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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS asked to be a pageboy but not included in reception meal

97 replies

beakysmum · 20/04/2008 03:04

What do others think.....?

My DS (3yr 3m) has been asked to be one of two pageboys at a good friend's wedding, which I'm really happy about. However, she wants the reception and meal to be adult only.

Feel a bit bemused by this; on the one hand I understand she wants a child free event, on the other, it feels as if DS is just being used to be dressed up and photographed, but not treated like a person. Also makes for an ineresting logistical problem for me to get someone to pick him up if I want to stay on to the reception.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 20/04/2008 15:15

If your Ds is birng a psgeboy then he should be alowed to go to the reception. Friends of ours had a no children rule but there were exptions for the pageboy and lbridesmaids.

lackaDAISYcal · 20/04/2008 15:21

YANBU....if she wants pages/bridesmaids, she has to accept that they are there for the duration, and that the least she can do is feed them for adding to her day. Otherwise, if it's no kids, it should be no kids full stop.

I can't quite believe she would even ask this of you.

theBOD · 20/04/2008 15:53

yabu. there is nothing to stop you saying no.
it is their day and they have set out the terms they want.if you think they are being unreasonable just say no and explain that it would be too much hassle.then the ball is in their court.

BetteNoire · 20/04/2008 15:54

I'd politely decline.

EffiePerine · 20/04/2008 15:56

update?

MsHighwater · 20/04/2008 17:03

DH and I had an adults-only wedding but my bridesmaid's 8 yo dd was a flower girl and she was at the reception. It never crossed my mind to do otherwise. She stayed for some of the evening after the meal and then her aunt picked her up and took her home.

LittleBella · 20/04/2008 17:11

Yes it's their day, so they can be as ill-mannered, inconsiderate and selfish as they want.

All in the name of Their Day.

This is what is wrong with the "Their Day" concept.

Kimi · 20/04/2008 17:17

How rude, to invite you child as page boy then say no to the reception,

I used to baby sit two little girls who's half sister (a lot older ) got married and had them as bridesmaids, her wedding was adult only except for them as they were the bridesmaids.

Odd very odd

TsarChasm · 20/04/2008 17:25

She is wheeling him on as a prop. I'd tell her (however tactfully) to poke it.

I genuinely do think it's ok for couples to have child free weddings if that is their wish. I do understand. Mine was really looking back but I did have two young bridesmaids and they came to the whole thing.

To ask someone to take a principle part of the wedding and then expect them to push off when not required is damn rude even if they are only 3. What a cheek. Where does she expect him to go fgs?

If you, as mum, feel he wouldn't manage it then that's another matter. It should be your decision.

lazybum · 20/04/2008 17:28

say Thanks but no thanks

PuppyMonkey · 20/04/2008 17:31

I'd just play ingnorant. Turn up with the lad to the do and really embarrass the couple in front of everyone else if they make a fuss about it.

Hopefully they'll just let him stay.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2008 17:41

Or call her and ask for the reception place's number as you are going to call and find out if there is an empty room you can lock him in for the reception.

dizzydixies · 20/04/2008 17:50

did she phone, have I missed it?!?

ChorusLine · 20/04/2008 20:23

any update?

Original poster

beakysmum · 20/04/2008 20:54

Slight delay there.....!

Have finally got hold of her (the bride) and all sorted

Apparently the plan had been to be child free cos the grooms family has a lot of children and it was all getting a bit out of control. However, I think she had been realising that there might need to be exceptions, particularly the pageboys. So now they are both welcome to the reception. Yay!

Thank you all so much for your support once again, BM

OP posts:

dizzydixies · 20/04/2008 21:01

thank god for a sensible bridezilla trying to pull herself back from the darkside!

clam · 20/04/2008 21:19

Oh alright then. She's not so bad after all. Pass the envelope and I'll bung in a fiver for the present.

Kitti · 22/04/2008 17:17

very rude of her.

BellaLasagne · 22/04/2008 17:23

Glad that one's sorted. Here's another for you....

My DS's godfather hit a big birthday, so his DW organised a birthday lunch at a hotel. My DH and I were invited but as they had a no children rule (apart from their own) our DS (his godson) was not invited the reason being that although the hotel accommodated children (he was 11 at the time so not exactly tiny and noisy) they would do no reduction in the charge for lunch.

We declined to go on the basis it was too far (60 miles) but were actually very miffed.

clam · 22/04/2008 17:37

Ah, but Bella, that's more of the "children/no children" dilemma that we've all got heated about in other threads. This thread was a bit different, in that the kid was invited to be part of the do, but was to be booted out of proceedings when it came to the pricey bit.

mummyjaguar · 22/04/2008 17:52

My nephew was page boy at our wedding and then left after the service. But that was purely because my sister wanted to be able to enjoy herself and have a drink without looking after him.

clam · 22/04/2008 18:01

Ah, different again, though, because she chose to do that (as I would have done). It's quite different when bridezilla decides it!

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