To ask which professions you would avoid

[Ifonlyiwasbeyonce]

Just that really, my ex worked long hours and left the house at 7 and got in at 8pm, sometimes later. I was so lonely and sometimes he would more often than not go out after work. Are there any professions you would avoid?

Anything that involved working more than 40 hours per week. I value time over money.

I was so lonely when the kids were born. Everything would fall on me and it took its toll eventually.

Retail.

I did it for a few months. Never again.

I have 25+ years experience with dementia, learning disabilities, brain injury and conduct disorders. I’ve seen it all.

None of that came close to how bonkers member of the public can be.

Anything I couldn't just abandon at home time. I left my NHS role because of that.

Ironically I now work with animals so it's 24/7 but DH and I own the company so that's not the same.

These days, dentistry. The stress is unbelievable. Wish I'd made a different choice 25 years ago. And I'm "only" a hygienist. I feel for actual dentists just starting out now.

I suppose it depends if you’re very ambitious as long hours is where the money is. I used to be until I had children. It’s just not fair that we have to make that choice.

I couldn’t do any teaching role as I have very little patience.

I wouldn’t do night shifts, I have done a couple for emergency works, but I wouldn’t want to do it all the time.

I don’t fancy the armed forces.

Anything that involves regular weekend work.

Social work or caring professions, I don’t think I have the temperament.

Retail - I have a friend who does this and it sounds exhausting!

So quite a few professions I wouldn’t do! I would say I am quite ambitious and that didn’t change after having children so I didn’t really feel I had to make a ‘choice’.

I think what I am really asking is what professions would you avoid when starting a relationship? Due to them to not being at home enough. I always wondered if I was unreasonable for feeling lonely as I knew he had to work, but that many hours? Really?

Do not marry a Dr

• long hours and antisocial shifts
• having to uproot and go to different parts of the country when the training rotation demands at short notice
• do not expect them to take time off for sick kids or school assemblies
• the pay no longer justifies the pain
• they will attempt to diagnose you and the kids quite possibly wrongly.
• always tired and grumpy from said long hours, stress and witnessing bad stuff at work
• compassion fatigue with regard to any illness you might have.

I am not sure how my husband has put up with me.

that sucks I have always wanted to marry a doctor (regardless of what they look like 🤣) I like the fact that they have put so much effort to become what they are but the reality doesn’t look great 😅

Has it got worse do you think or has it always been stressful?

Anything I viewed as unethical. Working for gambling or tobacco companies for example. Working for Nestle.

I’m a lawyer and it can be long hours (at some firms it can take over your life including holidays and weekends). But I wouldn’t actually encourage people to avoid it but just to understand what they’re getting into. I do sympathise with the spouses of some of the partners at my firm who are expected to fit around their career and barely see them.

But I have the choice now to work very hard at a top firm for £200k + a year or to go in house and work part time 30 hours a week for £50k. I’m somewhere in the middle.

My career enables me to support my children as a single parent. I’m valued at work and have a fair amount of flexibility compared to many much lower paying jobs. I mostly find it interesting.

I think with law and similar professions you can get stuck in a trap of wanting to progress and not wanting to cut your salary for lower pay which leads to stress and longer hours. But there are options within it in a way there wasn’t really in the past.

Surely it’s not about the profession and more about the two of you having different working patterns?

If you both worked 60hrs a week you could potentially see each other more than both working a 40hr week on different shifts?

My husband and I have the same working pattern so we see each other lots (we both do a 50hr week).

Definitely got worse. The risk of being sued, patients expectations, the cost.
I'm earning the same as I was 15 years ago yet patients are paying more (and so moaning at me about the cost despite the fact I've seen none of the extra).
Plus self employed so no sick pay or holiday pay etc.

Consulting. As in business/management consulting.

DH and I are both in that profession (he owns a consultancy firm and I work for a different one) and while it can be very lucrative it can also make you a hostage to extended travel, depending on where the client is located.

We have both had years where we're away as much as at home, including weeks in Asia (or Oz in DH's case) followed by USA a few days after arriving back in the UK.

I suppose you could do the job working only with smaller, less globalised clients, staying mainly in the UK, but then it's not usually as well remunerated.

At least the money means we are very comfortable and able to retire as soon as we want, though...

It's not about the profession. I'm an accountant, some people here work all hours, some don't. Some have their shit together more than others, some are work aholics and don't care that they aren't recognised for it. It's about the person not the profession. No one can make a person work over their contracted hours, that's a choice.

Do you mean which professions you would avoid doing yourself, or avoid dating someone who did them?

Nurse assistant. I love elderly people but wiping behinds would just make me vomit. As would infected wounds, blood etc so not a medical profession if you're squeamish. Bizarrely I don't mind when it's children so I suppose pediatry would be fine.

Pilot. Long hours, days away from family and you need to be really focused.

Sales/retail. Anything where the only goal is to make money. Just don't get my motivation up.

What I would like: Teacher, Social worker, MP, psychologist, educational therapist.. Anything where you feel that you can make a difference in someone's life. That's what gets my motivation up.

Oh, I chose social work but if I could I would like to be a teacher now. Still get to do social work depending on the school:) and I like to find different strategies of learning (SEN child at home so I have learnt on my own).

Anything that involves being a trailing spouse or frequent relocations. Companies just need to stop relocating staff on an endless merry-go-round on the whims of people higher up.

Oh, I misunderstood the topic. Well, I wouldn't marry a pilot or anyone too ambitious thinking money trumps family (when you have a decent living standard ofcourse).

Anything that involves working really long hours/weekends just to put more money in a boss' pocket.

From what I have heard from friends: teaching these days is horribly stressful with a real lack of support from senior management.

I would not recommend working for the third sector: poor pay, bad senior management and a lot of bullying.

When social media came along it gave the general public power as the company believes the customer over the staff . Saw it loads of times where a customer threatened to complain on social
Media if they didn't get their own way and management would back down to the customer.

Don't marry into the Armed forces unless you like constant relocation, can manage everything needed for yourself and children independently, have a job that can be constantly moved and picked up in different locations and can cope with outdated spousal expectations of a rigid institution.

Going by past MN posts and comments, being married to a police officer comes with a higher probability of DV and infidelity.