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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think acknowledging this member of staff and saying thank you takes seconds. What would you have done?

58 replies

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/09/2024 14:08

I am at a large train station in the waiting room and a member of staff has just come in to let people know of a general change of timetable and a replacement bus service for one of the main services. He did this as a general announcement and not one person acknowledged him. Afterwards he kind of stood there a bit awkwardly before leaving. So not to drip feed he appeared to be at least partially blind and perhaps couldn't see people well. Most people here are on their own and not many have ear buds /headphones on as far as I can see so being engrossed in conversation or not hearing him isn't relevant to most

I just think it doesn't hurt to say thank you. A couple of people got up to leave after this in the direction of where the bus would be departing from so looks like this was at least helpful for them.

Would you expect people to say thank you / acknowledge you in this situation or would you expect to be ignored? I know we don't thank airline staff when they do the safety demo either so maybe saying thank you isn't the done thing. But when he stood there awkwardly afterwards, saying thank you just felt like what should happen.

Edit. I did thank him. I was the only one who did

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AtmosAtmos · 15/09/2024 15:05

If it was not my train I wouldn’t thank him as probably tune out after the words “the 3pm” .. if my train is 3.25.

if it was my train I might thank him or be preoccupied thinking about calls I need to make, how much longer the journey is etc.

thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 15:06

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AddictedToBooks · 15/09/2024 15:12

I would have thanked him, even if it was bad news for me. It's not his fault and he would have given me vital information if my train was being replaced by a bus service.
To be honest, it wouldn't cross my mind NOT to thank him - regardless of whether he "was doing what he's paid to do" or not. He's only human after all and a bit of politeness/acknowledgement goes a long way.

Mountainpika · 15/09/2024 15:25

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But if it's not a personal service, eg a bus ride - getting off a bus - surely it's basic courtesy to thank the driver. Never thank anyone for doing something unless it's specifically for you?

thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 15:28

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thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 15:31

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sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/09/2024 16:02

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Just to make it clear that there was no " bad news" as such. The bus replacement service was an all day thing due to engineering works. This info was available all day on posters and I presume online. The change in timetables was announced as a general seasonal change rather than a last minute thing. I had a lengthy delay as my first train was late so I missed my connection and had a longish wait for the next.

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starfishmummy · 15/09/2024 16:32

Woukd you expect someone waiting for a different train to stop what they are doing and thank him? Because presumably you don't know which people would be waiting for the train he mentioned

Choochoo21 · 15/09/2024 16:36

I would thank him but that’s because I’m quite confident in speaking in front of a crowd.

My DD would have just nodded and smiled though because she isn’t as confident.

I think most people in that situation would have probably just smiled or acknowledged with body language, especially as someone else had thanked him.

People don’t usually all thank one person if others have already done it.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/09/2024 16:36

starfishmummy · 15/09/2024 16:32

Woukd you expect someone waiting for a different train to stop what they are doing and thank him? Because presumably you don't know which people would be waiting for the train he mentioned

If you read my last post you will see most of it was general information for everyone. And saying thank you, even distractedly while you scroll on your phone etc is better than ignoring someone, at least in my book.

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sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/09/2024 16:37

Choochoo21 · 15/09/2024 16:36

I would thank him but that’s because I’m quite confident in speaking in front of a crowd.

My DD would have just nodded and smiled though because she isn’t as confident.

I think most people in that situation would have probably just smiled or acknowledged with body language, especially as someone else had thanked him.

People don’t usually all thank one person if others have already done it.

I think it was trickier as he appeared to be at least partially sighted so those nods etc may not be noticed. But ordinarily I think that would be fine.

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Onwardsandsidewaysyetagain · 15/09/2024 16:41

If someone made an announcement to a crowd, I probably wouldn't thank them. I wouldn't expect thanks either when I've made announcements (not in this context). It's different if you spent time interacting with someone one on one, or even getting on and off a bus, but if someone makes a generic announcement 'to the room' then no, I wouldn't personally thank them most likely, and I'm a friendly person who thanks people a lot!

I also don't find people rude or horrible when travelling as someone just said, I find the staff generally quite pleasant and even some passengers, I needed help with something recently and two people stopped to help me. I think the 'whole world is so nasty and rude' isn't true, although I don't doubt a few sections of it are a bit meaner or ruder than they mean to be.

Onwardsandsidewaysyetagain · 15/09/2024 16:42

I meant 'used to be'.

I travel quite a lot and people are rude in some areas of the country, but lots are courteous, most held the lift open for others as well.

I'm finding people nicer at the moment, perhaps the Covid gloom is lifting a bit, or perhaps we are so desperate for human contact, I'm not sure.

zingally · 15/09/2024 16:56

Hmmm... I don't think saying a pointed "thank you" for doing a part of your job AND giving customers information that's likely going to cause them delays and additional stress, is particularly needed.
It's like leaning out of your car window to trill a cheery "thank you!" to the men digging up the road that have caused me to sit in a queue for the past 15 minutes. If anything, it might even sound a bit sarcastic.

He likely hovered a moment to see if anyone had any immediate questions. Not stood waiting for effusive thanks.

PolePrince55 · 15/09/2024 17:02

I'm not sure I'd thank him if it was a general announcement 🤷‍♀️
I do have good manners x

thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 17:21

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sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/09/2024 17:24

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If I am in the general vicinity and catch their eye then absolutely

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AgileGreenSeal · 15/09/2024 17:27

Of course I would thank him.

RawBloomers · 15/09/2024 17:28

I think a nod or eye contact is the most I’d give in that situation and I wouldn’t have done that if I was in the middle of something.

It sounds a bit like you’re upset at the other passengers because the worker hung around awkwardly and you feel for the worker and want the other passengers to have put him at ease. So you are wanting them to have done more. But that isn’t their role. The announcer needs to develop a more professional approach where his confidence in his role doesn’t rely on passenger enthusiasm. And he probably will. This sounds like a classic new-at-the-job sort of situation.

Demonhunter · 15/09/2024 17:31

I think some people are just naturally rude, entitled or thoughtless. Maybe it's just how you've been brought up? I always say thanks to anyone though, I even say thanks to self checkout staff on my way out even if they haven't personally helped me. It's just a natural thing.

BlueberrySkye · 15/09/2024 17:36

I don’t think it would occur to me to thank someone delivering a general announcement like that. Especially if I already had the information. I might nod to acknowledge their presence.

StarSlinger · 15/09/2024 17:40

Maybe because you thanked him the other people thought there was no need for a chorus of thanks from them?

thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 17:52

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thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 17:53

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thatlastonereally · 15/09/2024 17:55

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