To think I'm a complete failure!

[Accbabymom1994]

I had a driving test 3rd time and I failed ! I failed because I stalled at a junction turning right because my gear was in 4th gear . I didn't realise and the car rolled back , i was so nervous beforehand and when we parked left hand side I actually just said I have failed haven't I? And he said yes you have, I just feel so miserable, I have a child who is SEN and I really needed to get it done . How many attempts did it get u guys to pass ?

Hi OP. I am dyslexic and dyspraxic, so it took me 4 attempts. What I highly recommend (if at all possible) is having a friend or family member who can practice intensively with you for at least half a day before your actual test.

It is quite easy to find out the likely test routes online, so my DH then supervised while I did them over and over again the day before the test. I am not quite sure how long we spent in total, but it was somewhere in the region of 4-5 hours practicing the day before, and then getting up the next day to do an hour or so in the morning before taking the test at lunchtime.

It meant that, on test day, I was far less flustered because I had just done whichever roundabout was coming up 6 times in the previous 24 hours.

It might sound like overkill to people who are natural drivers, but it was the only way I was going to pass.

Fourth.

But I couldn’t drive the three times I failed so good job. I changed driving instructors and he was able to explain it to me in a way I understood. I had ten lessons with him and passed.

6 times for me, OP. I've been driving for 30+ years now and I never think of all the 'failures', they just don't count.

You'll get it done. Can you take Kalms or similar before your next test?

I would suggest that you book straight in again, you know you can drive, your instructor wouldn't put you in for your test if they didn't think you could do it. You can and you will. Keep going!

What time of day are you taking your test? I booked my first when it was busy. Didn't think just went for 1st available. My dad questioned my decision but was too late at that point.

OP.. automatic cars are much more common now and you'll find one in your price range. It's not what I'd want as a v experienced driver..i like the control of gears but both my parents now drive automatics and it is a lot simpler. Maybe look into it at least.

11.11am

3rd time. First and second I was so nervous. In fact I asked to stop second one as had shakey legs. It was just the test environment where I was rubbish as after I passed I’ve never had a claim.

for the third one I went and got beta blockers from my gp. Worked amazing! If you are desperate maybe try chemicals?

Is this a quiet time in your area?

You are not a failure first of all!

I have been where you are it's soul destroying but I have also got to the other side and am driving everywhere now

Please don't be so hard on yourself you will get there I promise x

Do your test in an automatic. It’s so much easier and impossible to stall. You can still continue to attempt the full manual test afterwards, but at least you’ll be able to drive an automatic in the meantime.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. We all learn differently and have different strengths.

It took me a very a long time time to learn to drive. Maybe you have been put in for the test before you are ready?

Fifth time of turning up at the test centre, but one time I failed the eyesight test and didn't get to take the test, so technically the fourth. Keep going. When you are ready to pass you will pass. It's so worth it, it's like having wings.

I passed first time but I was a mess, my legs were shaking, I literally cried when they said I had passed. I have a friend who took 5 tests, so you are not alone. Best advice I had was: you are going to graded based on how safe you can drive, not how good you are at taking direction, so it doesn't matter if you miss your exit, or your turn as long as you can correct it safely, so maybe this will help you, focus on being safe, your vehicle position, gears, mirror check,etc that takes priority over taking directions well.

Not helpful.

My last driving instructor said it’s actually the younger ones who pass easily who end up in the most accidents.

I also recommend going down the automatic route. It is so much easier, and actually safer too if you're a new or nervous driver. And almost all new cars are automatic, all electric cars are too, cars in the future won't have a manual option, and it has been this way for several years now so you'll definitely find a second hand automatic no problem. We have only bought (second hand) automatics for about 25 years now!

And having the right instructor is vital if you are not a "natural". I went through three before I found the one who got me.

My DD1 is only 18 and technically can drive but the instructor recommended that she drives around with me for a bit before we sign up for the test, because he’s worried that she’ll get so stressed in a test situation that she’ll forget what to do. He said we should drive around “until it’s so easy to do it feels boring”. He said about 500km should do it but that’s just an estimate! I don’t know if you’re allowed to do that in the UK but my DD is finding the extra practice really helpful.

I failed 3 times on stupid mistakes due to nerves. One test I failed driving out of the test centre, I knew I'd failed and the examiner made me finish the test whilst shaking and on the verge of tears. It was humiliating.

Had a break of a few years and passed 4th time. I love driving now.

Weirdly when I passed I had been playing a lot of driving computer games with my now dh, which I'm convinced did something useful to my brain 😂

I passed on the 6th time, I failed 4 tests when in my late teens and then gave up for over a decade. I picked it back up in my 30s and passed second time. Every time I failed it was a stupid mistake; was later diagnosed with adhd. I should add I’ve now been driving around 5 years and never had an accident, never had a ticket etc, my driving is fine I just struggled to focus when nervous in the test.

It's supposed to be but it's always terribly busy

My super successful sister passed on her 4th attempt! She has her own business, loads of money, successful kids. The absolute opposite of A Failure!

I saw the sheet from the first test which had a tick in the box for “Examiner had to take physical action”!

It seems you’ve staked your whole life and character on this test, why would you do that?. Do you label other people Complete Failure for such small things?

Maybe if you could allow yourself to be “disappointed” rather than “character assassinated” it would help get this in perspective. It’s a driving test, not the end of the world. It’s an inconvenience not to pass, not a death sentence. You will get this sorted, but a key to that is not making the test into something that it isn’t.

South Yardley has one of the lowest pass rates in the whole country. One route they deliberately take you on has such a confusing set of signs that many people get it wrong if they're not in the routine. Even then, test nerves can make you forget what you have learned (I did on one occasion and failed because of it).

Other times I failed, the reasons were spurious - such as, a bus on the opposite side of the road charging past us, making the car wobble - the examiner said I was too close to the bus, even though I was stationary and on my side of the road, waiting for it to pass. On another occasion I was waiting to go from the left to the right=hand side lane (behind a line of parked cars), a car stopped to let me into the lane and I carefully drove into it. The examiner failed me because the gap was too small (I got through perfectly fine) and I should have refused to drive into the lane.

I failed 5 times, then went to Lichfield and passed there with no issues.

On the day I passed, my instructor apparently couldn't make my pretest lesson so another instructor from the driving school came. He was really nice and obviously by the time I came to do the test I was used to a strange man being in the car.

I had intense anxiety around strangers, was compounded by my 1st test examiner picking his nose whilst pointing the turn in road. I failed.

When I rebooked I didn't tell anyone as the expectation was far too much pressure. I took some kalms tablets before my test and passed despite having to deal with 3 emergency vehicles and a woman running in front of me.

So my tips would be reduce the pressure on yourself and work out a way of relaxing in the run up to your test. Don't tell anyone including your husband when the test is.

My mum got hers on the 4th attempt - you can do it!!