I can't stop drinking wine

[wineoclock123]

Any tips? I drink wine every night, and I can't seem to get a handle on it. It relaxes me, and makes me sleep. I have to be up at 630am every day for work, and I'm starting to feel dizzy most days. If I don't drink, I don't sleep!

The phrase “nobody wakes up and regrets not drinking the night before” really helps me

Stop drinking wine and replace it with non alcoholic drinks. Phone AA or another support group for help if that it difficult.

You can sleep, you just need to break the cycle and go through a period of adjustment,

Hi op. There are some great threads on here under alcohol support. Lots of us were where you are.

You just have to stop - or cut down first.

Your sleep will be worse to begin with and then much better.

You could try melatonin to help you get to sleep for a while to begin with until your body and brain adjusts. You can get it on an online pharmacy for jetlag (supplements claiming to be melatonin on Amazon etc aren't as you can only get it on prescription in the UK)

I’m right there with you 🤣 I’m going through a break up so that’s my excuse at the minute. I don’t drink every night though but I struggle not to finish the bottle when I do 🥴

You need to figure out why you need alcohol to sleep it has become a crutch find out why you need the crutch and replace it with something less harmful. You will have way better sleep without alcohol

I must admit I have a much better sleep when I don’t drink. For me it’s opening a bottle whilst cooking tea, I need to get rid of the association.

How much wine are you drinking ? It sounds like you may need support to stop. Consider speaking to your GP.
If it's only small amounts of wine then it's easier to stop yourself. Tips include:

• do something in the evening that doesn't involve wine (cinema, hobby) so that by the time you get back home it's just time to go to bed. Note this excludes pub or dinner out !
• use sleep aids to try to get to sleep. I use the sleep stories on the Calm app but there's loads of stuff out there free to use. Mysleepbutton or shipping forecast that sort of thing
• try drinking an alternative lo or no alcohol drink. Wine is tough though as most are terrible ! There's a Noseco which is decent but red wine impossible to get an alternative that is nice. I drink kombucha or a fake G&T which I quite enjoy as a sort of no alcohol but grown up drink
• look at the circumstances that make you reach for the wine and see if you can change that. Is it an open bottle, then throw it out or freeze for use in cooking. Is it the way to unwind after work, then go to the gym or do yoga. That sort of thing

Wine making you sleep is very very normal. And if you’re used to it not sleeping of you have a night off very common. It’s just a physical thing. She just needs to stay off it for awhile and reset.

I know it helps you get to sleep but doesn't give you quality sleep. She does need to stop using it to get to sleep, and see how she gets on and what else could she try that is less harmful.

do something in the evening that doesn't involve wine (cinema, hobby) so that by the time you get back home it's just time to go to bed. Note this excludes pub or dinner out !

Whilst that's not bad advice @Andwegoroundagain , most people can't go out every night after work - especially not until bedtime!

I used to be like this but I now sleep soooooo much better having stopped drinking completely.

It takes a while to adjust and the first week or two was pretty rubbish sleep wise but the trade
Off was so worth it.

How much do you drink each evening? Honestly - this is anonymous so don't give us the Doctors answer

Likely that the sleep you are getting now is terrible so you'll feel better on 4 hours of sober sleep than 6-8 of drunk sleep.

Agree change your routine completely and try brushing your teeth and / or going to bed really early. Any friends or relatives who aren't drinkers who you could engineer a visit to for a few days to help break the cycle??

You sound OP as though you are not 100% convinced that you want to break the habit: you are still seeing positives in drinking if you are telling yourself you need alcohol to sleep. You really don't.

I do think to successfully kick the drinking habit you really have to concentrate on the negatives : the damage the alcohol is doing physically to your body and also to your brain, the economic cost etc.

All my life I used alcohol to self medicate but I successfully quit nearly 2 years ago because I realised I was starting to see the physical effects of my drinking.

I used every incentive I could to replace the reward that alcohol gave me with other things. I'll admit this involved sweeties and chocolate initially but the biggest reward I got was feeling so much better physically and mentally and I lost so much weight from giving up alcohol. In fact knowing I'll pile weight back on if I start drinking again has been a big factor in being able to stay alcohol free.

You can quit the the habit. You can do this. Focus on the positives of not drinking rather than the wrongly perceived reasons for continuing to use alcohol in the way you are.

possibly not what others would recommend but I would say cut down slowly. Start drinking later in the evening, and have just a glass. Buy a half bottle instead of a bottle. Then move down to the mini bottles. You can get 250ml bottles and you can get smaller 187ml bottles - make the bottle sizes smaller and only have one in at a time so you can't go out and get more.

Then move just having a mini bottle to every other night or weekends only.

It's a different approach to the "just stop completely" but it works for me and also if you move it to just weekends, but a small amount, you have something to look forwards to without thinking everything fun has ended!

Get a non-alcoholic drink to replace it with that still feels special.

e.g. one of those fancy belvoir fizzy waters/ cordials. Fever tree tonics can be really nice on their own. Or just try a non alcoholic wine.

Have that in a wine glass and tell yourself that it's a treat/ your 'me time', and see if you can still manage to relax with it. Do something you find relaxing whilst you have it like reading a book, having a bath or whatever.

What you are likely after is the psychological hit of 'winding down' and 'me-time' - you can get that in other ways than alcohol, you just need to find what works for you.

I find the best way to avoid drinking is not having it in the house.

It’s weird because I think the wine culture in mums has become the norm so we kind of justify it by thinking we deserve it after a hard day with the kids. I am starting to see how much clearer I am in the morning and that has been enough for me for maybe go 3 days without a drink each week, but then the cycle starts again. I actually only enjoy the first 2 glasses and unsure why I pour the next one.

Try "the alcohol experiment" it is a free day by day thing which lasts a month's and helps talk you through why people drink and whether it is still something you want to do or not. Really helped me.

https://www.changegrowlive.org/advice-info/alcohol-drugs/alcohol-drinking-levels-quiz-self-assessment

You are alcohol dependent, you need AA

Could you switch to a low abv wine then drop down to an alcohol free wine?

I started drinking freezing cold tonic water as my 'special' evening drink and it really helped

another vte for fever tree. I didnt have an alcohol issue. I went dry when my late husband was ill and I might have had to take him to hospital at any time, but I was addicted to cola. I can't tolerate sweeteners and my sugar intake was through the roof. Fever Tree is not sugar free but much lower in sugar. There is also a huge variety of flavours.

I would only suggest AA if you have tried to quit and not managed to be able to?

How much are you drinking? I suppose it’s not so much the quantity but that fact you cannot manage to stop? Have you tried to give it up?

You don't know that. And not everyone benefits from AA, though I appreciate many do.