Uni first week | Mumsnet

Phase2 · 14/09/2024 21:31

I'm sorry you are, but no. It's been a long road for us and I didn't think they would be here, and if they were, they wouldn't be independent. So I'm over the moon and terrified

mbosnz · 14/09/2024 21:58

Not yet, eldest DD off for her third year today, youngest DD off for her first next weekend.

I'm interested to see how I am next weekend!

Projectme · 14/09/2024 22:09

Oh bless you. It is a tough time but it does get easier.
DS22 off for his final year and Dd19 off for her 2nd year. The house is gonna be quiet that's for sure.

Can you use the time to find things you enjoy doing? You need to fill the time with things for you. New hobby?

Make plans to visit or for them to come home for a long weekend if their lectures allow.

angstypant · 14/09/2024 22:23

Phase2 · 14/09/2024 21:31

I'm sorry you are, but no. It's been a long road for us and I didn't think they would be here, and if they were, they wouldn't be independent. So I'm over the moon and terrified

Whatever the journey was I am glad to hear it seems to be going well

Pigeonqueen · 14/09/2024 22:25

I promise it gets better. When dd went off I cried non stop for about a month 🙈 I was really awful to be around and felt like a huge hole had been left in our lives. Really, really depressed.

Now 3 years on I have just waved her off to start her masters and I’m actually quite relieved to have the house back to myself again 🙈🤣 - never, ever would have thought that when I was driving back down the dual carriageway crying my eyes out after I dropped her off years ago.

You’ll be okay. It’s weird and different but your relationship will change and become closer in different ways.

Fuckthecamelyourodeinon · 14/09/2024 22:27

No. Relieved. I'm tired of tiptoeing around a moody teenager who doesn't appreciate what we do for him and treated the house like a hotel. We all just need to move on and he needs to grow up and act like the adult he wants to be.

Phase2 · 14/09/2024 22:29

@angstypant thank you, yes cautious cheer in the house today x

Alli88 · 14/09/2024 22:34

Fuckthecamelyourodeinon · 14/09/2024 22:27

No. Relieved. I'm tired of tiptoeing around a moody teenager who doesn't appreciate what we do for him and treated the house like a hotel. We all just need to move on and he needs to grow up and act like the adult he wants to be.

Wow I'm not surprised your teen isn't happy at home. I bet he's over the moon to be away from you!

ShamblesRock · 14/09/2024 22:35

Ask me in two weeks time. She seems to be one of the last to go off.

I think it will actually be my youngest (12) who will be the most upset.

ShamblesRock · 14/09/2024 22:37

Alli88 · 14/09/2024 22:34

Wow I'm not surprised your teen isn't happy at home. I bet he's over the moon to be away from you!

Show quote history

Do you have a teenager?

Mine's ok, but I could see how this point could be reached. glares at 12 year old

Wtafdidido · 14/09/2024 22:43

It is very tough. Mine has never been away from me for more than 7 nights and has been super anxious. To make it worse he is across the water. We took him and saying goodbye was awful as he was having a real crisis of confidence about whether he could do it. Add to that the halls of residence were nothing like the pictures and he was one of the first to arrive so was the only one in his pod. 🫤 3 days on and he is finding his feet and I am the one wobbling and missing him - his siblings less so! I think being at such a distance and for the first time not being nearby if there is a problem is my issue but so long as he is happy I am and he knows 100% that if he decides it is not for him we will support him and bring him home. I am however confident he will cope as he is amazing!

Twidget · 14/09/2024 22:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

Fuckthecamelyourodeinon · 14/09/2024 22:48

@Alli88 he's been independent for the last two years so he's ready for this. And I'm not going to miss the weekly emails from college telling me how many lessons he didn't bother to turn up for this week, nor the wondering if he's coming home today or not. He knows he's loved and I can do no more.

thekrakenhasgone · 14/09/2024 22:54

No - I'm just overwhelmingly pleased that DS got his grades and onto his first choice course. I'm not going to guilt trip him by getting really upset about him leaving home. Of course, I'll miss him hugely but I'll keep that private. Good luck DS - you bloody worked hard for it .

RuthW · 14/09/2024 22:57

It's hard for a few weeks but it gets better.

crumblingschools · 14/09/2024 22:58

@thekrakenhasgone don’t think OP has said she has fallen apart in front of DC

pinkstripeycat · 14/09/2024 23:00

Yes. We are already in the university town. Dropping him off tomorrow. I can’t sleep. His dad has been snoring since 9pm. He doesn’t get it.

I’m happy and excited for my boy but am going to miss him so much. He has been on the phone to his brother (who is at home) for the last 2hrs so they are going to miss each other. There’s 12 months between them so they haven’t really spend much time apart.

Ohjustalittle · 14/09/2024 23:10

I'll let you know tomorrow when I've dropped him off. Not my first one to fly the nest but he's my last. I'm so proud and excited for him. I've got a ton of mixed emotions to be honest, but they'll settle down. Big thing for me is I've never lived alone, ever. So it will be strange and quite liberating too.

Makingchocolatecake · 15/09/2024 07:55

I thought this was written by the student so never mind.

MargaritaPracticallyCan · 15/09/2024 08:18

Younger DS went into his first year early Sept, older DS left last week, took some stuff he couldn't fit in his car over to him this weekend. Both gone! Bit of a weird time as my beloved mum died in June after a very short, unexpected illness so it feels like a lot of people moving on all at once. DH is on a long-ish overseas work trip too. Just me and Ddog now! Going to join the gym again and plan in lots of stuff to fill in the void - excited for DCs and so, so proud of them - but the silence is very weird...

HermioneWeasley · 15/09/2024 08:27

@Pigeonqueen that’s good to hear, thank you for sharing.

dropped our eldest off yesterday and it was so hard coming home without him knowing he doesn’t live here any more.

PinotPony · 15/09/2024 08:41

Nope. I was more concerned when he was travelling around South East Asia.

thoroughlypickled · 15/09/2024 09:06

You'll be ok.

I've seen two off to uni, they've both lived away ever since. Best thing to do is keep yourself busy - clear out cupboards, do some decorating/gardening, join some new clubs/spend more time doing hobbies, voluntary work. Anything that keeps you busy and keeps your mind off it!

Make plans to see them - we used to meet up halfway for a day out/lunch sometimes as a change from us going there/them coming home.

GetDownkeith · 15/09/2024 09:13

Dropped ds off yesterday. He’s a quiet anxious person and I’m so worried about him while also being so proud of him. He has never been away from me for more than a few nights, never wanted sleep overs because he was anxious so this is a huge step for him and I’m so excited for the experience he’s about to have.
Dh, ds2 and I stayed in a hotel last night so will see him for lunch before we go and I will have a good cry in the car on the way home.
I just hope he makes friend!!

PolaroidPrincess · 15/09/2024 09:16

GetDownkeith · 15/09/2024 09:13

Dropped ds off yesterday. He’s a quiet anxious person and I’m so worried about him while also being so proud of him. He has never been away from me for more than a few nights, never wanted sleep overs because he was anxious so this is a huge step for him and I’m so excited for the experience he’s about to have.
Dh, ds2 and I stayed in a hotel last night so will see him for lunch before we go and I will have a good cry in the car on the way home.
I just hope he makes friend!!

If I can give you one piece of advice it's to try and hold on to that crying do that it's not in front of DC2. If they're at all anxious like DC1 it might influence the decisions they make about their education or give them guilt about the choices they do make