To think he shouldn’t be flirting with other women when I’m pregnant

[Jigglypop]

so I’ve been in a casual ish relationship. We agreed to keep it exclusive but as we both lead very different lives we said let’s just spend time together. We’ve been doing this for 7 months, getting along fine. Small bumps along the way about expectations.

Anyway I recently found out I was pregnant, through contraception failure. And I really do not know what to do. He has been excellent, supportive and understanding.

We agreed to have a long chat to see how we were both really feeling and what life might look like if I kept it. I didn’t decide then however I am leaning towards an abortion. The following night, he’s texting me to say how sad he is. I mean literal hours of him being drunk, saying he’s sad but he can’t change my mind, he said he’s crying whilst he’s out.

I sent him some supportive messages but I was kind of annoyed because it’s not exactly an easy decision for me. The next morning I sent him a message just saying I hope he’s okay, I’m sending lots of love and for him to just let me know he’s home safe. I heard nothing all day so I thought he could be mad.

I went on social media, nope he was out with women later that night. I also could see he posted several flirty comments on a woman’s profile. AIBU to think it’s disrespectful to ignore me when we’re talking about something so serious. I was feeling so guilty and worried about him but instead he’s actually fine and has been entertaining other women

he’s sending videos of him crying whilst being out?

Tell him to audition for drama school and dump him.

I would also not tie myself to him for life with a child.

People on here talk about 18 years, but no, it's life-long ties. With extended families.

Both can be true, he was drunk, upset and emotional. Then, he was out enjoying himself. None of his behaviours suggest you should change your plan to end the pregnancy. You both may have feelings and process the event in unpredictable ways but that doesn’t make it the wrong decision. Whatever you do will be hard, one for a very very long time the other for a little while.

You said it’s casual. You don’t like him enough to have his child. Sounds like he can do what he wants!

Lordy.

this is not a man you want to be shackled to forever. You made the right decision for you.

The women are not the problem. The emotional blackmail and attempted control are.

He 100% doesn't want a baby with you but I can guarantee that he will attempt to make you feel guilty about having a termination because "it was his baby too". You seem to be leaning towards a termination so it would be an ideal opportunity to cut ties with this guy at the same time and make a fresh start.
He sounds like the kind of person who would always throw it in your face during any argument even though he'll be secretly pleased you didn't have the baby.

I’ve been where you are now, in almost exactly the same situation. I went ahead and had an abortion and although it was really difficult at the time - you will probably feel rubbish and sad and maybe even a bit guilty - 22 years down the line it was definitely the right thing to do.

Good luck OP and be sure to cut him out of your life, that’s the one thing I didn’t do quickly enough, I let him ‘support’ me through everything before I cut ties…mistake!