Can EXW claim on new property?!

[jjheights]

Been with my partner for 2.5 years. He's not keen on marriage after being divorced once. He has two children (twins) with his EXW. They are 20. I am CF and never married.

He wants to buy a place together and of course, live together. I am unsure as I'm not sure how well I'd be protected in the event of things going wrong. EXW tried to ask about (for) my payslips and financial status via the courts a while ago. This was later denied much to her frustration. I obviously work and will also be paying equal amounts for a property.

To be clear, there was a financial settlement between them etc... from about 2019. Can she claim on the house in the event of something happening to him? How best do I protect myself?

She has asked that the house go to her children in the event he's no longer here. That would render me homeless, which is clearly insane.

Can she claim on a joint asset? Could I be left without a place to live without the security of marriage?

Gosh! Away and boil her head.

If he is that rich, then I think it moves the goalposts.

What kind of a property are you buying? Something worth £20 million in London or something like that?

Or something worth £1million in a random place.

If he is super rich, then most houses are just peanuts aren't they compared to his wealth? So I don't really understand why wife/kids would care about a property.

Anyway. It sounds like he had better get some legal advice with that much money.

I don't really get it. If he's that loaded, he can buy each of his 20 year old kids a luxury property and they won't need to try and claw back some of the property you'll be living in after his death? Or perhaps he can buy a property and give it to you entirely?

That's true. I don't mind as is - but that could change. My only concern is that I'd be without a place to live if someone else could have a claim to it.

Nope!

Took me a couple of posts to understand.

We are buying in London. The reason I mention the EXW is that she is for some reason - reason that I cannot understand - still asking for more money - which he obliges to - even though the divorce is final. His children are extremely well taken care of, to clarify. Trusts funds for both (twins). But whatever he has, she asks for a stake in, be it Co stock and/or houses. That's a 'him' problem though.

I'd suggest if there's so much money involved (think more than 6 figures) use some of it to get legal advice rather than asking AIBU on mumsnet.

I already have, but that was as recently as Friday. Let's see what comes of it on Monday. Just wanted to hear if anyone else was in a similar position and what their stance/outcome was. That's all. According to the 'money matters' page and 'divorce/separation' page (which I can't seem to post on), it's not so cut and dry - but I am also aware that no two situations are the same.

I know.

Been there. Got the t shirt.

It doesn't happen like this. Girlfriends aren't long term.

When we met, my ex wasn't quite a billionaire. One of his peers, "John" was. John's wife tragically passed. Within 2yrs, John had remarried.

I was still sat there 6yrs later, being mugged off as the oh-so-important gf. To be fair, it's now several years on and he remains unmarried. Although the last time we spoke he suggested he might be open to marriage one day. I'm sure he's lying. And even if not, it's not because he wants it, because he's slowly realising that no one will stay around when you make them second priority to a pile of cash and he doesn't fancy dying alone. Honestly, it's a beautiful but shit way to live.

If OP was a long term prospect, there'd be a proposal by now. These kind of men don't hang around when they see something they truly want. And there certainly wouldn't be weird schemes like "you buy 0.04% of our new £22m place in Antibes sweetie"

How are you feeling about this relationship? Are you prepared for exw poking her nose in your personal lives? Her shadow might become a permanent presence.

So he’s super rich but won’t marry you. I’m assuming you aren’t super rich. So any % you buy of the house will be small. I think I would let him buy the house in just his name, and rent my own house out (or buy to let if you don’t own one already) so you have somewhere to live if it all goes to pot.

And no-one on the internet can tell you.
Mega rich? Pay a solicitor to give you factual advice. Do very rich people often rely on MN when making financial decisions?
I'm poor so I might.

Omg you are such an expert of how the other half live. We are truly blessed to have you share your knowledge

You sound bitter. I am financially comfortable, so only too happy to go halves on a place - because I can. I don't want to live in a place that's fully paid for by someone else. If I paid half, I want to know that said half is always mine - or in the event of something happening, I'd be able to remain in the property. To be clear, if something happened to him, I'd want for the same for him. I do not have children (by choice) and am unmarried (by choice).

Not sure what 'weird scheme' you're referring to, but thankfully it's not my situation.

No one will stick around if you make them a second priority to a pile of cash. My question was simply regarding if someone else could have a claim to a house I'd jointly paid for.

So, he just hands her money whenever she asks, on top of millions already given. For no reason.

But you are expected to buy part of a house that he can purchase ten times over.

"How am I protected if things go wrong" is the least of your woes.

Most sensible advice

Why was she asking for your payslips - were you together while he was settling his divorce?

if it is a final settlement then that’s what it should be - final. That said, I have kept all my paperwork from my divorce just in case any law changes as it cost me a fortune that I would never want to repeat!

It is a literal 50/50 split (as is my wish). The home isn't outrageously expensive. A PP assumed it would be a £20m property - which is ridiculous. It will just be the two of us. It's a flat in N London. P.S. I already own in the same vicinity - and have done so for 14 years.

That is awful about your sister’s children. How can their father do this to them?

No. We met after his divorce was finalised. That's my point. It made no sense given how well-off she is. To be fair, I also thought she wanted to check me out because I had met the children at this point and they were 17 at the time.

But I suspect because I sold a Co at the time - and she wanted my financial info. She can ask - but doesn't mean she would get it. It was denied.

She wanted ALL my financial info (as per my PP). Not just payslips. It was crazy.

Agreed!

I'd be curious about their final order, OP.
If you're going to be sharing finances and a home, you really do need to know what his outgoings to his ex look like because it sure sounds like there is spousal maintenance. Sometimes something called 'global maintenance' is ordered for 3 years. This is a combination of spousal and child maintenance. There's a 3 year cap on it, I am pretty sure. So, even if he is paying global maintenance, it won't be forever. After 3 years, the spousal maintenance gets dropped and payments are reduced because they are simply child maintenance payments until the kids reach a certain age (18 or sometimes later if the children are in full-time higher education).

But my gut is, global maintenance is what he's paying rather than straight-up child support, hence the reason he's seemingly throwing money at his ex.

You should have that difficult discussion with him and talk about his final order (which will show you how the divorce was financially settled). It's not about you saying, "Hey, don't pay that!" but it will help to give you a healthy idea of what those maintenance outgoings look which will help you both budget.

Also, I'm going to reiterate: Do your homework before you buy a property together as an unmarried couple. Promise yourself you'll do the thorough research.

But whatever he has, she asks for a stake in, be it Co stock and/or houses. That's a 'him' problem though.

Why on earth are you getting into a financial commitment with someone who lacks a backbone? You don’t have the protection of marriage so I would be insisting he sorted out his problem first before agreeing to anything financial