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Original poster

To sleep with someone

72 replies

Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 07:02

I'll try to be brief.

So I'm not 100% sure of their relationship, they call each other cousins though so let's go with that. But my ex husbands cousin is into me, I didn't pick up on it at first but I was telling a friend about the conversations and actions and he pointed out that the cousin is definitely interested, he ask me why I didn't do anything when we visited the cousin a few weeks ago.

I said I hadn't even thought of it, I guess it's because I have always put myself down and thought I'm not good enough and my ex husband leaving me just confirmed that in my eyes.

Then he messaged the cousin asking how he was, told him we were having drinks to catch up, the cousin said to say hi to me with a winky face and a kiss, which apparently confirms he's into me - coming from a man.

Anyway my friend invited him to come over and stay and we can all catch up, he's coming in a couple of weeks.

But since my friend told me the cousin is attracted to me I can't get him out of my head, he is VERY attractive (I guess I just never thought anything of being attracted to him)

I'm old though, the cousin is about 18 years younger than me, and however close of distant, a relative of my ex husband.

Is it wrong to sleep with him? Just as a one off, if he even wants to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 19:38

Sorry I don't know how to reply properly to everyone, but thank you to everyone who has commented so far, I will go through them all and read properly at some point.

Obviously just to some people saying about sleeping with him being wrong and causing drama and all of that, I don't even know that he does want to sleep with me, but I am an overthinker, obviously if we were to meet up and if he is attracted to me there's a possibility it could lead to that, and my brain wants to know if it's right or wrong before I even entertain this idea further

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 20:04

Just4thisthreadtoday · 15/09/2024 08:12

@Idontkknowwhattodo

there's nothing wrong with having sex with an Ex's (maybe) cousin.

theres nothing wrong with having sex with a much younger bloke (though if sexes were reversed you'd get all kinds of nasty comments).

But im not sure this is going to be good for you?

you can always say no on the night though, don't feel pressured into having sex with him!

id personally hate the 'set up' feel to it. I prefer things to be much more 'natural'

Yes I agree I prefer a more natural set up than everyone staging something

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 20:08

ItsAShame2 · 15/09/2024 08:01

This - it’s all very odd - your ex’s younger cousin being into you. You say your confidence is damaged - I am worried this will make it worse due to his link to your social circle. I am also worried that they are going to take advantage of your vulnerable place at the moment. If he was not linked to you I would not worry as much.

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I do have a very limited social circle 😔 this is the problem it is possible it's some sort of set up, although I'm just wondering if they all know it's hard for me at the moment and perhaps understanding those vulnerabilities in some way think it's easier for me to get back out there with someone I sort of know (don't actually know the cousin that well)

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 20:41

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/09/2024 08:41

Sounds grim and a recipie for drama.......but I'm feeling from your post that you might quite like that.

Can I ask why you feel like I might quite like drama?

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 15/09/2024 21:04

There is every chance it's my friend getting the wrong end of the stick, or it's some kind of plotting to see where I'm at by my ex husband and his family (like finding out what I'm up to - ex husband has asked me before if I'm dating)

Then why are you even contemplating this!!

If there was even the tiniest chance that this was some sort of set up then I wouldn’t go anywhere near him.

There are so many men out there.
Don’t go for one that could cause you drama!

MildredSauce · 15/09/2024 21:41

Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 20:08

I do have a very limited social circle 😔 this is the problem it is possible it's some sort of set up, although I'm just wondering if they all know it's hard for me at the moment and perhaps understanding those vulnerabilities in some way think it's easier for me to get back out there with someone I sort of know (don't actually know the cousin that well)

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@Idontkknowwhattodo you think it would be easier to get back in the saddle with a relative of your ex husband who is young enough to be your son?

Just.... no. No. Noooooooo. Nononononono.

And if your male "friend" is telling you this, then it's bollocks. Big sweaty, hairy ones.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 15/09/2024 22:43

Idontkknowwhattodo · 15/09/2024 20:08

I do have a very limited social circle 😔 this is the problem it is possible it's some sort of set up, although I'm just wondering if they all know it's hard for me at the moment and perhaps understanding those vulnerabilities in some way think it's easier for me to get back out there with someone I sort of know (don't actually know the cousin that well)

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Oh crikey.
It's not a group decision situation.
A genuine connection is what you need, not some kind of intervention to ease you back in the game with someone whose interest may be based on family politics.
This has got 'things I lived to regret' written all over it

GivingitToGod · 15/09/2024 22:56

Sex on the night if he wants to? You clearly have low self esteem OP and this will lower it further. You aren't talking about having a drink with someone 'who might be in to you'; you are talking about intimate sex

GivingitToGod · 15/09/2024 23:00

MildredSauce · 15/09/2024 21:41

@Idontkknowwhattodo you think it would be easier to get back in the saddle with a relative of your ex husband who is young enough to be your son?

Just.... no. No. Noooooooo. Nononononono.

And if your male "friend" is telling you this, then it's bollocks. Big sweaty, hairy ones.

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Spot on

Original poster
Idontkknowwhattodo · 17/09/2024 08:02

GivingitToGod · 15/09/2024 22:56

Sex on the night if he wants to? You clearly have low self esteem OP and this will lower it further. You aren't talking about having a drink with someone 'who might be in to you'; you are talking about intimate sex

I didn't say sex on the night if he wants to

OP posts:
LondonFox · 17/09/2024 13:38

Stixk · 15/09/2024 08:06

Ewww. Never heard of that either.
very degrading.

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Why degrading?
There is a lot of poses you can do during sex.
In some of them you get dicked down, in some of them you ride the bloke.
And there is nothing degrading about that.
I would recommend using energy of a youthfull one for laying on your back and letting him do the work ;)

DesigningWoman · 17/09/2024 13:42

LondonFox · 17/09/2024 13:38

Why degrading?
There is a lot of poses you can do during sex.
In some of them you get dicked down, in some of them you ride the bloke.
And there is nothing degrading about that.
I would recommend using energy of a youthfull one for laying on your back and letting him do the work ;)

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The idea of ‘sex poses’ is cracking me up. Particularly of thinking in terms of Corpse.

GalileoHumpkins · 17/09/2024 13:46

in some of them you ride the bloke

So, getting dicked up then?

LondonFox · 17/09/2024 13:48

GalileoHumpkins · 17/09/2024 13:46

in some of them you ride the bloke

So, getting dicked up then?

Obviously not bcs you are doing the hard work.
Did you ever had sex?

Comedycook · 17/09/2024 13:49

Do you have children with your ex husband? If you do, then no I wouldn't. It will be too drama filled and messy and you don't want that if you're co parenting and have to be in each others lives.

If you don't...then why not!

GalileoHumpkins · 17/09/2024 13:55

LondonFox · 17/09/2024 13:48

Obviously not bcs you are doing the hard work.
Did you ever had sex?

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No, not once.

StormingNorman · 17/09/2024 13:57

No. Steer clear.

This was all I needed to read; the rest is just waffle…

So I'm not 100% sure of their relationship, they call each other cousins though so let's go with that. But my ex husbands cousin is into me,

ItGhoul · 17/09/2024 14:28

This reply has been deleted

This is the work of a previously banned poster.

TillyKister · 17/09/2024 14:55

LondonFox · 15/09/2024 07:16

As long as 18y younger than you is above 18, go for it.
Nothing wrong getting dicked down by a young bloke that may or may not be related to your husban. It's not your close relative.

Dicked down????

Ewww what a truly revolting expression 🤢

GivingitToGod · 17/09/2024 17:53

Idontkknowwhattodo · 17/09/2024 08:02

I didn't say sex on the night if he wants to

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Sorry

LondonFox · 17/09/2024 19:49

TillyKister · 17/09/2024 14:55

Dicked down????

Ewww what a truly revolting expression 🤢

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Why?

elegantlygloved · 17/09/2024 22:07

Perhaps find a toy-boy who isn't related to your ex?

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