Autism at 19 Months

[Claire123e]

Hi Mums
I have been lurking here for a while and would like your opinion on something.
I am not asking for advice on whether my child is autistic or not as I know she is showing symptoms but it is all so vague that I’d like a feedback from mums/ families that have encountered this type of behaviour. I have an 19 months old DD who can say 100 words , can distal pointing , waves and claps , does a lot of pretend play , has always brought us toys / books etc , follow commands , always answer to her name and understand everything we say . She is also a good sleeper ( can put herself to sleep after the bottle ) and very affectionate, a bit wilful though . She imitates everything . She has good joint attention and always look where I am pointing . Now to the point of this post .
She has meltdowns / panic when faced with unfamiliar people or situations ( including her grandparents) . She doesn’t let people get near her to touch her . She is an only child and doesn’t go to nursery .
She is not a good eater and prefers being fed by me . She pulls faces when she has unfamiliar food and not adventurous in trying new food .
My issue is that my HV , GP and paediatrician don’t see a reason to refer her for an assessment as she passes the Mchat test . I don’t know what to do at this point or what other families have tried or how things have evolved for them . If you could point me in the right direction I’d be grateful ☺️

She sounds developmentally normal to me OP. She is more likely to be shy if she's an only child and doesn't go to nursery. It's a developmental stage, she'll get over it with time and some gentle socialisation.
Lots of toddlers are fussy eaters at this stage too. You can only keep trying with new foods and try not to make an issue of it.

This all sounds perfectly normal for a 19 month old. Absolutely nothing you've said suggests autism.

Sounds completely normal to me (whatever normal is!)
Is there a reason why you’re so keen for a label for her at such a young age? If she does turn out to exhibit more autistic traits later on then fine, but whilst she still so young and functioning OK, why do you want the label?

At 19 months this is within the range of developmentally normal behaviour. She's only been in the world for 19 months, unfamiliar situations and people trying to touch her, new tastes and textures, they are all an immense experience for a toddler and tantrums, fear, resistance, are all totally normal. I'm of course not saying she doesn't have autism but that at 19 months you wouldn't be able to distinguish it from normal behaviour. All you can do is keep being her calm, safe person in these situations and let her try in her own way, without making a big thing of it, for food just give her a range of options to feed herself, and also some of her favourite that you feed her, with new people and situations just keep trying them at her pace, don't force her to do anything in particular but show her you are calm and unafraid, and leave before she becomes overwhelmed if you can. If it continues on to school age you'll be referred for an assessment as it starts to diverge from normal behaviour. You can also repeatedly speak to your GP/health visitor if you continue to have concerns, over time it helps to build up a picture.

Sounds totally normal to me.

This all sounds very normal @Claire123e why do you think pulling faces and being fussy with food means she is autistic? In terms of being panicky with unfamiliar people and situations that’s just her personality. She probably has a little bit of separation anxiety that comes out in that way.

I agree with the others. I’m autistic myself and have children with ASD. Your daughter sounds to be developing just right. Lots of children are very fussy about new foods, particularly as toddlers. She sounds a bit shy x

And as far as I know, no one is going to send her for an assessment until she is at least two

One of my dc was diagnosed with ASD at 2.5 which is very early.

When you say ‘meltdown’ how long does this last and how does it resolve ? My dds meltdowns would be 2+ hours of shaking and screaming then followed by zoning out and then sleeping for hours. She had no speech at all at 2 and 10 words at 2.5 but she wasn’t using them in any communicative way. She was at nursery from 12 months so had been around others but if she was sat with other children to eat she would vomit and wasn’t able to eat or drink. She did the typical lining up of all toys and hand flapping as well. It was very obvious.

It might be worth a watch and wait and see how she develops because it might be a developmental stage and she just needs reassurance or if things don’t get better or get worse you can ask to see the HV or gp again.

good luck

That sounds pretty much like my DD at that age. She isn't autistic and the shyness and food issues got better with age.

She sound developmental normal. Some children are more sensitive to unfamiliar things than others and that is normal.

Both of my kids don't do well in unfamiliar situations or with unfamiliar people. And to be honest both have had period where they don't go near people we see regularly (grandparents, great grandparents, friends, leaders of weekly classes). Both are fine and no issues.

If the HV, GP and Peds see no issue, please do not try and label you child now. It will cause you so much stress with noone else seeing things you do and your child issues in future.

Sounds totally normal.

The NHS is unlikely to refer at the moment but you can pay for a private assessment, it'll cost around £250. I'm not sure if a private psychologist would assess at this age either but they might.

She has meltdowns / panic when faced with unfamiliar people or situations ( including her grandparents)

Be careful of using ‘meltdowns’ unless they really are meltdowns as opposed to being upset or having a tantrum.

For what it’s worth my completely neurotypical, albeit shy child was very much like this as a toddler. Took ages to warm up to people or places, even his grandparents who he saw twice a week. My autistic child had no stranger fear and even now will go up to random people in the street and talk at them. Being afraid of people who aren’t mum or dad is normal.

She's still a tiny tot so definitely doesn't sound out of the ordinary - although I just thought mine was very shy and fussy at that age and it turned out he had Aspergers and was diagnosed at 11. He definitely wouldn't have got a diagnosis at 19 months though.
Just enjoy her for who she is, keep a note of anything that is out of the ordinary and see how she develops. If she is very high functioning (yes i know MN hates those terms) like DS is then it might not become obvious until around secondary school. But don't worry about something that may never happen! She's little more than a baby right now.

Honestly OP this all sounds typical for her age.

I have one child diagnosed at 5 and one at 12. They both would have passed the MCHAT and I don't think either would have been diagnosable at 2, meeting milestones etc. So your instincts might be right but you might just need to keep taking notes for a while longer. We were fairly sure our DD was autistic by 9, our son we had concerns by 3.5.

Sounds a bit like my daughter. No autism but over time there were clear sensory issues. Food texture has always been an issue as well as loud noises and also touch, especially when she is tired. That also made her fussy with certain clothes. She is also a naturally anxious and, as a result, explosive child (still working on that one).

have a look at the food that triggers her. There might be something in the textures that becomes obvious. We found that my daughter liked fish fingers sometimes and not others. Turned out if it had been anywhere near the water residue from peas she didn’t like the texture of the breadcrumbs. Something as simple as putting the peas in a different bowl solved that one. We still make small adapts like that at 13. No more issues and she eats well now.

Hi many many thanks for your kind words .. when you say explosive child what do you mean ? Also food wise things got easier with time ? ☺️

My autistic child had and has a noticeable lack of awareness of other people being strangers and will go up to anyone and talk to them, even hug them—people he has never met before and doesn't know at all. Your DD sounds developmentally normal and just a bit shy/clingy and a bit fussy around food.

You child sounds completely neurotypical for 19 months.

Parent of an autistic child (and I probably knew by 2.5). I don't know where you get the idea she's showing signs of autism. She's not showing any at all. She's at the peak age for separation anxiety (and she's an only child who spends all her time with you - which is fine - but obviously contributing). A lot of young toddlers are fussy with food and prefer to be fed (quicker, easier) - unless she's not gaining weight or only eating five foods, brand specific, this isn't a problem.

Your daughter cannot be autistic without delays/differences in social communication. You've not described those at all. She sounds more like my DD who is the same age and about whom I have no worries than my DS who is autistic.

You sound like you've spent a lot of time worrying about this? Is there a reason why?

Her anxiety manifests itself as anger. She is prone to lashing out. She (and we) recognise where it comes from but she’s terrible at managing it so we get a wave of anger followed by a wave of remorse when she feels out of control in her life (for example honework she can’t answer, or being told to hurry up because we’re late). Can’t say it’s not still tough but I understand it better so manage my response better.

Yes she’s a brilliant eater now but still has clear things she has never liked. She won’t eat cheese unless it’s on a pizza (and isn’t too cheese heavy) for example. She hates the texture of kidney beans so we actually blend her chilli when we have it and she eats it in a wrap with rice (which she prefers to picking out the beans as she likes the flavour). And it’s not just savoury foods - she really dislikes the texture of donuts.

But last week she asked to try a mushroom and decided she liked it so she’s still willing to try new stuff.

Not technically true. The process was started (assessments with ASD in mind) were started with my youngest (edit!) at 18 months. However he has two older siblings diagnosed and was showing the same traits.

OP, your daughter is reading like she’s developing typically at the moment. Unless there’s a family history of autism (sibling, parent, cousin), with the information given it’s unlikely any HCP would wish to take it further. In the meantime I’d look at a nursery setting and see if that either develops social skills or highlights needs for further support.

I do want to ask though, have you posted about this before? Writing out the above, I feel I’ve replied to a very similar post recently.

It’s mainly the food thing . She has a very restrictive diet only cracker , toast with marmite , biscuits . Other things she gags and spit out . Which I know this type of food is a major red flag