My voice is holding me back in life

[Jeeeoo]

I have been told many times over the years that I sound young. I also know I sound a bit whiny although nobody has ever said that to me.

I can hear it on videos etc and I really do sound like I’m quite immature. I’m an accountant at one of the big four and it’s often commented on by clients on the phone, ‘you sound young are you newly qualified’ etc. I’m 38.

I don’t have an accent and someone told me that probably adds to the innocent vibe that links to sounding young. I try to speak more slowly and with more gravitas but I honestly can’t stop the edge of whiny and young coming through. Any help?!

If you are really unhappy then you could get some voice coaching... otherwise you are just going to have to put with it.

@NiggleNoggle is that a thing?! I will look into it thanks

Voice coaching might be useful - perhaps you could learn to change where the pitch rises and falls, or it's a case of learning breathing technique to sound more secure and assertive. It's the sort of thing that actors need to learn for particular characters.

Probably not the best role model but Margaret Thatcher had voice coaching for exactly that reason. Deepened her voice by a lot.

I have the same problem OP, nobody listens to me (especially men). If I suggest something intelligent everyone usually ignores me and then a random man will repeat it and everybody will agree with him. It’s frustrating and I don’t know what the solution is.

Voice coaching. I also sound young and it’s annoying as fuck.

Margaret Thatcher had voice coaching to lower the pitch of her voice, in order to be taken seriously by the men around her.

I can sympathise with it as an issue, but to me it’s incredibly insulting, it’s not your problem, the people who make assumptions based on your voice problem.

I used to adapt my ‘typically thick’ east London accent as it would often be mocked. I did this for years, but into my 30s I grew sick of it – my accent does not signal my abilities and anyone who thinks it does can bugger off. I speak with my original accent now and if anyone mocks it (and they still do occasionally) I let them know it’s not acceptable.

Nasal speech tends to sound whiny: if this is a longstanding problem it might be worth an ENT appointment, to see whether it’s being caused by something like adenoids or sinusitis, or a structural issue with your palate. Other than that, definitely voice coaching which helps focus on your tone, pitch and inflection.

Thanks. I do think it needs to be a bit deeper. It’s also the tone though. I have to work really hard to sound sure of myself. I hate it so much and it doesn’t help me career wise at all!

Definitely, one of my directors had coaching as part of professional development ( for presentations) which helped immensely.

He said he enjoyed doing it too.

I have a friend like this she has really high almost teenage voice, it’s unfortunate as she just sounds really highly strung all the time! I mean she quite highly strung. I’ve got used to it over time but not sure how you could change it.

Ever tried singing in a choir? It really helps to teach you where your voice is strongest and once you've learned to support your voice so that it comes out rich and full and you are confident that the sound that comes out is exactly what you want, that technique carries into speaking.

I also want to have voice coaching for similar reasons and I’m older than you.

I’m sick of men at work who take themselves more seriously than me and ar heard more than me, because they make the same points (or even weaker points) in their slow, serious voices full of gravitas. I’ve tried hard to beat them and had some success and now want to join them.

I’m also hampered by a regional accent that I’m proud of (and it’s unusual in my workplace - most Brits speak RP), so I want to learn how to speak with influence but without losing my accent.

I know of other women who’ve had voice coaching and been pleased with the results. Michelle Obama is a more contemporary famous woman. She wasn’t naturally an effective public speaker. Look at her now!

I'm like this, so I make an effort to speak in a low voice when I feel the need to. I like to sing when I'm on my own, and I think it helped me overall to practice singing in low tones

Also, not sounding sure of yourself- try to just be very serious when talking, and talk slowly

I used to record myself before I had to do a presentation or say something at a formal meeting, mainly because of nerves. I found my accent was much stronger than I thought it was and sometimes I had a strange inflexion to my voice or I would repeat a word like ‘right.’ Anyway practise saying your piece a few times and you get more confident and more aware of your voice and generally you can improve really quickly.

If it’s the actual pitch of your voice that’s a problem then yes to voice coaching too.

What do you mean when you day you don’t have an accent and this contributes to you sounding young? Everyone has an accent, not sure how it could make you seem older or younger.

Both Margaret Thatcher and the late Queen had voice coaching to lower their voices, and I dare say a lot of other famous people have too.

I deliberately, consciously lower my voice at work. It can be done.

As others have said, you can have voice lessons to change or improve your voice. You can also do things to help yourself such as reading aloud favourite passages from a book or speeches from plays or reciting poetry or singing. Experiment with different ways of doing it, high or low, soft or sharp.

I listen to songs and sing a lot, trying to emulate the singer or the version of the song I'd like to be able to sing. This attunes you to key and pitch and the ways you can play with it, trying out different sounds, adding weight and depth to your voice and altering how you use it. You could also listen to programmes on the radio, tuning in to how the actors or impersonators use their voices, altering pitch and tone for different characters.

Voice coaching - politicians do it all the time.

Have a look at the website of a lady called Janie Van Hool.

Hope one of the suggestions works, cruel as it is to have the response you get.

My voice was higher pitched than it is now. (You might find yours will drop naturally as you get older). I'm now in my early 70s, but when I was younger, I deliberately lowered the pitch and tried to speak more slowly.

If I have an important conversation on the phone where I need to assert myself or advocate for a family member, I always stand up rather than sit as I think this helps with sounding more confident.

I have always loved the actor Lindsay Duncan's voice. Lots of interviews on YouTube.

Whisky and cigarettes