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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I contact him?

26 replies

Teanadbisucits · 13/09/2024 15:46

Hey so I am female (25), I met a male (26) when I went to the pub for food ( he was with his brother having a pint after work).

long story short he kept looking over to me & when I went outside for a cigarette he told me that I was beautiful & we got to chatting and we really did hit it off. Before I left the pub as I only came for food - he asked for my Snapchat so I gave it him.

Him and his brother were really nice, we spoke a little bit after the pub & he ended up in an argument with his brother and was letting steam of to me about it ( which I didn’t mind)

I have not heard anything from him since this and it was a month ago - I’ve noticed his Snapchat score hasn’t changed in a month ( it changes when you use Snapchat the score goes up) we are still friends on their I am definently not blocked but he hasn’t posted anything at all.

He has no other social media platforms the only ones he does are old - I’m more concerned than anything I am just wanting to know that everything okay. I have been thinking about messaging his brother who was with him that day just to check he is okay. I don’t want to over step though so it’s holding me back as I barely even know him? But I feel like we really hit it off so I’m just a bit confused.

thanks :)

OP posts:
alpacachino · 13/09/2024 16:13

You're way over thinking it. You don't know him.

FionnulaTheCooler · 13/09/2024 16:16

I have not heard anything from him since this and it was a month ago - I’ve noticed his Snapchat score hasn’t changed in a month ( it changes when you use Snapchat the score goes up) we are still friends on their I am definently not blocked but he hasn’t posted anything at all

Have you actually tried to contact him directly on Snapchat? I don't use it but I believe you can send private messages. I wouldn't contact his brother, if you send him a message and get no reply I'd just leave it.

Tittibits · 13/09/2024 16:19

Absolutely not.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 13/09/2024 16:27

If he wanted to get in touch he would

sammylady37 · 13/09/2024 16:32

Wtf? You met this guy once. Once. And you want to contact his brother to ask if he’s ok cos you think he’s not posting on Snapchat??? Waaaaaaaay too much. Red flag behaviour on your part, tbh.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 13/09/2024 16:34

I voted YABU but only because you can't even be honest on an anonymous forum.

"I’m more concerned than anything I am just wanting to know that everything okay"

You fancy him, it's ok to fancy him. You want to contact him because you fancy him, but why pretend it's out of 'concern'?

TheShellBeach · 13/09/2024 16:36

If you thought he fancied you, he would have been in touch by now.

DadJoke · 13/09/2024 16:41

Either contact him directly or don’t. You are hugely over complicating things.

Wishimaywishimight · 13/09/2024 16:51

Just leave it. You had a chat with a guy in the pub a month ago. Why are you even still thinking about him?

Genegeniehunt · 13/09/2024 16:55

Whenever a random bloke starts complimenting me i always wonder how many times hes tried this shit today. Its never personal theyre like that with everyone. Take care x

PolePrince55 · 13/09/2024 17:12

Your snap score goes up if someone sends you a video or message as well.
If it hasn't moved this means there's been no traffic on that snap account at all.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 13/09/2024 17:35

Wishimaywishimight · 13/09/2024 16:51

Just leave it. You had a chat with a guy in the pub a month ago. Why are you even still thinking about him?

I have a feeling this isn't OP's first thread about a guy who's not interested

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/09/2024 17:42

Actually a snapscore only goes up if you send a pic or video. Just sending a message doesn't increase it

But messaging his brother would be weird. Just message him!

Topjoe19 · 13/09/2024 17:45

Good god no, don't do that! You don't even know him, he probably doesn't even remember who you are. Just put it behind you.

Mrsttcno1 · 13/09/2024 17:48

He’s got a girlfriend and he’s given you a fake/old Snapchat account. Trust me, no single 26 year old man is giving out his snapchat instead of his number unless he doesn’t want unexpected texts popping up on his phone. A dead snapchat account he can just log in and out of as he pleases.

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/09/2024 17:48

Just forget it.

CatCatBoing · 13/09/2024 17:50

No, this is some bloke in a pub. This is concerning, are you over 18?

Imperrysmum · 13/09/2024 17:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/09/2024 17:54

You had one brief chat with someone a month ago and now you are worried whether they're OK or not? That's pretty stalky.

MadeForThis · 13/09/2024 18:07

He's given you an account he doesn't use any more. Probably because he has a partner.

Ilovelurchers · 13/09/2024 18:13

Everyone's being really horrible OP.

You have got absolutely nothing to lose by trying to contact him again - just a friendly message, nothing mental. If he concludes that you are a stalker and you go down in his estimation, really who gives a fuck? You never have to see him again.

If you think he isn't seeing messages on Snapchat, you could message his brother and just say "hi, sorry if this sounds weird, have been trying to get in touch with Xxxxx and I don't think he is checking his Snapchat - could you let him know I said hi, and he can reach me on this number if he fancies catching up......." Again, if he thinks you are a desperate stalker, who gives a fuck? It's not ACTUALLY stalking to just ask once. Obviously I am not suggesting you bombard them with multiple messages, or so anything genuinely stalkerish.

Don't ask on here about it, because everyone will tell you that you are incredibly desperate for texting a man. Just do it and then you can stop thinking about it. Then you'll know.

HornyHornersPinger · 13/09/2024 18:53

'Sent from my iPhome"

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/09/2024 19:17

you could message his brother and just say "hi, sorry if this sounds weird, have been trying to get in touch with Xxxxx and I don't think he is checking his Snapchat - could you let him know I said hi, and he can reach me on this number if he fancies catching up

Don't do that ffs. She hasn't even messaged him if I'm reading the OP correctly so why would she message his brother first?!

Gracelet · 13/09/2024 21:33

Just send him a message.....nothing to lose!

DaniMontyRae · 13/09/2024 22:07

Ilovelurchers · 13/09/2024 18:13

Everyone's being really horrible OP.

You have got absolutely nothing to lose by trying to contact him again - just a friendly message, nothing mental. If he concludes that you are a stalker and you go down in his estimation, really who gives a fuck? You never have to see him again.

If you think he isn't seeing messages on Snapchat, you could message his brother and just say "hi, sorry if this sounds weird, have been trying to get in touch with Xxxxx and I don't think he is checking his Snapchat - could you let him know I said hi, and he can reach me on this number if he fancies catching up......." Again, if he thinks you are a desperate stalker, who gives a fuck? It's not ACTUALLY stalking to just ask once. Obviously I am not suggesting you bombard them with multiple messages, or so anything genuinely stalkerish.

Don't ask on here about it, because everyone will tell you that you are incredibly desperate for texting a man. Just do it and then you can stop thinking about it. Then you'll know.

It doesn't sound like she's actually tried to contact him in the first place. And this is far too over the top - she's had one conversation with the guy.