To pull DD out of drama group

[Hmmmmnotconvinced]

DD (6) has recently auditioned for a local panto am-dram village hall type thing.

A few of her mates are doing it with her.

The lady running it from the start has had a slightly chaotic communication style, for example sending me messages full of random information in response to my simple questions about which part my DD had been given, like names and surnames of all of the kids who’d been given main parts (kids I didn’t know). Also forgetting to add various parents to the Panto watsapp group and expecting other members to relay information.

In the audition, the kids were given scripts full of dense text they’d never seen before and were literally sung at by the adults auditioning them with no context, just sung at.

They weren’t given any direction about what to do so obviously just stood there!

There was one part where the ladies auditioning the kids snatched their scripts out of their hands having just given them to them and said “you don’t need this now do you?” At one point they started dancing quite a complicated piece of choreography and shouted “come on, join in”, but hadn’t broken the steps down in to small chunks to teach them, so the girls were a bit taken aback.

The husband of the lady auditioning the children sort of laughed at how motionless the kids were but I completely understood the kids reaction as they weren’t being dealt with in an age appropriate way which would bring out the best in them.

Late one Saturday night before a 2nd audition that the children were invited to attend the morning after, the parents were emailed an amended script for the children to familiarise themselves with (it was bedtime at this point so no way my DD could have scrolled for ages at the large amounts of text despite being a great reader!)

At the 2nd audition the ladies auditioning the 6 year olds were asking them if they would be free for a few hours every Sunday in November and December Again, the kids didn’t know what to say as they don’t organise their schedules and know when they’ll be available in November!

A few weeks went past and we had heard nothing from the audition. I eventually text the lady running it and asked if my DD had been given a part and she said yes and told me that I should have known that. I asked if I’d missed an email but she didn’t reply.

Yesterday the children went to the first rehearsal. One of the children’s grandparents stayed for the duration of the rehearsal while we were told in the group watsapp to collect the children at 3pm.

At half past 2 DH and I received missed calls from the father of one of DD’s friends and when we called back he said that the rehearsal was over and that my DD, her friend and their other friend had been taken to the park nearby with DDs friend’s grandmother because the rehearsal finished sooner than they expected.

I work in education and my safeguarding alarm bells were ringing off the wall!
why had DD and her friend been given to their other friend’s grandmother to hold on to?

I sent the lady running the pantomime a screen shot of the time she’d sent me saying 3pm pick up and asked that she send us a schedule in future of rehearsal times to help us plan. she just casually said that the rehearsal had come to an end quicker than they thought it would. In my mind they should have called me at this point, not allowed my DD to be taken to a park with a random old lady in the rain!

When DD returned home, I asked how the rehearsal went and she said that in all of the hours she was there, her and her friends just had 3 minutes worth of doing anything and the rest was just sitting there doing nothing.

I asked DD if she wanted to quit and she said no because she likes seeing her friends and she wants to be on stage again (she’s been in a very professionally run production and has loved it. This is the first ropey one) I think I need to pull her out of it now because I don’t feel that proper safeguarding is understood by any of the adult members.

The tricky thing is that one of my friends is on the committee of adults running it, and she tends to get really angry if people quit when she’s worked hard to organise something creatively which I understand so think it’ll be better for DD to quit now rather than further down the line. I also just don’t feel they understand that children aged 6 need to be occupied!

AIBU?

Report to Children in entertainment department at local council.

Lesson learned. You should have talked safeguarding right at the start. I'm glad your DD suffered nothing more than boredom and bemusement.

Have you spoken to the parents of the other children? The organiser really needs to get with the programme when it comes to child safety and welfare, maybe she needs to hear it from all the parents involved.

Dear me. Unacceptable. And I do volunteer, I'm a girl guiding leader, but that doesn't mean that merely because I'm a volunteer I don't have any responsibilities when it comes to the young people in my care. I've got a disclosure, I've done several safeguarding courses that have to be renewed, first aid, risk assessment training, various other stuff, strict processes to follow and paperwork/admin to do. Totally bonkers that this setup has apparently nothing in place at all.

My teens go to a similar panto group but they are quite strict about the youngsters - e.g. under 18s aren't allowed in the kitchen of the village hall even to fill up water / when rehearsal finished early, a few adults waited with DD (age 17) until we collected her. It was dark, but I suspect they might have waited even if it was daytime.

YANBU to take your DD out if they aren't safeguarding her.

I would consider having a look for other drama groups in the area, for example our local theatre runs classes for children at a much lower cost than Stagecoach etc. Likewise there are drama classes in community centres at a similar cost. There is a middle ground.

Good god no. My 6 year old has just started a youth theatre group run by our local panto dame, and has completely the opposite experience. His dad went to pick him up afterwards and despite being on the paperwork they still phoned me to check as prior to that they'd only dealt with me.

The organiser said to my friend that the reason he started it was in part an answer to his own youth theatre experiences - over exposure to certain things at a young age, over worked hours, chaotic organisation and kids being out at risk. He didn't want kids to go through what he did.

Trust your gut, it sounds like it's trying to tell you something. I think you need to send a timeline of events and any evidence of the interactions to your LADO at your local council. They oversee all of the local organisations that work with children.

You absolutely did the right thing in removing your daughter. This response to safeguarding problems is appalling. Regardless of her 40 year with no problem and the grandmother assuring you she took "responsibility" for your child, it stinks!! Imagine for a second that your daughter had an accident on the slide at the park, the grandmother had no idea how to contact you or be able to give consent for an operation. She had no idea if she had allergies, other specific needs like being diabetic etc. She also didn't have your permission to take her off site and your child is too young to look after herself, if the grandmother suddenly became unwell and incapable, or to know where she was and get home alone.

As a previous poster said, there are contracts that children have to sign that details how they must be looked after and safeguards their welfare during performance and training. I believe that they also have to be registered as actors.

I understand that this might be a lovely lady trying to do something nice for the local kids but I really would think carefully and consider reporting it to the local authorities, especially if there's other kids of a similar age there. Groups like this are prime places for predators to target because of the lack of security. Even without that happening, there's serious risks to them in the way this is being run right now. The lady running the group doesn't seem to care about the legal requirements for running the group and doesn't want to change. Imagine how you will feel if something does happen to one of the other kids.