Autism at 19 Months

[Claire123e]

Hi Mums
I have been lurking here for a while and would like your opinion on something.
I am not asking for advice on whether my child is autistic or not as I know she is showing symptoms but it is all so vague that I’d like a feedback from mums/ families that have encountered this type of behaviour. I have an 19 months old DD who can say 100 words , can distal pointing , waves and claps , does a lot of pretend play , has always brought us toys / books etc , follow commands , always answer to her name and understand everything we say . She is also a good sleeper ( can put herself to sleep after the bottle ) and very affectionate, a bit wilful though . She imitates everything . She has good joint attention and always look where I am pointing . Now to the point of this post .
She has meltdowns / panic when faced with unfamiliar people or situations ( including her grandparents) . She doesn’t let people get near her to touch her . She is an only child and doesn’t go to nursery .
She is not a good eater and prefers being fed by me . She pulls faces when she has unfamiliar food and not adventurous in trying new food .
My issue is that my HV , GP and paediatrician don’t see a reason to refer her for an assessment as she passes the Mchat test . I don’t know what to do at this point or what other families have tried or how things have evolved for them . If you could point me in the right direction I’d be grateful ☺️

Stop looking for a diagnosis

Thank you for your input but i have a 19 M D who only self feeds three type of food . Cracker , toast and fruits .

Is there a reason for not going to nursery? You'd be surprised how much kids will eat when they sit with other kids eating. Great for socialisation too.

It’s definitely too early to know. Many children are fussy with food and not autistic. All you can do is wait and see as she develops but so far she sounds developmentally normal

Cracker , toast and fruits are actually different food groups and texturally and taste wise different from each other, so not that restrictive.

I'm not sure that's so terribly unusual. She eats more things when you feed her right? For many toddlers, food is a very important means of exerting control.

Sounds totally normal to me too. Children are all different - I have 3 - 1 with autistic traits but no formal diagnosis, 2 totally NT. My 6 year old (the youngest and NT) still prefers someone to feed him at home as he is lazy. Funnily enough he manages fine when not at home

This seems perfectly normal if a little picky. Most children enter a picky pass around this time - it’s developmental. And actually evolutionary. Listen to the experts - they are there to guide you.

Being picky with food is not a stand alone red flag for autism but it’s not uncommon for children with autism to have sensory issues and a restrictive diet.

I think it’s perfectly possible to spot autism in very young babies but at this point with your dd I’m not sure there is enough to suggest it. That’s not to say other evidence won’t present itself in the future. In your case I would wait until she is at nursery/pre school so you can get a better idea of her social interaction skills. I highly doubt you will get an NHS referral at this point with these current concerns.

Is there any chance of getting her into a nursery or similar? She just sounds like she'd benefit from socialising

@Claire123e my cousin lived on chocolate, yoghurt and bread for nearly 5 years…she’s not autistic in any way!

op, I mean this in the nicest way, are you seeing a lot of neurodivergent/autism videos on your algorithm lately?

sounds perfectly normal to be honest.

I would speak to the GP about her restrictive eating rather than autism as there are classes you can both go to to help- one of my friends DD would barely eat anything and she's not autistic in any way, the classes really helped

My autistic DD's meltdowns lasted anything up to 8 consecutive hours at that age. She fell asleep during one and started again when she woke the next day.

Toddlers get fussy at that age. Just keep offering all food without comment.

Have you tried a church toddler group for socialisation?

Some children are just very picky eaters, my oldest DD is 6 now and was exactly as you describe and absolutely no signs of autism. Just still a very picky eater!

There is no behaviour that you have described there that would suggest anything developmentally different going on. Just the eating on it's own is not a sign of any neurodiversity.

From memory of mine all this is completely normal. My NT son refused meat from the time he was weaned and is now vegan, he just always found it repulsive. Kids go through phases with food anyway.

There isn't anything to suggest your DD is autistic. Food issues are not a sign of autism when there are no other indicators of autism. If she had food issues and multiple other signs then there would suggestions she is autistic. Does she go to lots of toddler groups?she maybe needs more social interaction with kids her own age to help her shyness and to watch other toddlers try foods etc.

all the behaviour sounds as expected. Only child, not going to nursery - she will be upset/worried at people coming into her space. ( I’m not saying you are doing anything wrong, but her world is known and comfortable). They keep saying “terrible twos” but tantrums/upsets can be major at one and a half. As to the food, this can also perfectly normal at this stage. The three foods are very different in texture. Just keep putting tastes of other things on her plate and give her the opportunity to try. Remember too, there is an element of a power struggle, she’s starting to becoming more independent. I have found that my kids eat a lot more widely in nursery/for other people and then come home and refuse to eat the same things there. 🙄

Let her be OP

"she is terrible at managing it"

She is one! If she were good at managing anything at all, that would be developmentally odd.

I couldn’t possibly diagnose but I thought my DS was autistic when he was a toddler/younger child for various reasons. As he grew up he stopped a lot of the behaviours, but was always anxious and had camhs involvement aged 9.
Roll forward a few years to late teens his mental health really deteriorated in the lockdowns and he is now saying he could be on the spectrum (age 20).
I could kick myself for not being more proactive about a diagnosis for him in primary school, but I didn’t know enough about autism to believe a boy who was sociable and made friends easily could be on the spectrum.

Hi @Claire123e

I work with children aged 2 years and we have found this to be a common factor with alot of our children starting that they prefer to be fed by parents. With a little practice and some patients from parents at meal times this will slowly improve.
Health care professionals also say food under 1 is just for fun, and your little one is only 7 months older so is still learning about textures and feeding.

I have read afew of your previous posts about her behaviour towards other people, this is also quite common for the age of your daughter. If it helps, maybe Google milestones for children of this age.

I got 2 autistic boys. Both high functioning. And they cant clap and cant point at that age. Thats one of the biggest clue in autism for that age.
Your kid isn’t in the spectrum.

When you say she has a meltdown when faced with other people do you mean when you leave her with other people? Or do you mean when someone comes into the house or you stop to talk to someone during a walk etc.

My son was incredibly similar, except he also couldn't talk. He didn't say a word until he was 3.

The food was a nightmare for us. He just wouldn't eat. He'd gag on so many things. If he ate something that was a texture he didn't expect, he'd just vomit on the spot.

He's 5.5 now and the meltdowns are a distant memory. He no longer gags/chokes on food. He can talk.

We found that the gagging on food was actually down to incredibly large tonsils. He couldn't swallow anything, which is why he'd only take a few "safe foods". He had his tonsils taken out when he was 2 and he was a different child overnight.

No autism diagnosis for him.