Abusive ex moved directly opposite me

[Wifispy]

Am I being unreasonable to feel very uncomfortable with my ex moving directly across the road from me? He moved out over a year ago due to his behaviour with the children (aggressive, shouting, some physical harm) and lived a street away which was bad enough. He was very controlling and coercive towards me during our relationship, and has continued this in recent months, mostly over wanting to be allowed back into the house or have unsupervised access to the kids (I'm not happy about this because there have been further incidents where he has hurt them).

He can see into my house from his new place, he will know all of our movements, when the house is empty, when I'm alone etc. I'm a bit afraid of what he might do, especially as we're disagreeing about contact with the kids. I've stared the process for occupation and non mol orders. What else can I do? I can see him moving his stuff, I feel sick.

Were the police or SS involved with all the previous incidents?
If so, I would contact them asking if they have the power to do anything, could this move be considered harassment?

SS were involved but I don't think they'd care about this

I feel harassed but I don't know whether it actually constitutes harassment

Well find out then

I would view this as stalking.

You need to be proactive and act now, rather than thinking you wouldn't be taken seriously.

You need to speak to the police and report it as stalking. I would also discuss risk of family annihilation.

Absolutely get a non-mol, preferably with an exclusion distance further than where he is living.

Does he own the house or rent it?

Thanks, getting advice from the police seems like a reasonable step

@Wifispy if this is council, ask them to rehouse you as a matter of urgency!! you do not feel safe!!

I own my house so am stuck here

Get opaque film for all your front facing windows. It lets the light in but he can't see directly in. If possible add bolts to the external doors. Make sure you have a ring door bell. Whilst this may seem over kill and like you're letting him win I would do it for peace of mind.
Definitely report to the police particularly regarding his behaviour and your fears he might harm the children.
I think the Suzy Lamlugh trust might help as well as this would count as stalking I feel.

www.suzylamplugh.org

No wonder you're frightened of all the houses in your town/city he picks one right opposite, that's been done with intimidation in mind.
Hope the police,ss can help.

Yes we have mirror film on our front windows (for the cats to enjoy bird watching).

Also a door camera onto your path/front of your house.

He knows the effect this is having on you.

Get advice from social services and the police but boost your own security in the meantime.

I wouldn't bother with ring doorbells as they only record when activated.

I'd install a couple of cameras that record continously - TP Link for example - and put memory cards in and sign up to cloud storage as a backup.

Try not to follow a strict routine of leaving/coming back etc and make sure you have new locks on the doors. If the windows lock, use them and put a chain on the front door.

This might all act as a deterrent but will hopefully give you some peace of mind as it's more than likely unnecessary but is worth having just in case.

Thanks for the advice, boosting security sounds like a good idea, and definitely getting nets/window covers where there aren't any. Too creepy. It's not normal behaviour is it? He's convinced me that so many things I think are black are white in the past that I doubt my own judgement.

He also made a malicious report to SS last week, which they dismissed after a short phone call - I feel scared of what's next.

Can you leave from the back of your property even if it then means walking around the front?

Yes mirror film and nets.

Cameras at the back of your property now.

Rights of Women can advise on a non-molestation.

You need to move house and not tell him where you’ve gone

More evidence to the police and for non-mol.

Absolutely say to the police you are worried about family annihilation, I man who truly loves his DC would NOT behave like this.

This is textbook loss of control anger and rage.

I would speak to the police for advice.

Perhaps they can have a word with him not to approach you or the children outside of scheduled contact.

perhaps they could also speak to his landlord if he is renting & ask them not to renew

Best of luck. I doubt this is coincidental and he is seeking to intimidate you.

He’s an absolute creep. Notifying the police is a good idea, and noting down any creepy behaviour. Even staring can be harassment.

CCTV as suggested is a great idea.

If he attempts to interact with you, tell him you will call the police if he ever does so again, and do that.

None of his behavior is normal, OP. Take all the safety precautions and if he so much as steps foot on your property call the police.

I would get a ring camera or cctv or similar type product for both the front and back for if he approaches the door, it can record when and what happens

Police and social services - contact ASAP. You've had good advice here.

Does he still see his dc?

Log a police report - and every time he does anything
Get a ring doorbell or similar / CCTV