Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws!!

59 replies

Hydref66 · 18/09/2024 22:01

What would you do with an in-law who constantly puts you down and makes every effort to make sure that you understand where you stand in the family (absolutely right at the bottom!!!) For context SIL is a very unpleasant person. Just the other day for example she asked why my DH (her brother) had been helping our best friends so much recently (they have just lost their baby and she is well aware of this!!?) when I tried to give her an answer (even though I was gobsmacked by such a question) eg “well thats just how DH is, he wants to help” she had the NERVE to tell me “I dont think its your place to tell ME about my own brother , your nothing here, not your place!” Erm excuse me?! 1) you asked the question (unbelievabley so!) 2) Erm I am his WIFE, carried and birthed his children?! Excuse me? This is just one example but god!!! WWUD? NC is so tempting but I want to give her a piece of my mind!

OP posts:
friendlycat · 20/09/2024 17:30

With all of your updates you really do have to ignore and pity her at the end of the day.

She has such a narrow life still living at home with her parents at the age of 44.
She also has a spiteful and unattractive personality that’s very off putting to say the least.

You on the other hand have a far more fulfilling life which makes for more happiness than she has, or is likely to ever have considering her personality.

Her barbs and poisonous nature are to be pitied.

pictoosh · 20/09/2024 17:47

I would have replied, "It is a genuine shame that you haven't met someone to have a marriage and family with but it is not my fault. There is no need to be spiteful."

I wonder what she would have said to that.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/09/2024 17:57

You tell your husband he has three choices

  1. You don't see your sister in law again and will do your best to avoid the kids seeing her as well, it's not good for them to see their mum being spoken to or about like that
  1. He speaks to her before you see her again and tells her if he ever speaks to you like that again she will not see you or the kids again.
  1. You will stop biting your tongue and give as good as you get, telling her exactly what you think of her next time, which is likely to end up in a huge family row.
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/09/2024 17:57

Not sure why that's defaulted to three 1's!

IsawwhatIsaw · 20/09/2024 18:46

Other posters have already said this, but it’s pretty plain she’s insecure and jealous of you and your life. But that’s an explanation and not an excuse for her crap behaviour.
shame as if she was decent and behaved pleasantly to you, guess you’d see her more often.

Original poster
Hydref66 · 21/09/2024 12:12

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/09/2024 17:57

You tell your husband he has three choices

  1. You don't see your sister in law again and will do your best to avoid the kids seeing her as well, it's not good for them to see their mum being spoken to or about like that
  1. He speaks to her before you see her again and tells her if he ever speaks to you like that again she will not see you or the kids again.
  1. You will stop biting your tongue and give as good as you get, telling her exactly what you think of her next time, which is likely to end up in a huge family row.

Thank you. Me and husband have decided to go as little contact as possible (only if we come across her when seeing PIL’s) I have blocked her on all socials, I do not want something like that having access to my life or children. If I do come across her and she asks why we are not making an effort anymore I will give her a piece of my mind. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted! I no longer owe her anything to try and be kind / pleasing for the sake of my children. No more!

OP posts:
RedHotChilliPreppers · 24/09/2024 08:23

Well done. Try not to think if her either to give you peace of mind.

Practise mental Tai Chi. When she pops into your head, roll it into a ball and gently push it to the side, and replace it with something positive or productive.

Toomanyemails · 24/09/2024 08:26

Hydref66 · 21/09/2024 12:12

Thank you. Me and husband have decided to go as little contact as possible (only if we come across her when seeing PIL’s) I have blocked her on all socials, I do not want something like that having access to my life or children. If I do come across her and she asks why we are not making an effort anymore I will give her a piece of my mind. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted! I no longer owe her anything to try and be kind / pleasing for the sake of my children. No more!

Show quote history

This is the best option, well done OP! You can also just not participate in the visits to PILs surely, or insist they come to you or meet outside the house. Hope that your DH clearly supports you!

theeyeofdoe · 24/09/2024 08:43

Next time tell her that maybe if she was a bit nicer to people she wouldn't be living at home at the age of 44!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread