To think I'm a complete failure!

[Accbabymom1994]

I had a driving test 3rd time and I failed ! I failed because I stalled at a junction turning right because my gear was in 4th gear . I didn't realise and the car rolled back , i was so nervous beforehand and when we parked left hand side I actually just said I have failed haven't I? And he said yes you have, I just feel so miserable, I have a child who is SEN and I really needed to get it done . How many attempts did it get u guys to pass ?

That’s wrong. Someone I know passed the 8th time. She has been driving for 7 years now and has never had an accident. She drives so well. Some people just can’t deal with exam situations.

I passed third time, I'm really not a bad driver, nerves on the day are horrible. The first two times I had the same horrible examiner too who really made me nervous but the third one was nice.
You will pass eventually!
Some people in my area go to a different test centre if they fail the first time around- supposedly easier test route because it's on quieter roads. You could look into doing that?

I passed on my 2nd time. 1st time I made a stupid error that got me a serious mark. I also think the examiner made me nervous, straight away I just felt it. The 2nd person put me at ease straight away.
Can your instructor go through exactly what you're failing on? We went over my mistake multiple times until it was stuck in my head.

Hi OP. I failed three times and passed fourth. I finally passed because I had the nicest examiner in the world.
I burst into tears with the stress. He told me to stop the car. Let me have a cry and blow my nose. Then said he was going to chat to me about life and stuff and to try to forget he was testing me.

When he passed me I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek! (he was a grandad, I was 21)

I will never forget that lovely man. He was in Gosforth/Jesmond in case anyone has a relative who was a driving examiner in the late 90s.

Passed my test 7th time. Kept failing on different things each time and was very nervous.

What helped me in the end:

• Female driving instructor
• Guided meditation for driving test nerves (lots on YouTube)

I’ve been driving for 3 years and never had a single issue. And I drive at peak time in big cities.

Once you have enough practice, driving is a skill that becomes automatic! This is very important to remember.

You are not a failure and you WILL be a good driver!!

Can't you take your test in an automatic?

So much easier.

I passed 4th time. I'd totally over-thought on all the others and consequently messed up. I thought I'd screwed up in the first 5 mins of test number 4 and was so cross with myself I just wanted to get it over asap so just drove.

Poor examiner wondered what the hell had happened when he told me I'd passed and I burst into floods of tears on him.

@TheShellBeach i passed my test first time and I’m the worst driver I’ve ever known. I’ve been driving for over 10 years now and still fairly incompetent- not dangerous just have terrible technique and poor spatial awareness which means I have to take twice as long to do a manoeuvre as anyone else. So I don’t think the number of attempts is always a good indicator of future driving ability. Sometimes I wish I’d failed the fist time and had more lessons!

My instructor said its luck because I'm a good driver 🤦🏻‍♀️

If I fail 4th time I'll probably do that but then will I be allowed to drive manual?

No, if you pass a test in an automatic, you aren't qualified to drive a manual. I have a physical disability which means I can't change gears, so I didn't have a choice. They're so much easier though, I don't think I'd drive a manual even if I was allowed to!

I'll go the long way with manual because what if I can't afford an automatic lol

DH passed on 6th attempt and I passed on my third. The first I was that bad (very nervous) that he said we were going back to the test centre after two mins as I was a mess. My leg shook that badly. I wince thinking about it. DH was better than me but had bad luck. He did tests in rush hour, I did mine off peak. He spends lots of time driving and is safe despite the rocky start. Wishing you lots of luck for your next test OP.

I have a friend that failed 12 times. After that she got a new instructor in an automatic car and passed 1st time!

(So technically 13th time!!).

Obviously she can now only drive automatic cars but that's never been an issue 10 years on!

I'm just thinking about the nerves. A friend of my son has just passed his test 2nd time, he suffers terribly from nerves in exams or test situations, and his gp prescribed him beta blockers during his A levels, and during the second driving test. He said they definitely helped, is that maybe something you could look into?

I will do ! Do u have to ask GP?

I would think so. They're not tranquilisers, so as far as I know they don't make you drowsy or anything like that, it could be a way forward for you as you obviously can drive, it's just the nerves on the day that are the problem.

I understand how challenging it can be to pass, especially with the nerves and all the little things that can go wrong. My partner, who's now an amazing driver, took seven attempts before passing—his nerves just got the better of him during the tests.

You are absolutely not a failure. True failure would be giving up and deciding it's beyond your ability. But you're showing resilience by continuing to try, and that's what really matters. Keep going—you've got this!

I failed my first test a few years back as I nearly crashed into a car pulling away from the side of the road! I felt very nervous when I was learning but I'm completely at ease now.

Also, just wanted to say that you may think you'll never get over the nerves, but it can be done. I developed a phobia about driving, even though I passed first time, to the extent that I gradually drove less and less and then stopped for twenty years! It was when I had my son that I felt I needed to overcome it, I wanted to be able to easily take him places etc. So I booked myself some refresher lessons, and yeah it was hard to start with. I couldn't even sit in the drivers seat without feeling panicky, and that was before I even started the engine! But i had an instructor who was used to nervous learners, he was really great, and gradually the more I did it, the less nervous I got. I bit like how they treat spider phobias by gradually increasing the person's exposure to them, I guess!
Anyway, eventually, I was able to drive myself pretty much anywhere without feeling nervous, and since then I've driven all over the UK on my own. I go anywhere I like now, and I actually enjoy driving. Back then, I'd never have imagined I'd get over the nerves! I know it's not quite the same situation as yours, but sometimes when you feel you've failed and you're never going to be able to do something, it can help to know you're by no means alone, and that there's every chance you'll get there eventually.

4th time here - on my first test I managed to drive into a parked car, which put me off a bit. The examiner had asked me to pull in to the left, just up from some traffic lights - which was fine - but then he asked me to pull out again into traffic. Well, I was so focused on watching the cars stream up behind me from the traffic lights that I entirely forgot to look in front of me, so when there was a gap in traffic - off I went - straight into the parked car in front of me.

The bugger then made me continue the whole test, even though my legs were shaking so much I could barely use the pedals! Put me totally off tests - I failed the next two for stupid nervy reasons - and then when I passed on the 4th, I hugged the examiner.

You'll get there - if I can, anyone can!

Thank you everyone for your kind words

I was a very nervous learner but my instructor advised me to switch to automatic and get some beta blockers from the doctors.

On the day I think I ended up going beyond nervous and felt quite calm. Made 13 minor errors but still passed.

Good luck for next time 🙂

4th attempt - on beta-blockers.

Are you thinking about your SEN child, how great it would be for them if you could pass, when you think about the test. Are they on your mind even during your lessons. I think when we associate our learning to drive and passing with situations it would benefit, we focus so much on that benefit that it adds too much pressure. With me, it was to facilitate a desired career and it fucked me up well and truly. All I could think of was why I wanted to drive officially, so to speak, and it got in the way. It stops you being in the moment IYSWIM.

It's so difficult to take the why out of the equation. I think you're trying so hard It's messing with your head. You are not a failure. You're a parent under pressure.