I can't stop drinking wine

[wineoclock123]

Any tips? I drink wine every night, and I can't seem to get a handle on it. It relaxes me, and makes me sleep. I have to be up at 630am every day for work, and I'm starting to feel dizzy most days. If I don't drink, I don't sleep!

@Beepybopp can you tell me where to get melatonin online have been looking for ages

I think we need more info, OP. Is your thread title hyperbole or do you really feel like you can’t stop? Because if it is the latter, the quantity isn’t actually particularly relevant, although of course larger amounts will have a bigger impact on your physical health. With the limited info you’ve given it’s hard to know whether you’re addicted or stuck in a bad habit.

If you really feel like you cannot stop, or you’ve tried and failed, then I would speak with your GP in the first instance and go from there. They can help with the sleep, too.

There are some very supportive threads in the alcohol support section. We'd happily welcome you along #browniesnotbeer

Sorry NRTFT

Have you tried having Rose with lemonade?
My friend made me try it and it was lovely!

It may help you reduce your intake, without feeling like you’re denying yourself any.

Have the same amount of glasses as you normally do but half fill them with lemonade.

Its also cheaper, less calories and you’ll feel better in the morning.

I hope you come back to the thread because you’ve done well even posting and this is nothing to feel ashamed of.

If it’s just about sleep Nytol is fantastic to bridge the gap.

If you want to stop then the only person who can do it is you. Don't buy wine so there is none in the house and buy a drink for the evening you do enjoy that's non alcoholic eg I get a box of nice teas in. It won't be easy at first but will be ok fairly quickly

I used to think alcohol helped me sleep, but actually I slept terribly. I started having Bedtime Tea made by Yorkshire Tea instead and a couple of biscuits. I sleep loads better and it does have a sedative effect. Stopping drinking, you'll have a few terrible nights. Be prepared for it, it's withdrawal. You'll have to push past it.
I can't even drink a bottle of wine now. 4-5 units is my maximum before I wake in the middle of the night sweating and with a racing heart.

It's not nonsense. Going cold turkey if you're an extremely heavy drinker is very dangerous. This (probably) doesn't apply to the OP though.

Yes. Stop buying it for a start. If its there you will drink it. If you give in and drink start again the next day.

Depends on how much you’re drinking really and whether it’s an addiction or not. I was drinking daily but managed to cut it to weekends (apart from holidays when it creeps up again). I now find I really enjoy having a cup of tea in bed during the week and sleep much better. But I do still enjoy a drink at the weekend. Although every so often I take the weekend off now as well and I feel so much better for it. I was probably drinking around 35 units a week which was terrible in hindsight, down to between 10 and 20 now. So still not great especially by mumsnet standards but much better I feel.

Thanks everyone! I've read every reply, and there are some very good ideas there.

I drink 2 bottles most nights. I'm used to it, of course. I was doing really well earlier in the year, and was having 3-4 days alcohol free nights every week. I've somehow slipped back though. I had one night off last week, and probably got 30 minutes sleep! All night staring at the ceiling!!

I think I need to get some sleeping tablets. I've got herbal gummies, but they don't help at all. I also got lavender spray for my pillow - no help either.

To those asking how it came to this (!), I only used to drink a little until I was about 35. Then I found out that my long term DH had been cheating on me, for our whole 20 year relationship. I left him, but we had to live in the same house when this was happening, and I found myself drinking more and more wine to cope. I seem to have had a problem with it since then. But I am now in my 50's! I am from a family of alcoholics, was raised around a tonne of booze, but that didn't seem to affect me until my marriage fell apart.

I am now very happy in life, lovely DH, kids grown and doing well, lovely holidays, plenty of money (hence cost not an issue). I am not a rowdy drunk. I just open a bottle at 7pm with dinner, and drink slowly until I go to bed around 11pm. That's 6 large glasses of white wine, which is 2 bottles. Never feels a lot when I'm drinking it, as I'm not chugging it. DH also drinks, but he has a good few nights off because he works shifts, so can't drink on those nights.

We have loads of spirits in the house, gin, vodka, brandy, whisky, you name it, but I never touch those, even if we were out of wine, I wouldn't go near them. They are bottles we've been bought as gifts, and DH buys them if he likes the bottles. Goodness knows why, because he never drinks them either.

I don't smoke, and I've never done weed or any drugs of any kind. Not that that's relevant, I guess.

You have a drinking problem.

It is irrelevant what 'caused it'.

If you carry on drinking 2 bottles a night you will ruin your life and your kids lives.

You are not a victim and you have the power to stop.

And just to let you know, liver damage can reset your body clock so that you want to be awake at night and sleep during the day.

I didn't used to touch spirits either.... fooled myself that I wasn't an alcoholic but just had a stressful job / couldn't sleep / liked the taste of wine.

But then one night I found myself thinking "it would be a lot easier to manage the shopping / storage if I just switched to gin..." rather than considering cutting down the amount of wine!!

And that was one of my major alarm bells to get help.

2 bottles of wine is an incredible amount. You don't go to sleep on that, you pass out. Do you ever have blackouts where you're not exactly sure of the last bit of the evening? Can't remember exactly getting into bed?

If you can't stop then you'll need help.

I did it through AA who were non judgmental, safe, honest and most importantly every single person had been where I was.

But there are other ways / lots of other help so start something today.

I'm 5 years alcohol free. I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace it completely changed the way I look at alcohol and I've not touched a drop since. Worth a try maybe? She has a website with some resources as well which may be helpful too! https://thisnakedmind.com/

Good luck!

2 bottles of wine is a lot. I would not be able to wake up in the morning and function at all. I drank 2 bottles once when out with friends and I was bed bound the next day. Honestly it really is too much, 2 bottles a night is like 140 units per week!!!!!

@Ghilliegums That’s a bit harsh. Of course acknowledging what started it is relevant. There’s always a reason.

You clearly don't know what you are talking about so I would keep your advice to yourself as it could be dangerous.

Not convinced about that.

www.pharmica.co.uk/jet-lag/melatonin/

I literally googled it.

There will be a reason but it won't be anything that the OP has told us yet. Possibly the rest of her family being alcoholics might be a clue, but the fact remains, she is not a victim.

Victims use their victimhood as an excuse to drink.

I really like ginger beer to drink in the evenings - it feels like a step up from a ‘normal’ soft drink! (No idea why)

Well, you can google it if you like. The liver transplant department explained this to me (not my transplant).

I was like that OP.

Try small steps, so maybe week 1 you can decide you aren't going to drink on a Monday and a Thursday. Then you know it's a short term manageable goal.

The next week you add another alcohol free night.

If you struggle to stop drinking once you start then realistically that's an issue as there's around 9+ units in a bottle and the upper most limit on alcohol consumption according to the NhS is 14 units per week. So obviously you'd think 'oh I'll just drink one night a week then!' But reality is, moderation is the hardest part. So maybe think about taking a break entirely at that point.

I agree! I think it's because there's a bit of a bite to it, it's not just sweet, like lots of soft drinks. I also recommend Kombucha (there is often a lemon and ginger flavour of that but the original is also good).