To wonder why people pander to attention seekers?

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A woman at my work that joined about 6 months ago is the biggest attention seeker I've ever come across in my life.

Always dramas, always 'ditsy' moments, and always doing things to attract attention. Her main focus for attention is the men but I've known other attention seekers in the past that have wanted attention from both sexes.

Today, for example, after telling the whole office loudly about her Botox, she started shrieking that she'd 'lost a contact lense'. Cue half hour of men crawling around on the floor looking for it only for her to start giggling and saying how silly she is as it's still in her eye.

Everything is pandered to. Why do people pander to attention seekers so much?

I'm guessing that if she's got men crawling over the floor that she's attractive. That's why

I'm guessing they want to shag her.

As well as the attractive bit, people see them as getting positive attention and go back to wanting to be part of the popular gang.

I can’t stand that shit. There is a woman at my work who is forever having dramas. I once hid in a cupboard so I wouldn’t have to deal with her crying.

I suppose people pander to that type of behaviour when there is something in it for them. If it's men that are doing most of the pandering it's easy to guess what they hope is in it for them.

It must be no fun for you having to work with someone who behaves like that.

Hopefully when she has been there a bit longer the her attraction will wear off and people will become bored and irritated by her behaviour.

I can't imagine that happening in any workplace I've ever experienced.

However, fwiw, we don't talk about attention seeking anymore, but attention needs. It almost always is a result of trauma, which can help to understand it.

@Thrilley I've been through some severe trauma though and I don't act like that

Well no, not all trauma response is the same

Are you joking? Please say you’re joking? ‘Attention needs’ 🤣🤣🤣

I don’t know the answer but your post has reminded me of Björk’s Army of Me (self sufficiency, please!), and it’s still EPIC so thanks!

Some people are attention seeking because it’s part of their personality. It’s not always because they’re experienced trauma.

🙄🙄🙄

Is she attractive?

I agree that her behaviour seems disordered and that attention seeking behaviour might be a product of childhood trauma. She is fulfilling some kind of need there

Do people really not understand people to the extent that a need for attention is laughable? You can't see that if you never got any as a child, for example, your "personality" might be to seek it?

You can call it what you like, the rest of us who think it is exactly attention-seeking will call it that.

Some people just like attention, they just do, and especially male attention. There's lots of self absorbed reasons behind it, not every display of poor behaviour is because of trauma or mental health. Some people are just like that and many will laugh about it to their friends outside of work, trust me.

I worked with a girl like this.

And that is how she behaved - like a girl.

she was once speaking to a client on the phone and used the “telephonic alphabet” and said W for Willie - and the whole office burst into fits.

She would constantly talk about her teeth whitening home kit which would make everyone laugh.

she would have so many ditsy moments. And you could never have a normal conversation with her. Everything was a joke.

she wasn’t that great at the job because she would constantly ask for my help - usually about the same thing and she was like a kid when she finally got it.

Honestly I think it was her personality but everyone - men and women fell head over heels for her.

She had a boyfriend at home and I think he was controlling in the end (she was never allowed to stay behind and always had to be home).

Indont want to talk badly of her, but these characters do exist. I haven’t come across anyone like that for over a decade - since switching companies.

Maybe she likes to make people/men do what she wants them to do. She says jump and they ask how high.

Can you not understand that while this is absolutely true for some, everyone is different and it isn’t true for all, and some people are just self-absorbed, narcissistic or drama queens?

There doesn’t always have to be an underlying reason to excuse shitty behaviour, just like some people are born arseholes or inherently nasty for no reason other than they just are.

The sooner people stop looking for labels and reasons for ‘it’s not their fault’ and stop enabling, the less shitty behaviour happens.

This, this is why people pander. Some people like to think they are so compassionate that they'll willingly turn annoying behaviour into victimhood and wait to be congratulated on their tolerance.

What if another colleague has childhood trauma which is triggered by attention seeking behaviour?

I've never signed a contract which includes fixing emotionally broken adults as part of my job.

Lots of people have faced significant challenges in their life but they manage to avoid it manifesting as a disruptive, attention seeking performance at work.

She also talks constantly about 'spending all her money on Shein' and oh how silly she is as she spent £200 on an order as she couldn't help her ditsy silly self and whoops now she has no money left

Because they don’t want to look mean spirited or a fun sponge for ignoring the attention seeker.

She must be lying, if you bought the entire Shein site I bet it wouldn’t cost £200!!

One woman I worked with springs to mind.

Some of the men used to wind up/ tease the women. We'd mostly say leave off. She'd completely engage. And say things to make them keep going.

I said to her tell them piss off, she said she loved it. She also used to spray loads of perfume on herself at her desk

I've never signed a contract which includes fixing emotionally broken adults as part of my job.

I love this quote, FOJN.