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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband didn't contribute towards sons 13th Birthday

64 replies

Anon242308 · 07/09/2024 04:48

Hi
My husband of 16 years said he couldn't afford to financially contribute anything towards our sons 13th birthday. He is terrible with money and can't budget. I often help keep him afloat financially. So I got everything needed cards, balloons, cake, decorations and all his gifts. He promised when he got paid he'd pay half towards what it cost. I'd lent him some money that he paid me back once he got paid but didn't offer to pay anything towards out sons birthday. It's a big birthday and I wanted to spoil him a bit and he was chuffed on his big day! My husband also recently cheated on me with strippers and was taking cocaine. I threw him out for 3 weeks then decided to give him another chance. He's been having a go at me lately for not making the effort to work on our relationship but who can blame me. I feel like his priorities are all wrong and I should've just moved on while I had the chance. I do love him but feel like I'm doing everything on my own. It stresses me out so much. He always uses his MH as an excuse and while I have been patient it's starting to wear thin now. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
terriblyangryattimes · 07/09/2024 10:51

Talk about burying the lead.
Ltb

Hatty65 · 07/09/2024 10:55

My husband also recently cheated on me with strippers and was taking cocaine.

Well, there's your answer right there. He's not 'terrible with money' is he? He's good with spending it on what he prioritises and then borrowing off you.

Get rid, for God's sake.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 07/09/2024 11:24

You've written your post the wrong way around @Anon242308 ....

My husband recently cheated on me with strippers, and has spent all of his money on them and on cocaine. He had no money for our sons 13th birthday, so everything fell to me. He's now complaining I don't work hard enough on our relationship I.e. have sex. What should I do?

Answer: Big massive LTB

CLEO42 · 07/09/2024 11:29

I voted YABU because it is incredibly unreasonable of you to accept this person as a continuing partner in your life. I’m struggling to imagine why any woman would put up with this.

You should know that you deserve better

Justcallmebebes · 07/09/2024 11:54

I wouldn't touch him with a disinfected bargepole and can't see for the life of me why you took him back

And no, never been in this position and never likely to be

notatinydancer · 07/09/2024 14:26

You have way bigger problems than him not paying towards a present.

Ribenaberry12 · 07/09/2024 14:35

Kick him to the kerb, you don’t need him.

Spirallingdownwards · 07/09/2024 14:42

That took a weird turn!

I was going to say you knew he couldn't afford much but decided to splash out anyway on a non big birthday. Sorry 13 just isn't a big birthday. But you made the choice to spend that so that is on you.

That's still the case to some extent. But deciding to stay with your partner is a choice you can still make now or in the future.

Shouldbedoing · 07/09/2024 14:59

I read as far as strippers and coke.

Kick this useless piece of shit out. Your lives will improve, I guarantee it.

CloudywMeatballs · 07/09/2024 15:02

I voted YABU because you're still with this man, and your main concern is how much money he spent on your son's "big" birthday (by the way, 13 isn't a big birthday!) rather than the cocaine and strippers.

Blanca87 · 07/09/2024 15:07

Another day, another cock lodging thread, with cheating to boot. I despair for womenkind, I really do. Hope this is the last straw to set your free, op. There is a wonderful world out there, minus dick splats like your husband which is bringing you and your son down.

Pandasandtigers · 07/09/2024 15:09

He sees your weak and totally exploiting you.

Merryoldgoat · 07/09/2024 15:11

Yeah. Ok 🤨

Normallynumb · 07/09/2024 15:27

You are literally paying to keep your disgusting husband!!!
Get rid for good now and divorce him
Your DS's 14th birthday will be lovely and both of you will be so much happier
In the future

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