About neighbours complaining about children's noise

[OnNaturesCourse]

Lived in a terraced house, two shared walls in our living space, one neighbor on one side and new ones on the other. We have suspended floors, and laminate flooring. Despite it being a long term rental I am reluctant to replace the flooring with underlay and carpet.

Our relatively new neighbours have been banging through our shared wall from the first few weeks of them moving in. I always assumed it was DIY/moving noises as at the times there wasn't a lot of noise in my house. Then one night the neighbors came to my door complaining that they were sick of hearing my kids banging around from early morning until night, and that on that particular day they had been hearing it since 7am and it was now 6pm. They also shouted that they were occasional shift workers and I should respect that. I had a problem with the statement about the kids noise having been all day that day as my kids slept until after 8, and were out the house 11am until half 5pm. I explained this but the neighbors refused to accept it and a arguement started to break out. I closed the door in the end as I didn't want shouted at it.

Since then I have been super alert to any noise my kids make, and I have been more aware of any times they are maybe a bit heavy footed or run in the house. I have found myself constantly saying shh, soft feet, don't crawl around and thump, stop playing with certain toys on the floor etc. It got to the point the kids couldn't do anything in the living area and yet the neighbours were still banging through - even sometimes when the kids were actually in bed.

I have invested in a large, thick rug to try and help but apparently it has not.

Now when the kids play upstairs the neighbors occasionally bang through too. Even when they are in the garden the neighbours will loudly announce that they are going inside as the noise makes it impossible to relax.

I am friendly with my other neighbors in the street, and my other joining neighbours love my kids and have stated they rarely hear them in the house. Through these neighbourly relationships I have found out my new neighbours are complaining about us to others and have went as far to say that we have ruined their move and enjoyment of the area.

My kids are 7 and 3, they do make noise I don't deny that but not to the extent where I would think it antisocial even before I put in all the measures I have (new rug, no playing in livingroom, no playing outside after 5pm, quiet toys only in their rooms, alexa and audio no higher than volume 3, no more audio books in the morning in bed etc) They are in bed from, at the latest, 8pm until atleast 7am as standard and will sleep later on weekends.

I'm living in total fear of noise in my own house. It's ridiculous.

My previous neighbor never complained in the 6 years I was here before they left.

Ironically my new neighbors have tradesman in just now for over a week and it sounds like they are bringing the joining wall down, and they have taken to moving furniture in the bedrooms between 10 & midnight. But I just roll my eyes and crack on, I'm in a terraced house I expect some noise from general living next door.

AIBU to expect my neighbors to extend the same curtesy to me? If not what else can I do to keep the noise down but still live normally?

They haw 5 teenage/adult children who don't live at home anymore. None of who made a peep growing up apparently as he could control them... His words. Poor kids, I wonder why his teenagers flew the nest quickly...

I honestly don't know what they are hearing.

Their neighbours on the other side have children that stay occasionally but I don't see how they'd confuse noise sides except maybe in the gardens over the summer.

Our adjoining wall is solid, and I have been told it is a double brick wall with insulation in between. Something to do with how the houses were built there was this fire/safety wall put in every few houses in the rows. I don't know if the brick and gap is making it easier for noise to transfer maybe especially with the suspended flooring

When they complain next, you just have to politely explain to them that you have done all that you can to limit the noise and that if it isn't adequate for them, to take it up with the council (councils do not investigate noise from children).

I can easily believe they are getting worked up about non-existent noise. My former next door neighbour hammered on the door to complain about the noise, and then phoned me up when we didn’t hear her banging.

I took great delight in telling her I couldn’t here her knocking because we were on holiday in Germany, and had been for the past week, so whoever’s baby she was hearing, it certainly wasn’t DS.

Our downstairs neighbour claimed never to hear us, and stroppy NDN used to have loud ABBA karaoke parties in the garden herself until 3am, but apparently we had to suck that up.

Pretty hard for the kids to be making noise when a) they are asleep at the time of the banging or b) they are out at the time being complained about

Or dick neighbours who bang and complain about non existent noise

What, so noisy that the neighbours can hear them even when the kids are not home?

@Saschka

I took great delight in telling her I couldn’t here her knocking because we were on holiday in Germany, and had been for the past week, so whoever’s baby she was hearing, it certainly wasn’t DS.
Fantastic. What did they say??

Good point

we used to live in an old terraced house and a bomb could go off* on one side and you wouldn’t hear it but the other side you could just about make out exactly what people were saying at normal conversational level. So don’t assume that noise is travelling equally.

It sounds like something weird is going on with the acoustics for them to be banging when dc asleep or out - maybe get landlord to liaise with them as it sounds like you’re doing your best and don’t deserve to be shouted at.

*I shouldn’t use the bomb as a metaphor as the terrace was bomb damaged in ww2 and possibly why the soundproofing was variable along the row

I mean be considerate but children and families make noise. That can’t be helped! Don’t tip toe round just be mindful if it’s loads of early or whatever but bloody well live life.

Not much, I’ve never known her admit she was wrong. It was satisfying for me but it didn’t make her turn over a new leaf or anything.

Tell them to go buy a detached house in the middle of nowhere if they want complete silence

Funny that's pretty much what my landlord has said on the matter.

Tenant of over 6 years with no complaints...until they moved in

If there's something about the house's structure that affects the acoustics, it's hard to see what more you could possibly do. I live in a solid brick terrace and sometimes hear the little girl next door (no more often than she hears me bellowing Language at our hooligan ginger tom.) Even councils with a strict approach to noise will tend to take a different view of construction noise, or rowdy parties as opposed to rambunctious children. I would follow the excellent advice given here about keeping a diary of the neighbour's behaviour as it sounds as if it amounts to harassment. How can your children possibly be responsible for noise that happens when they are asleep or not even in the house?