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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset at friend

60 replies

Shesnotelectric · 13/09/2024 22:52

First time posting sorry if it’s long!
Been friends for few years and quite close. Meet up quite often (weekly/fortnightly sometimes more) usually at events as we have a mutual obsession.
About a month ago arranged to meet friend at an event (weekend just gone) arranged for breakfast together as usual all seemed fine.
About 2/3 weeks ago friend went quiet on contact. Didn’t think too much of it as not unusual and he doesn’t always confirm until day before or even on the day which is fine thats how he rolls.
Anyway I get to the event and he is there with a group of mutual friends of ours, went for breakfast with them and was having dinner with them that evening.
I am upset as we usually do this and I am normally included if other mutual friends are going along too but it was as if he totally forgot about me! He didn’t speak to me much other than hello and I haven’t heard from him at all since although he has seen DH and not said theres anything up. I know it’s childish but feel like I have been ‘ditched’
DH says I am overthinking as friend has never done anything like this before and has no reason to.
AIBU to feel upset?

OP posts:
JacquelineShit · 16/09/2024 18:16

Shesnotelectric · 15/09/2024 22:35

So he finally contacted me after two missed calls from me.
He admitted to getting drunk a few weeks back and telling a mutual friend that he has feelings that he shouldn’t about me. He is now worried mutual friend may blab to the whole group about it and obviously we are both married.
How the hell am I supposed to handle this?!
It’s not a case of simply cutting him off as will still have to be in close contact as he is the manager of a club one of my children attend and I am involved in the catering department. I don’t feel it would be fair to pull my child out and the nearest other club is 2 hours away!

How was this phone call left, and how long before he rang you again to tell you he's actually fallen in love with you?

DoreenonTill8 · 16/09/2024 18:20

Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 18:07

No I was going to the event with my 2 DS (one adult one child) and was meeting him on the way along with another mutual friend for breakfast. The 5 of us (him,MF, me and 2 DS) We were then going to join with 8 other mutual friends at the event. DH was going to join once he had finished work.
We have seen each other weekly sometimes more in the few years we have been friends I am never alone with him as always have had a least one of my children with me.

Edited to add that I was told by MF breakfast was off so went later to find out they had all had breakfast together still and he barely spoke to me all day along with sudden NC for about 3 weeks before. The event wasn’t exclusively for the two of us it was a group meet.

Edited
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Ah from I am upset as we usually do this and I am normally included if other mutual friends are going along too but it was as if he totally forgot about me! I thought you were left totally alone, but there was another friend, adult dc and younger dc with you? What made you think it was only you he was avoiding?

Original poster
Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 18:43

Hanging I suppose?
I was a bit taken aback so went along the lines of this is weird ok, keep that to yourself please, changed the subject and did the gotta go work call thing.

He called Sunday morning then again that night with the other guff to which I said it was out of order he shouldnt have said those things regardless who and to sod off and give me space to think I left it with perhaps we shouldnt talk anymore.

OP posts:
JacquelineShit · 16/09/2024 18:48

So he was being a persistent creep?

You need to block him, tell your husband why and make sure this bloke understands that when he's managing a kid's club, this sort of behaviour towards any mother of one of those kids is absolutely not on.

The more this story unfolds, the worse it gets.

Original poster
Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 18:54

DoreenonTill8 · 16/09/2024 18:20

Ah from I am upset as we usually do this and I am normally included if other mutual friends are going along too but it was as if he totally forgot about me! I thought you were left totally alone, but there was another friend, adult dc and younger dc with you? What made you think it was only you he was avoiding?

Show quote history

He spoke to everyone else but not me other than hello we are known as the terrible twins by our spouses and friends as usually playing pranks on the others.
Funny enough one of MF messaged today an asked what was up and why we didnt seem to be talking last week.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 19:17

JacquelineShit · 16/09/2024 18:48

So he was being a persistent creep?

You need to block him, tell your husband why and make sure this bloke understands that when he's managing a kid's club, this sort of behaviour towards any mother of one of those kids is absolutely not on.

The more this story unfolds, the worse it gets.

Its not a kids club its a family club I am one of few women that go he has never acted like this before to me or the other 4 women they have known him 20+ years it was only those 4 before I joined they would be truly shocked it so out of character.
Tbh I am done thinking about it now it feels like its been an obsession all along rather than a friendship! It sucks but I will get by 🤣

OP posts:
LittleMonks11 · 16/09/2024 19:37

This is all so weird - how old are you and the other parents? Is he having a manlife crisis? I wonder what his wife would make of him telling another woman he is in love with her.

DoreenonTill8 · 16/09/2024 19:42

Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 18:54

He spoke to everyone else but not me other than hello we are known as the terrible twins by our spouses and friends as usually playing pranks on the others.
Funny enough one of MF messaged today an asked what was up and why we didnt seem to be talking last week.

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The 'Terrible Twins' and pranks..... what kind of pranks? Sounds annoying and awful!!

Original poster
Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 19:58

LittleMonks11 · 16/09/2024 19:37

This is all so weird - how old are you and the other parents? Is he having a manlife crisis? I wonder what his wife would make of him telling another woman he is in love with her.

its families we are all diff ages some of our friends are 30s some 50s some 60s
I dont know but I might find out if he dont naff off! 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Shesnotelectric · 16/09/2024 20:13

DoreenonTill8 · 16/09/2024 19:42

The 'Terrible Twins' and pranks..... what kind of pranks? Sounds annoying and awful!!

Show quote history

I already know I am annoying and awful 🤣🤣

OP posts:
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