/grandparents in other parts of the country that doesn't cost anything but petrol.

Do whole class, put it on the watsapp and ask for preferred dates and get a different entertainer/venue. Otherwise you’ll invite only the girls by way of a slip that you don’t know the parents have seen, no one will show up and you’ll have wasted your money. Also a risk that the boys parents won’t invite your DD if they’re having a wider party (some parents can be petty).

You live in an area where people might go away at half term.
Unless your views are very out of kilter with other parents.

Please don't ask the teachers to get involves with invitations. They've got enough to do and it really isn't one of those "it'll just take a minute" jobs.
Those add up.

I don't think anything is wrong with the date you suggest at all. Be prepared for those who cannot be bothered to reply, those who drop out without much or no notice at all though.

Plenty of threads about replies to invites highlight this.

Yes I am dreading this exact thing after reading those threads lol

My sons birthday always falls in February half term so after his first party she we had loads of refusals I always had it a different time.