Child wet pants at school did nothing

[Ladybug85789]

Child (age 4) came home from
first day of school with wet underwear and smelling. It had dried by the time we arrived home. Therefore I feel it must have been morning some time when it had happened leaving child wet all day. Child is fully potty trained has been since age 2 with hardly any accidents but does still wear pull up at night. I know it being first day was probably overwhelmed however when i brought it up to the teacher that child had wet pants at school they said it’s normal which I’m sure it is but to leave them in it all day or for no one to notice does seem quite concerning. Is there a new policy that I’m not aware of that they can’t change them. If they had called I would have been more than happy to pick child up change or take home shower etc. It seems to have happened to a few children in the class.

I’m sorry stop blaming the teacher accidents happen and your child didn’t tell them. I’ve been that teacher, first day all children sitting at a table, running around trying to stop crying, organising everyone. Then a kid gets up to go and they’ve had an accident and you never knew. Of course if we’d known there’s no way a child would be left wet or soiled, I hate to think that (I’ve got my own little boys now) the parent can in RAGING and I’d tried so hard all day to make them kids feel happy and valued. I had no idea and was made out to be evil, like I’d done it on purpose.

That's just crap. DS is in pull ups (he does have additional needs) and the school have said they will change him if/when needed. There are apparently other children in pull ups or not fully toilet trained and the staff help them too.

Schools are not meant to call parents in. From the ERIC website:

That’s now considered discrimination.

And a good job - apparently 25% of school starters this year aren’t fully toilet trained.

If they didn't tell the teacher and they are in dark trousers, the teachers aren't to know.

The teachers has 30 DC in the class. If your DC didn't tell the teacher or TA what had happened how do you expect them to know? YABU to expect the teacher to be a mindreader.

I doubt that all of the wee would have been contained in the pants.
Surely it would have been noticed?

No they don't, they may prefer to do that but it can be considered neglect .

@Riapia my DD has had small accidents that wouldn't be particularly obvious if she didn't mention it. Generally on the way to the loo where it's just been a small amount. Wet knickers and damp trousers maybe, but not standing in a puddle.

Oh come on - deliberately leaving a child soiled or wet is completely different! The OP said there are sixty children and also that she herself didn't notice from the trousers so is the teacher meant to be psychic?

Barring additional needs, the teacher shouldn't need to "change" a 4 year old. There are 30 of them, its very difficult to notice let alone have the staff available to change a child. Part of preparing to start school is ensuring they can manage getting dressed themselves. Generally speaking the school trousers sold for little ones are elasticated.

If the child needs help getting spares (i am certain EVERY reception class will have a drawer of spares) they need to tell the teacher, you can't expect the teacher to notice when there are 30 kids in the room.

*That’s now considered discrimination.

And a good job - apparently 25% of school starters this year aren’t fully toilet trained.*

They should be. These are 4 and 5 year olds, its a failure on the part of parents if they haven't sorted it before school and it should be the parents who are inconvenienced, not the school staff.

It's that particular school.

Lots of children start reception with SENs that haven't been acknowledged and not being potty trained can be a clue.

Also thanks to COVID lots of kids aren't properly socialised so won't tell adults they are in the care of they have had an accident.

It's not always laziness on part of the parents.

If the teacher doesn't notice that a kid has wet pants ALL DAY what else are they not noticing??

When I taught this age group we were definitely not allowed to change a child's underwear. It also wouldn't have been physically possible as I had no regular support assistant so couldn't have left the other children unsupervised.
We would call a parent to come in and change them.

Every kids holiday club and primary school we looked at stated that kids under 6 should come with sufficient changes of clothes.

It is expected that reception age kids have toileting accidents even if they are potty trained.

So do you think the staff noticed and just left it there? Or do you think they cleaned up the puddle but not the child?
What a ridiculous comment.

Speak to the school. A decent should should be prepared for this as this year is going to be one of the worst for kids that aren't trained due to the covid restrictions they're all just that little bit behind

Sometimes that's the parent's call, if the child has been previously looked after/suffered trauma, parents can sometimes request they be the only ones changing a child to protect them.
Some schools also have this policy to force parents to potty train their children, as its really not a teacher's job to do this.
Occasionally I used to call parents but only if the child was totally covered in poo and needed a full bath etc. And, to be honest, I did give up and call one set of parents every time when it got to summer term and they still hadn't lifted a finger to potty train, their child would always poo themselves just as phonics was supposed to start and I had to prioritise the learning of the other 29 children in the end.
So, in short, it depends on the child, the parents and the school.
In the eg from original post, I agree with other posters, teacher prob didn't notice so encourage your child to say next time. I hope they are OK.

But she didn't have wet pants all day. The OP said they were dry at home. She also said she don't notice it herself.
The child probably didn't pull her pants down quick enough during a trip to the toilet and got a bit of wee in her pants which was unnoticeable in her dark trousers. Accidents happen. If she was upset about it in school then the teacher would have noticed that.

It's not always laziness on part of the parents.

When its 25% of children a big chunk of it is.

I'm a reception TA in England. Since school started I have helped change 7 children - 3 today alone. Of course I help and we often walk around looking if there is a smell in the air. I always ask the children what they would like me to do and follow their lead, trying not to make a big deal of it and not to embarrass them. Also often requires a change of shoes and socks and a clean of the general area. Most children can't do that without help as they don't have access to spares or equipment.

I can't help answer your question OP, but would wearing pulls up this week at school help, or would that be a step backwards?

A friends child had PE in their 1st week, also age 4. He came home with shoes on the wrong feet and his jumper inside out and backwards! These things, I'd assume, are more noticeable than a wee inside dark trousers. Not berating teachers BTW, it must be be difficult to check every detail with so many children to care for.

Same thing happened with Dd’s friend, she just didn’t say anything to her teacher (their school helps with changing etc and the kids take a spare set of clothes in) and her mum noticed when she came home.

Wasn’t the teachers fault (or the little girls), she’s completely dry as well, just struggled on the first day which is chaotic for everyone at this age. I doubt that this is uncommon.