Partner says I'm lazy

[Ionasmum19]

I have been signed off of work due to my mental health which I have struggled with for a while. My partner is a self employed painter and decorater. He will come home from work and have a go at me and call me lazy for not being at work. He says I sit and do nothing all day which isn't true. I take our dd to school, do the shopping, housework etc then go back to collect dd in the afternoon. If he comes home and there are weeds in the garden, my coffee cup hasn't been washed etc, then it is a row as he says he has been working hard all day and I've done nothing. I understand he works hard but it's not my fault I'm not at work, my doctor has said I'm not fit to be there. AIBU for being annoyed by this or am I as lazy as he makes out? Apologies for the rambling post!

Sounds like he's being a prick. Sounds like you are keeping things going, and signed off. How can he argue with that?

Your partner is an abusive POS.

Mental illness can be just as debilitating as a physical one.

I bet if the tables were turned you wouldn't be verbally and emotionally abusing him.

This sounds like he doesn’t care about your mental health. Usually doctors will tell you to do things you might enjoy like go for days out and meet with friends. Why does he think you’ll get better by doing house/garden work all day?

Maybe he is having his own issues and is resentful because he can’t be signed off.

Are you being paid?

Perhaps you need to get a grip and he’s right.

You aren't lazy, you are unfit for work and still managing to do the school runs and other household duties. Keeping a house and a child is hardwork.

You are doing your best. Stay strong 💪

It sounds as though he doesn't understand that you're mentally ill, and he resents having to be the one going out to work on his own.

Are you getting sick pay from your employers, OP?

Sounds like his abusive could be the cause of your MH issues.

This is not being sarcastic but have you ever attributed your mental health issues to how he treats you? Because I bet this isn't the only time he calls you names and is mean. It's amazing how many women I know whose mental health has improved dramatically by getting rid of aan!

This was exactly my point to him, if it was the other way around I wouldn't say anything to him!

Yeah I'm getting sick pay, it's not much but enough to pay my share of everything

Yes I've considered this many times! I've always been an anxious person but I don't even recognise myself anymore.

You have 6 hours of shopping and housework to do every single day? If you are unwell, you are unwell, I wouldn't claim to him that you are double busy though.

Can you list some of his positive attributes so we can at least know why you're with such a catch?

Honestly OP, start planning to leave. He won't get any better and you won't get better either!

R u getting support for your MH? Is your absence from work likely to be longterm? Maybe your partner feels that he has additional financial responsibilities that cause him stress if it is longterm?
Seeing both sides, I hope you start to feel better soon

@Farting

Nasty post

@Ionasmum19

i think your MH would improve no end if you weren't with this bellend

will you consider leaving the nasty arsewipe?

Doctor who has diagnosed mental health issues and patient who is experiencing those issues firsthand know nothing; abusive boyfriend and rude rando on MumsNet are "right"! What're the odds? 😂

Well, someone on this thread needs to get a grip. But it isn't OP.

What steps are you taking to overcome your mental health issues? Do you plan to return to work? Is he under financial pressure /strain?

if I was working to provide the only main income I’d also kinda expect things at home to be taken care of especially if alone for a large part of it

I bet if you get rid of him your mental health will improve, he's your problem

@Farting what a nasty vicious comment.
Behind a keyboard bitch or if you are a man a bastard

Of course gps can diagnose mental health issues.