Child wet pants at school did nothing

[Ladybug85789]

Child (age 4) came home from
first day of school with wet underwear and smelling. It had dried by the time we arrived home. Therefore I feel it must have been morning some time when it had happened leaving child wet all day. Child is fully potty trained has been since age 2 with hardly any accidents but does still wear pull up at night. I know it being first day was probably overwhelmed however when i brought it up to the teacher that child had wet pants at school they said it’s normal which I’m sure it is but to leave them in it all day or for no one to notice does seem quite concerning. Is there a new policy that I’m not aware of that they can’t change them. If they had called I would have been more than happy to pick child up change or take home shower etc. It seems to have happened to a few children in the class.

Ours would help, although they might help them change themselves iykwim.

It's a very very normal thing in a classroom at that age. I'd assume the teachers didn't notice and DD didn't tell them. Really hammer it home with her to tell a grown-up if it happens again.

Did your child tell the teacher? I wouldn’t expect the teacher to notice a minor accident unless told. A big accident with soaking trousers yes probably but not a little one. Encourage your child to speak up to a grown up when these things happen so they can get help getting cleaned up.

Did she tell the teacher it had happened?

Reception classes normally have spare clothes for just this type of incident. Wet patches at carpet time are quite common! DS had a couple of accidents so would come home in spare pants/clothes etc with wet clothes in a bag. So I would have assumed if it was noticed or your DC had told someone that spare clothes would have been provided

Ours have spare pants and trousers/skirts for accidents. Kids would be expected to go change themselves. But you would be surprised how many kids don't say anything even if they poo themselves.

Teachers at our school would definitely help change, I think there was actually something in the school handbook we had to sign to say we were happy for someone to assist them changing if they had an accident when they started school. However, this is where I feel school is a jump up from nursery where the teacher wouldn't be looking out for this type of thing and if your dc doesn't actively go and tell the teacher there's a good chance they wouldn't know

Oh that’s very upsetting for you! It’s so worrying sending them in! I have never known a school not change a child - that would be very neglectful. Make sure you have a conversation with your child about what to do if an accident happens. It can be quite overwhelming for children and it needs to be emphasised that they can ask an adult for help. If I was their teacher I would also have a chat with them about what they could do as well.
Make sure they have a spare set of pants and bottoms in bag just in case it happens again.

Unlikely they purposely ignored it, they just wouldn’t have known. It’s particularly common with dark grey/navy/black bottoms, it just doesn’t show up well. When this happens at pre-school I’m often made aware by a damp child sitting on my lap 🤦🏻‍♀️ but that’s less likely to happen at school. There are lots of other children to monitor and the child is far less likely to say anything in a new and unfamiliar environment.

I don't think they're allowed to intervene physically, but should call and tell you there's an issue. I say this because a teacher I know had to call the parents of a 4 year old that wasn't potty trained, every time they needed to use the loo at school because they weren't allowed to help. The school told them several times that the child needed to be potty trained, otherwise a parent would have to come in to assist every time they needed to go.

I don't know if this applies nationally, or individual school rules.

I'd hope a teacher would notice a child with wet pants, but I suppose it depends on how many kids they have to juggle, and how much pressure they're under. It's not good either way, sitting in wet pants all day would be horrible.

They probably didn't notice esp if dark coloured bottoms.

I think it’s normal because they’ve just started, it’s new routine, new toilets, busy playground etc. and even a child that’s been reliably trained for can sometimes leave it a bit late. Then the teacher has 30 kids and probably won’t notice unless there’s an actual puddle, and wee doesn’t immediately smell so they will be relying on the child to let them know if they’ve had an accident. Make sure your DC has a change on their peg and knows to tell a teacher should it happen again.

I am totally convinced they just didn't notice it.

Imagine having a classroom of 25 five year olds with just a couple of adults to help. Honestly so easy for something like that to go unnoticed. It's totally different to being a parent and watching two or three children.

i think child didn’t tell the teacher so it must just have gone unoticed. I couldn’t get a straight answer from child as was crying uncontrollably about it. I couldn’t tell from the trousers was the underwear and smell and they are dark coloured trousers. They definitely are under pressure the teachers as they open the classes so 60 children. They are lovely teachers.

You will need to tell your child to tell the teacher if an accident happens. Also encourage them to the toilet regularly. DS was a bugger for getting so involved with something he ignored the fact he needed to go to the toilet and couldn’t get there in time

When DS left the class I replenished some of their old stock of spare clothes as a thank you! (I did always return the spare clothes he had to put on washed as well)

According to the Eric guidelines leaving a child soiled and or wet can be considered neglect.

Of course they are allowed to intervene .

I'm sure they just didn't realise.

DD1 had an accident on her first day of school (not quite sure what happened but she came home smelling of wee) but said she didn't tell the teacher (and of course didn't bother changing into the spare clothes in her bag!). I told her in future to make sure she mentioned it to teacher and changed her clothes but it hasn't happened again.

Yes if they knowingly leave a child soiled/wet but what's the teacher meant to do, go round hourly sniffing every kids backside! This has obviously been upsetting for the child and OP but I'm sure the teacher would of done something about it had he/she been aware, calling it neglect is a bit ott!

Most reception classes have a stock of old clothes for exactly this reason.

Most teachers and TAs are very happy to change children.

At school the ratios can be quite low. It's possible it's only one teacher to 30 kids.

The teacher isn't necessarily going to notice, your child needs to tell them.

Might be worth making the teacher aware so they can try to keep a closer eye?

Hopefully it's a one off OP but if it does happen again might be worth having a chat to your child and maybe the teacher. My friends little girl started wetting herself daily when she started school, turned out she was struggling to get onto the school toilets. I have heard of others who are scared to go to the toilet in case they get lost and this sort of thing

The teachers probably didn't notice, or it may have just been a small amount. Hopefully DC is not too traumatised by it. Tell them accidents happen sometimes and not to be afraid of raising their hand and letting the teacher or TA that you need to go to the toilet, or if she has another accident to speak to the teacher

It's nothing abnormal or unusual, especially on the first day. As you say, they were dark trousers and she didn't say anything.
Just try to reassure her that it's nothing to be ashamed of if you have an accident, just tell the teacher so they can help you change. It must have been uncomfortable walking around wet for a long time so maybe it wasn't that long before you picked her up? I remember little kids wetting themselves and then just instinctively stripping their trousers and pants off. Obviously in the middle of class that's not quite the right approach either!
She'll get used to the routine and in the meantime just send her with spare clothes.

That's what I thought, but apparently they have to call the parents to come and collect the child. I find it baffling myself.