To also lock cat out of the room?

[JulianBoon]

DD used to have cat in her room. He is an orange cat and she has a desk with built in shelves with lots of trinkets on and he always tries to jump up and knock everything off.

So he's taken to sleeping in my room, but he wakes me up all the time. Jumping up and down off his bed (thick blankets onto of the wardrobe) and coming to make biscuits on my face at 4am.

He can't sleep in the living room (dog)

I was thinking of getting him a big tall cat tree for the upstairs hall, so just outside my bedroom, something with an enclosed bed to keep him warm over winter.

I feel mean locking him out of all the bedrooms at night but he is really naughty and loves to knock things over! Funnily he doesn't do it in the daytime!

Hurray!

Cats are not nocturnal.

They are crepuscular (most active at dawn and dusk).

Have you got my late Orange car, Cheddar reincarnated. She'd always make biscuits on my face at ungodly hours. It was a pain at the time, but I miss it now!

Mine have always been shut in downstairs but with access to the cat flap. Each has been able to sleep, eat, go out at will. Several cat baskets so they can pick and choose where they sleep. I just find that easier. They seem happy.

I have - she said it's important to get to know a pet's individual needs and respond to them, so she said it was cruel to deny access to a bedroom if that's what the cat clearly wants. As I said, that's a bit different from putting a cat in the kitchen at night from day one. We have no idea whether the OP has tried anything like... simply putting the ornaments in a box.

Obviously you might not agree with her and that's fine, but actually that poster has been polite and simply offered her own view, and she's been met with defensive and mocking replies. I don't know why people post in AIBU if they can't handle hearing someone else's point of view!

It's a cat. Not a person, not a child.
Shut it in another room. If it doesn't have a cat flap it will be fine anywhere as long as it has a litter tray and food.
My cat is shut in the kitchen at night, he can come and go as he likes but even during the day he's not allowed in bedrooms.

On the flip side, maybe you shouldn't go around accusing people of being cruel or neglectful if you don't want backlash for it. I actually don't think that poster has been polite at all, and she's been (rightly) called out for her comments.

OP is doing absolutely nothing wrong - cats don't need to sleep in with their owners even if that's what they've been allowed to do before. Prioritising the sleep of a human is not "cruel" in any sense of the word.

Well, she didn't accuse anyone of cruelty or neglect. Read her posts again 😉

Politeness is subjective, I guess.

BTW the cat NEVER sleeps with me. He sleeps on top of the wardrobe.

If he stayed up there it wouldn't be an issue. But he jumps down, to my dressing table, knocking things over. Gets on my bed, not to sleep, but to pat my face, knead my chest or bite my toes if they're out of the covers.

So he's not 'used to sleeping with me' because he sleeps on his own, the other side of the room

Well I wasn't going to post again but just tell me why you needed to get a final nasty dig in? My last post wasn't even addressed to you.

My intention when I put my original comment on was just to put one post on. It's only because of you , and other posters, quoting me back and being unpleasant have I come back to answer your snide remarks.

You posted in AIBU. I gave an opinion. You didn't like my opinion. Fair enough. Why you and other posters have to be so unpleasant about it I don't know.

You have plenty of other pp backing you up. Why not just ignore what I had to say? Why post in AIBU if you don't want differing viewpoints?

What you need is a cosy cat sleeping bag...

(Facebook reels clearly has an amazing algorithm to show me this right now!)

You basically accused the OP of neglecting her cat. That's nasty and hardly just "offering an opinion" is it?

This.

You told me I shouldn't own a cat. And inferred I'm an unfit owner.

Take your faux outrage elsewhere.

Maybe volunteer at some shelters where cats actually need help, then you wouldn't have the time or energy to misdirect your emotions at people that don't deserve it.

Ok forget the cat, do they do them in human size!?

She said this after you called her a martyr and said you might nominate her for a Pride of Britain award.

@takealettermsjones

well to be fair that kind of reponse is to be expected when the poster is implying that good cat ownership means sacrificing your own sleep to accommodate the cats preference to be in your bedroom!

Nope. Her very first words on the thread was 'poor cat'

She then followed up with how I need to put the emotional needs of my cat above my own.

Which is ridiculous

Oh dear. You haven’t accepted that this is “his”
house now……..

just a joke from another cat slave 😂

I do agree that that kind of response has come to be expected on this website.

I’ve had a total of 6 cats over the years - a mix of rescues and friends’ cats ‘accidents’. Some from kittens, some have arrived as adults. None have ever come into my bedroom, or scratched and yowled outside it. It’s not inevitable. If yours won’t, then shut them somewhere else and don’t give in. Sleep training for cats.

Yep. And those words don't imply you shouldn't own a cat, do they? Those words reflect her opinion. She didn't start talking about "why bother to own a cat" until you were rude and mocking to her.

You're entitled to think her opinion is ridiculous, of course. But why did you post in AIBU if you didn't want to hear any opposing views?

Eh, the ship has sailed at this point, its been 3 years. I'm sure the cat could have learnt, but it would have meant DP being far more on top of it, and it turns out that wasn't going to happen.

My real issue would be with having her anywhere near my pillow, and to be fair to her she worked out pretty damn quick that that was non negotiable and always stays at the bottom of the bed.

There's nothing humble about my ginger boy!

@takealettermsjones

the opposing view being that OP’s need for sleep should come second to her cat’s want to be in her bedroom? No one has to hear that and not be like 🙄

If he's the other side of the door to you he'll want to come in, and will scratch at the door until he gets his way (and howl loudly if he's anything like mine!).
Mine get shut in the kitchen all night, with access to the garden. I don't worry if it's a bit chilly, they've got nice fur coats. I just put them some cosy beds in there.