To give my 12 year old decaf coffee?

[SweetOneSizeFitsAll]

DD likes the taste and smell of coffee. She has had a few sips or tea spoon full from my cup and has asked to drink coffee as a now and again treat. I'm not sure I should give her caffeinated coffee so have bought some decaf but my sil says I'm poisoning my tween.

What age do people start drinking normal coffee and AIBU to give dd decaf once a week?

I started drinking coffee when I was 12.
Mum was a teacher and we’d get ready for school together.
I asked her one day if I could have a cup of coffee and she said “fine - if you can drink it.”
I could, and I did.
It’s a lovely memory of Mum’s and my days together— and it didn’t harm me and it didn’t stunt my growth.

Calcium also prevents some iron uptake. Did you restrict them from milk too?

DH and I don’t drink coffee. He doesn’t like it, I find it gives me stomach pain, as does coke. I also had some wild dreams on the odd occasion that I had a coffee after dinner.

Because of my reaction to caffeine I did view coffee as something that probably wasn’t ideal for kids. I also held off on them being allowed to drink coke until the high school years. DD18 started drinking coffee with friends when she was about 15. After having some issues with sleeping she now just has one a day - an iced long black no sugar - in the morning which she buys on the way to school. DS16 doesn’t drink tea or coffee but does enjoy a full fat coke every day. I’m quite relaxed about most things but it was just something that felt right to me. I don’t judge other people for doing something different.

Your SIL sounds pious. A coffee before lunchtime should be fine (unless she has a heart condition).
Iced coffee with a splash of condensed milk is a delicious summertime treat for my DS13. When he was younger it was decaffeinated, now he has regular. Cannot say that I have seen coffee effect his behaviour or his well-being in any negative way. He feels terribly grown-up ordering a latte..especially when the server thinks it’s mine. I tend not to restrict too much, it only drives young adults desire to try on the sly.

Get the Swiss water decaf. That is chemical free.

Yes, decafs do have small amounts of caffeine. If I buy a decaf in a coffee shop, I can feel the caffeine hit (I'm very sensitive to caffeine), but the beans I buy for home must have absolutely minimal caffeine, as I don't feel any affects from it whatsoever, I'm drinking one right now and still struggling to keep my eyes open!

Mine has been older before asking but yes I would offer it. And do once in whike offer my 11 yo decaf. And tea. She refuses both.
No worries.

Sounds like food snobbery to me - do whatever feels right to you OP - although I had a cup of regular tea to wake me up from a very young age - but Irish upbringing.

I've been giving my DS milky decaf in an espresso size cup since he was 7-8. I think it's fine. Dd1 has been drinking milky decaf tea since she was 3!

Yes only decaffeinated. X

With certain processing methods there will be trace amounts of non-coffee chemicals left. Required to be below a certain limit, but I see why people prefer Swiss water decaf - it's not like it's harder to get.

https://www.consumerreports.org/coffee/is-decaffeinated-coffee-bad-for-you/

There's one called TrueStart coffee that is really good

I’m not really sure what the issue is with having normal coffee? There is nothing wrong with caffeine consumption in moderation- as long as it’s not from those energy drinks full of crap!

My DC are in their mid 20s now and their secondary sold coffee in the school canteen and they were regularly out for coffee work friends etc.

I have to say I do think the increased infantilisation of teens is not helpful and is not allowing then to develop independence and decision-making skills. It is no coincidence we now have the unhappiest teens in Europe.

My 13 year old loves coffee, always has. He used to try and minesweep any mugs left in the kitchen as a toddler.
He's like me though and finds it makes him sleepy so is careful when he drinks it.

Why not. There's caffeine in chocolate and people give that to toddlers.

My 11yo ds has recently started having the ocassional decaf coffee.

My child has had decaf tea from about 7

I'd say one normal coffee a day would be fine, much better than fizzy drinks full of aspartame, or energy drinks. Ideally in the morning so doesn't affect sleep.

YABU. Give them proper coffee. DS13 has had real coffee (not that instant muck) every morning since he was 11 - he started nicking ours when he was 8.

A decaf coffee even full of chemicals is fine once in a while ffs.

Well this thread is a relief. DS13 likes a coffee in the morning and I was a bit worried we'd be judged by other people! It was reassuring when staying with friends who are Italian as each of their children came down and made espresso! They were about 11 and 13 respectively!

Does she mean ultra processed? Because all non-raw food is processed…

Unless she is making her own, fruit tee is also a processed food. As is fruit squash, many breads, all chocolate and sweets.

Black tea is less processed than fruit teas, most of which contain flavourings.

If you'r eparticularly worried about the UPF factor, make filter coffee. It's just coffee beans, ground. definitely not UPF.

@IdLikeToBeAFraser

I find some of the pearl clutching about DC never being allowed a drop of coffee pretty extraordinary tbh. It is coffee- not crack cocaine!

As far as I’m concerned DC need to be allowed to develop their own tastes and battles should be saved for issues that actually matter. I would have an issue with them having energy drinks regularly given the crap they contain, but there’s absolute nothing wrong with having coffee with breakfast.

DS's secondary school (11-16) has coffee in the canteen so they clearly aren't bothered about it.