To be angry with DDs school, she hasn't even started yet

[Downandout21]

Supposed to have a visit today from DDs teacher who is starting reception Monday.

I took an afternoon off unpaid to ensure I can give full attention. Appointment was 2.45. At 3 I called the school to ensure they had the correct address. The receptionist stated she would call me back when she finds out what going on.

It's not 16.00, no teacher and no phone call I've tried the school again but now just going to answer phone.

DD has expected the visit all day.

AIBU to be fuming

Not fancy - is what every school does in our county as recommended by the local authority.

I wouldn’t want a home visit. Judgy bastards and I live in comparative luxury to many people in this country.

On the face of it, it is rude, but perhaps reserve judgement until you know why. If there isn’t a good reason, I’d be pretty annoyed though.

I think home visits prior to starting, have been the norm for a while, but I don’t suppose they’re universal.

That’s not stealth boasting just pointing out that there is no need to visit a home and if I did live in more difficult circumstances that this would make me feel really bad.

Yes I'd be annoyed and I wouldn't allow the appointment to be rescheduled either.

I would imagine the teacher has been held at ransom by someone unburdening their whole life story to them at great length - hard to get out of these situations politely especially if someone is clearly distressed or in need of help and impossible to make a phone call during the conversation! I say that as someone who has had to sit helplessly while everyone else around them packed up and left at parents’ evening because one appointment was going very much over time because of a sensitive conversation that couldn’t easily be cut short without seeming hugely heartless.

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that they are being rude. There might have been some kind of mix up somewhere or some other reason why the teacher was held at school.

Did the teacher make the appointment with you directly or did it go through the office?

Try not to show your frustration in front of DD as she may get the idea that school is bad and makes Mummy cross.

Another that would assume something came up-annoying you stayed home and that your ds was disappointed but I don’t think I’d write off a school as a result

It depends on your area - I did home visits for years (recently retired Reception teacher). The purpose is to meet the child on their own territory so they feel more at ease as they are in a familiar space. Also an opportunity for parents to ask any questions they might have in a less formal setting and with no one else around. Some people find that easier in their own home than in school itself. The children also had loads of opportunities to spend time in the classroom before they started school properly so the hope was that they felt as at ease as possible on the first day.
Most children love that you’ve been to their house and would often talk about it later in the year. I can understand parents not wanting it (it was always the offer of a home visit rather than a requirement) but in reality very few people didn’t sign up for one. It was also a lovely way to build a good relationship with parents right from the start.

I meant to add that I ALWAYS phoned if I’d got stuck in traffic or whatever and would have been absolutely mortified if I’d been later than about 20 mins so I think there’s been a system failure here….

Along with many others, I would assume something happened to the teacher that meant she couldn’t make it. It’s still really poor form for the school not to have kept you informed, especially after you phoned the office and, sadly, doesn’t bode well for future engagement.

I had a visit 24 years ago for my daughter so definitely not new in this area it was a lovely way for my DD to meet her new teacher.

DS is almost 19 years old

we had a visit from the teacher before he started reception

Indication of things to come - run away and change school.

No there are at least 10 threads about this for various reasons.

I had the opposite. School teacher turned up at my house, but they hadn't said they were coming, so I was at work and DD was at nursery.

Sometimes stuff can go wrong. Teacher steps into a situation with a parent who is really upset about their kid's SEND and is suddenly pulling out hankies. Teacher steps into a house and realises she needs to call social services right now, today. Teacher has a car accident on the way over. Teacher steps into a house and realises parent needs immediate medical help.

It shouldn't be a common occurrence but if someone kicks into emergency mode remembering to call and cancel all other appointments might be missed, and if the receptionist couldn't get hold of teacher then there was no update to give you.

Deep breath, start Monday with a fresh start.

We had a home visit today, didn't have one for my eldest even though same school. Just depends on school policy. I didn't find it a problem or that they were judgy lol

I would be irritated but fuming is a complete overreaction. Calm down.

@Cantfindthewordsddstruggling

what 'very good reason' could there be for not calling to say they're sorry but they can't make it today??

No excuse for not phoning.

Any repeat I suggest making a formal complaint. Getting time off is easier for some people than others, also for certain professions/jobs.

My ds had a home visit on weds. Certainly not a fancy school! It's normal now

And she will forget all about it the next day... The child will not remain traumatised by Mum being angry for 5 minutes.

I don't live in the UK, and the idea of a teacher making a home visit is very strange to me! It does feel very intrusive. And it seems incredibly inefficient. Wouldn't it make more sense for families to go to the school to meet the teacher?

But, given that it is apparently a thing, and you had an appointment OP, I would also be annoyed not to be informed of any changes in plans/traffic holdups etc.