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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is so wrong but also quite funny at the same time

88 replies

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 10:05

We went to DHs aunt and uncles for DHs uncles birthday last night for a meal. His uncle is known for being very uptight and anti kids so we did not take DS (he is also a bit poorly after having chicken pox) so my mum came to look after him.

Any way we got there and there were two tables set out. One for adults and one for kids. Turns out the kids table for us and DHs other cousins some of whom are married some of whom are not but we are all over the age of 30!!!

We were told to not make a fuss by DHs mum as we know how the uncle is so we all sat on this kids table trying not to laugh. While the “real growns ups” sat together. We all got smaller potions as well. We did takeaway on the way home.

So wrong yet I keep laughing when I think about it and DH and I laughed all the way home. God knows where he would have put DS if we had brought him. Maybe in the garage

OP posts:
Threewheeler1 · 09/09/2024 11:25

😂😂😂
Thank you for this, it's so funny!
I'm the youngest of all my siblings and 22 cousins so always felt as though people struggled to see me as an adult. 51 now and still feel like this at times!

AgileGreenSeal · 09/09/2024 11:30
Hungry Food GIF

.

armadillio · 09/09/2024 11:44

HeyPrestoAlakazam · 09/09/2024 10:16

I am the youngest in the family (siblings AND cousins).

I never graduated from the "children's table" and I became very frustrated about it, as did my parents. Being 25 and forced to sit on a table with 1-12 year olds was ridiculous. Most of my sibs and cousins are 10-20 years older.

I was the person who cared for my grandparents until their deaths and I arranged most of the funerals when I was 28/30. At their wakes and the family meals around this time, I was still being excluded from the "grown ups" conversations and I was very hurt. Whenever I'd try to contribute a comment, cousins and siblings would give me a sort of bemused look, like they were just humouring me then would get back to the "proper adult conversation". When others were drinking I was frequently offered a soft drink..."We have some Pepsi Max or Sprite in the fridge if you'd like Presto?"

I was used as a free babysitter at most family events for years, looking after the next generations while my siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles caught up and never involved me. I realised they didn't know me as an adult and had no interest in getting to know me as an adult. I was always going to be the "baby". I stopped making an effort with most of them ones my grandparents were gone. It was so rude and hurtful and I have to say I'm better off without them.

That’s awful. Did no one stand up for you? I’ve seen people try and treat older teens like nieces and nephews as the hired help at family events (whilst sparing their own teens) and I or the parent step in and extricate them.

Also, why were you expected to care for DGPs? Why not the older siblings?

HeyPrestoAlakazam · 09/09/2024 11:49

armadillio · 09/09/2024 11:44

That’s awful. Did no one stand up for you? I’ve seen people try and treat older teens like nieces and nephews as the hired help at family events (whilst sparing their own teens) and I or the parent step in and extricate them.

Also, why were you expected to care for DGPs? Why not the older siblings?

Show quote history

I was the only single and childless one and hadn't got my career started when they first needed care as I was just about to graduate. Everyone else was "too busy" and they weren't expected to live as long as they did.

My parents tried to stick up for me but they were outnumbered. In the end I just stopped being available to attend family events, so they had to watch their own kids rather than use me as their skivvy. And none of them bothered to stay in touch.

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 09/09/2024 11:54

Natwestbit · 09/09/2024 10:54

With different food served in smaller portions?? That's a bit difficult to understand isn't it?

Show quote history

But the whole point of the story is that it’s weird. Otherwise it’s just a meal where people were spread across two tables.

MidYearDiary · 09/09/2024 12:02

NiceCutRoundDomeDormice · 09/09/2024 11:54

But the whole point of the story is that it’s weird. Otherwise it’s just a meal where people were spread across two tables.

Show quote history

Yes, and it would be perfectly natural to seat the generations together. I know I'd rather sit with my cousins than my parents' generation at a big family get-together because I see them far less often. So in fact it was just two tables, one of younger adults, and one of older adults. Not a little plastic kiddie table with watered-down squash and balloon animals.

And yes, if the 'young' table really thought its portions were meagre, was it not possible to ask for a second helping? Speak up, adult people.

I

Original poster
littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:49

Sorry not been back been out all day and only just got in. We were told it was the kids table and who had to sit there. It’s was an indoor bbq type but DHs uncle always plates up for everyone (I know I know) and we on the kids table got smaller amounts to eat.
My DH is also not allowed red wine as he spilt some on there carpet when he was 18. He is now 42

OP posts:
Original poster
littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:50

And he hates me asking for it because I am epileptic. He dare not say no though or he would look a total arsehole.

OP posts:
Original poster
littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:52

Everyone has always laughed about this uncle and his ways. They put up with him for the sake of DHs aunt who is lovely. Got the amount of time we see them it’s not worth upsetting him and he will be grumpy with DHs aunty for ages

OP posts:
nOasistickets · 09/09/2024 19:52

Sorry im confused, your uncle made you sit at the kids table and served you kids portions? And this is funny? Or..? Was this some family joke or something?

Sheelanogig · 09/09/2024 20:02

Oh OP, bet you 'children' couldn't make eye contact for fear of giggling loudly.

You've reminded me of my grandparents parties. Grown ups at one table and at a little table with little chairs were the children with my lovely Grandad who would eat with us, 'supervising us' on a little chair.

As the elder children hit their teens they'd graduate up to the grown up table but Grandad always remained with the little ones. Guests from outside the family must have thought we were bonkers.

Toomanyemails · 09/09/2024 20:08

littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 19:49

Sorry not been back been out all day and only just got in. We were told it was the kids table and who had to sit there. It’s was an indoor bbq type but DHs uncle always plates up for everyone (I know I know) and we on the kids table got smaller amounts to eat.
My DH is also not allowed red wine as he spilt some on there carpet when he was 18. He is now 42

Was it the kids' table as in, you are all the children of the older generation in the family, so they seated each generation together? That sounds normal and I can see this being a harmless quip but your uncle sounds a bit unusual! I absolutely relate to your DH being branded for life for the spill 😂

rumblegrumble · 09/09/2024 20:16

Aw, I'd love that, I miss the kids table! Did you get jelly and ice cream?!

Original poster
littleredbumblebee · 09/09/2024 22:27

No if you knew him you would realise he meant kids table as we were kids- no joke. He seems to see everyone who came after his generation as kids. He is a very strange man.

OP posts:
EmeraldRoulette · 09/09/2024 22:29

I don’t get the joke and think that guy must be unwell.

jcyclops · 10/09/2024 00:20

Did you have to put your hand up and ask the senior's if you could go pee-pee? (I couldn't have resisted this)

OrangeJeans · 10/09/2024 12:13

jcyclops · 10/09/2024 00:20

Did you have to put your hand up and ask the senior's if you could go pee-pee? (I couldn't have resisted this)

Wonder if they got jelly and icecream while the adults got tiramasu.

I hope you had a good party bag OP.

Spomb · 10/09/2024 12:30

I don’t get it, or maybe my family are weird, but if there were two tables my mum or dad may say, ‘you guys can go on the kids table!’, as we are their children! Two generational tables sounds normal to me and then you won’t have to spend time with the uncle you don’t seem to like. There would probably be a chuckle, but unlikely people would be rolling around laughing in the aisles or all the way home in the car, or still laughing days later!

MidYearDiary · 10/09/2024 12:59

Spomb · 10/09/2024 12:30

I don’t get it, or maybe my family are weird, but if there were two tables my mum or dad may say, ‘you guys can go on the kids table!’, as we are their children! Two generational tables sounds normal to me and then you won’t have to spend time with the uncle you don’t seem to like. There would probably be a chuckle, but unlikely people would be rolling around laughing in the aisles or all the way home in the car, or still laughing days later!

Yes, it seems pretty uncontroversial to me, too. Even if there were one big table, it would be perfectly normal for the younger generation to gravitate to one end.

steptheskip · 10/09/2024 19:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AliBl · 13/09/2024 11:05

I had a friend who used to visit the aunt and uncle and they made tea for themselves ( didn’t offer her any) but gave her weak orange juice, half filled ( in case she spilt it!) she was in her thirties! Ha ha- hilarious.

BlondeAussie · 13/09/2024 11:07

jetbot · 09/09/2024 10:13

and why did they have kids portions? surely they were ordering their own food?!

Show quote history

We went to DHs aunt and uncles for DHs uncles birthday

The event was at a private home, not a restaurant. Presumably the host portioned out the food.

Beth216 · 13/09/2024 11:12

So everyone tiptoes around the horrid uncle to prevent him from being even more abusive to your lovely aunt after you leave?

It doesn't sound so funny really.

AuntieLemonade · 13/09/2024 11:12

The sense of humour by-pass and literality of people in this group is such a mood hoover… this is a bizarre and funny story of a weird situation and you styled it out well. Please take colouring books and crayons next time and ask for jelly and ice cream for desert (and cry if it’s not forthcoming). Getting sent home early to bed from this “party” would be a godsend… 🤣

Anonym00se · 13/09/2024 11:15

jetbot · 09/09/2024 10:10

and they’d pre ordered meals for everyone?

They were at the Aunt’s/Uncle’s house, not a restaurant.