To be annoyed by this?

[Hernamewaslola22]

I work in a team of about 15 people and we all start at the same time every day and always have. Every day starts with a team meeting. 1 or 2 people are 5 - 10 minutes late EVERY day, often with no apology. There's been emails, it's been brought up at meetings but nothing changes. I think it's so inconsiderate.

I support a mum, one thing she was struggling with was getting her kids to school on time.
Every day they were 5-30 minutes late.

I sat down with her and we worked backwards from school time - 15 minutes walk, 10 minutes to get shoes and coats on, 20 minutes for breakfast etc etc. That meant they had to get up at 7:15 at the latest. She was astonished. She had never worked it out, and we talked about setting alarms and also that she needed to prioritise school. If she saw the floor was dirty from breakfast she would clean it before leaving for school.

She found it really, really hard to leave a job which needed doing in order to leave for school. She would not use alarms, and had no concept of the time.

In her mind being on time just was not important and she couldn't seem to make it important. She has improved, usually 5-10 minutes, rarely longer, but she cannot close that last gap.

I found it fascinating actually, having been brought up to not be late and to work out time etc so that I knew when to leave.

See people commenting about ADHD potentially contributing, not saying it isn’t possible, but it shouldn’t be an excuse. I have ADHD and very much so struggle with showing up to things on time, however I am often not late. I am late by 1-5 minutes to some meetings every so often (1x/month maybe? I have easily 5+ meetings per day) due to losing track of time deep in my work, but will show up and immediately apologize for being late to take accountability and recognize the inconvenience.

I also make a huge effort to check the time over and over leading up to a meeting starting to make every attempt to avoid being late. Just saying, it’s on the individual to recognize their weaknesses regardless of diagnoses, then come up with ways to mitigate those weaknesses to reduce impact on others.

but 7:15 is the very latest. She should have then planned in "Floor cleaning" time or "emergency OCD issue" time and got up at 6:45 or something.

ADHD or not - if you have to be somewhere at 8 because, as in OPs case, the rest of the day depends on that meeting, then you have to either accept that you must change jobs, or you make a plan add an hour to your expected time and get up then. Adults, ADHD or not, doing adult jobs for which they are paid, need to do their bloody jobs. And if they need reasonable adjustments, that is between them and the employer. But reasonable adjustments shouldn't be affecting the daily meeting.

I don't disagree. (and by the way we did add in extra time for tantrums/floor cleaning, it didn't help)
But the point I was making was

1. It had never occurred to her to work backwards from leaving time to getting up time. No-one had ever shown her that this was how you work out what time you need to get up and what time you need ot leave. Even things like - it takes 15 minutes to walk to school, and gates open at 8:30 and they have to be in class at 8:45. She aimed for 8:45 and not 8:30. Also things like it takes 15 minutes to walk to school so she started to think about coats and shoes 15 minutes before school starts, no, you need to factor in time to get on coats and shoes, and to find lost coats and shoes, so you actually leave the house 15 minutes before school starts.
2. She did not see being on time as a priority, no matter how we looked at it, the priority was never being on time. The priority was leaving the house 'nice' or 'ready' or finishing the job she was doing, the priority was never the place she needed to be (not just for school, but for other appointments too) Because time wasn't the priority, she struggled to use alarms etc because she just ignored them.
3. Despite lots of support and help (not just from me) after 7/8 years, she was still regularly late. The support helped to take it from 30 minutes to 5-10 minutes, but we could never get it so she was more often on time than late.

I am not saying for 1 minute that this was OK. Rather I am just pointing out what sometimes goes through the hea dof people who are late.

I get you're really cross about this but you aren't answering questions.

A large portion of your anger should be pointing at the Managers allowing them to continue doing this, presuming it isn't by agreement, which you seem to say it isn't.

Are their Managers aware?

If yes - be more pissed at them, they're letting it continue
If no - maybe they should be made aware?

In most jobs, chronically late people (with no adjustments being made) would be sacked

What questions?
Manager is fully aware, she is at the meeting every day.

so what does Manager say?

Put jam on a couple of the chairs in the meeting.

Last people in get the sticky jammy chairs

Give it a week and they will be RACING to be first in the meetings

Are they managing to do their jobs correctly even though they miss half the meeting every day, or do they need to ask someone so they can catch up?

Yes you are right and it is another reason why some ND people and some personality types find it hard to stay for any length of time in one role or career. People often throw them on the scrapheap and treat them as good for nothings.

We're only just recognising ND people for their value to society and work than just the annoyances they bring. I say this as someone with moderate stealth dyslexia, not prone to lateness but plenty of other annoying traits people I work with regularly feel the need to point out, tut, and toe tap when I'm on contract as if they are perfection itself.

Everyone has their annoying traits none of us are perfect, chronic lateness is just one of very many.

i think it is fair to acknowledge that some ND people find some situations difficult. And i think it is fair for colleagues and employers to try to find a way that they can handle the regular workload.

If it is not a major inconvenience to have the meetings start 30 minutes later, would that mean they can attend? or maybe it could be hybrid so they can dial in on their phone if they're travelling (and it is safe to do so). That type of thing.

But it might be that in some cases people who cannot be on time simply can't have that job. It sucks. But that is life sometimes.

I do think that in general society could probably do a lot more to make things easier for everyone.

I can't imagine being annoyed by someone else's lateness. Can't you just unclench a little?

i can't imagine wasting so many other people's time and it never occurring to me that it actually costs the company money and is seriously fucking rude.

my boss was too relaxed about latecomers. So i worked out the average cost of 7 of us waiting for 2 people to turn up for 15 minutes a week 52 weeks a year.

And now he insists we are all in the room ready to go when the meeting starts.

Who chairs the meeting? What do they say? They need to do their job better.

I find that generic emails to the team when there are 1 or 2 persistent offenders are a waste of time.

Pull them up directly, make reasonable adjustments if needed and/or use the HR procedure on lateness to effectively manage them.

Start the meeting on time. Record it eg voice note or transcriber stating who was there. Finish on time and tell them to listen to their recording. Their actions won't change unless there are consequences for them