I hate the radio being on

[Onlyhereforthecrack]

My husband is at home all the time due to work from home, and he has the radio on all day. He watches breakfast tv in the morning (I cannot stand light entertainment) and then has the radio on all day. It’s radio 6, which I detest. All soft rock and ding ding dang dang and it stresses me out. I’ve never been a music fan as is probably clear. I’d be fine if it were talking or even radio 2, I just hate radio 6.

if I listen or watch I instinctively do so privately, I have an iPad and a phone and loads of headphones. I rarely watch the big TV if he’s home. He’s not a monster, he’ll happily leave me to it and go to another room, I just don’t think it’s that great for a relationship to both be always staring at different boxes in different rooms.

if he turns it off it’s like I’ve peed on his chips. He makes me feel like such a killjoy and that he’s being controlled. I think I have a sensory thing where too many sources of noise (we have two teens) sends me a bit wonky.

Hes able to do what he wants all day pretty much, is it awful that I don’t want it on for 12 hours a day? Should I say - you’ve had that for three hours, now let’s put on heart! (I know it’s sad, but I’d prefer that or motown).

Am I massive killjoy?

🤣

I actually think you are being a bit unreasonable during the day. He's not playing music in the same room as you in that you are in your office and him moving about the house...so just because you want to sit with the door open, he cant have the radio station he wants on?

Fair enough there should be some compromise when having couples/family time in the evening/not working but its unfair to have him turn his music off/wear earphones in the general house day to day because you dont want to close the office door whilst you work.

I can see both sides. I have what I want on and if dh said he would like something on I would be shocked and would probably sulk. Sometimes we listen together on an evening but it's me who will say oh Claire sturgess is on or the top ten at ten and he is fine with that.
He plays his music loud when he's on his own and if I come in I like it turned down. I play mine loud if I'm in my own.
So I'm more like your dh. But I can see your side totally and sometimes I say to my radio oh I can't be bothered with you. Haven't had it on today but GS had Alexa playing Eminem and I was fine this morning then this afternoon it was a bit loud so I said Alexa off!
We don't have a TV; that totally sets me on edge when people are watching something I can't stand.
But I generally have what I want all day and night.
But podcasts is something we don't subject each other too! We listen to them alone generally. And on a Sunday night we listen to albums together after the request show on Absolute.
But I think Radio 6 would annoy me it's all a bit try too hard.

True, I see your point. If it were not a bone of contention it would not bother me. It’s the turning it off when I get home / deflated man sound that I don’t like.

It just feels like it’s always on. He listens to it in my car when he uses it and it’s on loud when I get in and I feel like I’m in one of the physiological torture films from the 90’s.

The radio 6 thing is for music lovers. People who care about people’s motivations and inspirations and I really, truly, could not care less if you wrote your album because your uncle Dan had a ford cortina in Plymouth and you liked the hum of the engine.

i know for some this is deeply offensive but who gives a shit why a 25 year old joined a band. And wrote about being on an apprentice course??

My husband loves it. Totally baffles me. I’d actually rather listen to old ladies being interviewed outside Tesco. No word of a lie, old people have something to say.

I hate it too. Hate listening to other peoples music choices. Hate Dh having the radio on at home, people with the radio on whilst camping, or on the beach, or a train.

I only want to listen to the songs I like.
At home I mostly like silence. I live driving, but mostly no radio, quiet.

Same. Enough going on in my head most of the time!

So on your office days he can listen to his hearts content.

it has been described by some as a nest of vipers back in the day

This is always a massive issue for me too. I can't bear different sources of noise, yanbu, discuss with him. Good luck

I totally get it - I’m not really a fan of music except in the car and I can’t work if I can hear music even quietly - it’s like it takes over my head and I just can’t concentrate.

My DH likes it so wears headphones and I compromise and put up with music on whilst we’re getting dinner ready / weekend mornings,

I'm the same, I HATE silence, and leave my bedside radio on all night as well as having the living room one on all day. When I worked I listened to the radio via my computer - even though there was often other music playing in the background.

Earbuds, headphones. Pee off

It is out loud when you wear air pods. If it wasn't, he wouldn't be able to hear it

You're musically incompatible!

OP while I love music, and I'd be your DH in this situation, I can imagine how stressful I'd find it to be exposed to a constant stream of sounds I didn't like. Compromise must be the key - you both have strong preferences so there must be room for e.g. headphone use at least some of the time.

I like a quiet house but I am also sensory sensitive.

I expect those of us similar are attracted to your thread.

In real life... With my group of mum friends I've found they all have the radio on all day or in their car. It's been eye opening. And businesses often do it.

I find it a competing input. I don't mind if actively listening to something (same with TV) but can't cope with doing 2 things at once.

I really hate background noise so I really couldn't cope with the radio on all day.

On the other hand, if it's solved by shutting your office door then do that!

Times when you are not in your office need to be negotiated.

Maybe you shut the door while you work, he can do what he wants, but as soon as it is not office hours the radio is off in shared areas?

DH used to like to have the radio on in the car but at a level so low you couldn't hear what they were saying, it was just a background hum of nonsense.

He now switches it off or puts music on loud enough to actually hear if I'm in the car.

I get this. I cant do background noise either, it just niggles me unless Im actively listening to something.
My parents have the radio on all day and its like nails on a chalkboard after a while!

YANBU OP, I don't cope well with too much noise all the time either, but then again it is also quite normal to have the radio on when working. I agree about radio 6, every time I listen to it (if DH has left it on in the car for example) I sit thinking what the fuck is this?

I hate it. I work in an office & radio is on all day. Now some bright spark has moved my desk & it's RIGHT under the radio & behind the photocopier. I can't stand the noise!! I don't like headphones as I'm now also facing a wall & it's too isolating & I can't hear people coming up behind me.

At home DH would have music on 24/7 but doesn't because I need it quiet. If I go out for 5 mins, though, on it goes & on it stays. And it's LOUD. Also has a guitar & sometimes tries to sit in the lounge and strum...

I should be conditioned from DM turning the radio on, full blast, at 5am on weekends. The most horrible Australiana music host with horrible tacky music.

I just want some quiet....

Thankfully I live alone as I have R6 on all day while I’m working and bloody love loud music in the car. Can’t stand the sound of people talking or the kids at the school opposite screaming during break times. But if I shared my space with someone else then I’d use headphones as it’s not fair to inflict my choices on other people.

I hate it too. When I was growing up my mum had Radio 2 on all day. One of the offices I worked in insisted on having 6Music on all day. I'm easily distracted so couldn't concentrate on my work. The sound is particularly grating when it's coming from a tinny speaker.

I do enjoy the occasional evening of R4 though.

@Onlyhereforthecrack
“It’s the turning it off when I get home / deflated man sound that I don’t like.”

Let him be deflated. Get ok with it, practice will help.

YABU for preferring Heart to 6 Music 😆

Seriously though, he should be able to make the tiny compromise of wearing earphones for you.

I am autistic and love the radio I like (6 Music 😉) at ear blasting volumes when I'm alone in my workshop. Had to spend all day yesterday working on a building site with Capital Dance blasting at rave level volumes next to me, interspersed with power tools, that was soothing 😬

Also laughing at 6 Music being soft rock. And you preferring Radio 2 - that's quite a musical difference between you. I do hate 5 Live blaring away if it's a game he's not particularly interested in but it's also not pleasant to wear headphones all day.