My voice is holding me back in life

[Jeeeoo]

I have been told many times over the years that I sound young. I also know I sound a bit whiny although nobody has ever said that to me.

I can hear it on videos etc and I really do sound like I’m quite immature. I’m an accountant at one of the big four and it’s often commented on by clients on the phone, ‘you sound young are you newly qualified’ etc. I’m 38.

I don’t have an accent and someone told me that probably adds to the innocent vibe that links to sounding young. I try to speak more slowly and with more gravitas but I honestly can’t stop the edge of whiny and young coming through. Any help?!

I have slight voice issues, I never pronounced my rs totally properly, s sound isn’t great and I sound young. As an author it sucks because of live videos, reading my book out etc but after years of paranoia (and speech classes) I just gave up on it! I have to repeat myself the odd time but it doesn’t make me crazy anymore. I honestly think just own it (and no it’s not that easy believe me!!)

Voice coach

Get some voice coaching if it bothers you.

It’s very common for women in the US, in areas where voices are pitched higher

You won’t end up sounding like Maggie T before you panic, she took it a little far.

If you sound unsure of yourself, are you using a rising inflection/upspeak (where your voice goes up at the end of a sentence, making a statement sound like a question)?

This gives some great examples www.masterclass.com/articles/upspeak-explained

I'd really recommend voice coaching, and maybe if you have a trusted colleague, get some feedback on specific actions you take in meetings that give this impression. I did this and it really helped my awareness of how I came across ( my warm smiley and helpful nature was coming across as subservient and junior)

@Orangepolentacake 😂

Everyone has an accent.

If yours is bothering you, definitely look into voice coaching.

Google Roger Love. He’s a voice coach.

Everyone has an accent surely?! Not the point, I appreciate!

Absolutely. What do you mean by that OP?

RP is an accent, what people think of as "standard SE England" is an accent.

I had a similar voice, the sort where if someone unknown phoned back on the landline days, they’d ask to speak to my parents. I had voice coaching. It worked well!

Voice coach is who you need. And join a choir to explore singing and finding your voice.

Why are lower pitched voices taken more seriously, I wonder?

Sorry you're feeling self conscious about it OP but it says a lot about the society we're living in if women need to learn to speak more like men to be taken seriously.

Because we live in a patriarchy!

I think that was @NamelessNancy ’s point !

I agree that some vocal techniques might help. One is to say something simple out loud a few times and then elongate one of the words into a note so you are singing at the pitch you speak at.

E.g. Say 'Good Morning' a few times in your normal voice and then next time you say it, say 'Goooooooooooooooood morning , so you discover in the 'ooh' sound the musical pitch at which you speak. Then sing down by a couple of notes and then reduce the singing notes until they are short enough to be spoken, so you are speaking at a slightly lower pitch. (Don't go too low. You don't want to sound like Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos.)

Another thing is to get rid of the breathiness in your voice. Try saying 'ha ha ha' very breathily, less breathily and get a sense of where your voice resonates (For me breathy is more resonant in the throat and much less breathy is resonant in the roof of the mouth.) Practise speaking with a bit less breath and more tone.

But not too much. You are who you are. You don't want to sound false.

It also depends on your physicality. If you are quite petite with a small neck and rib cage then your vocal chords are physically smaller and your voice will be higher pitch.

That's why little children have higher voices that deepen with age.

As you cannot alter your physical set up it would be productive to find a vocal coach as they are experts in this.

I found one when I was struggling to be understood at work. My accent seemed to be impossible for people to understand. Vocal coach showed me why and how to counteract it.