Would it BU of us to write our Will this way?

[WillOrNot]

NC for this

My husband is an only child, as are both of his parents so there’s literally no family on his side (parents Uncles/Aunts long since gone, never known any of their kids)

I have several siblings, I’m the only one who is child free. Siblings are comfortable financially - mortgage free, holidays abroad etc. Except one who rents a room in a shared house. He’s made some bad decisions over the years but he’s also had some bad luck

We’re thinking that we might say he can live in our house rent free for as long as he needs to and then it’s to be sold and the money split between our army of nieces and nephews. This would of course mean that they’d have to wait for their money, which we know that they’re expecting because of comments made over the years (although we’ve never said what our plans are)

I’d really appreciate outside opinions on this, and any possible issues anyone can think if we do go down this route

We’re obviously aware that these things can cause huge upset for the people left behind, which we don’t want to do, but we ultimately feel that it’s our choice and no one is entitled to anything

Would I lt be easier to leave an amount to him and then split rest between dns? So he could use it as he chooses.

Or split it between him and dns.

By giving him a free rental he is restricted to where he lives. It may not be suitable for work/ relationship. In which case the house is sold and he gets nothing.

Family may also pressure him to sell/ fall out with him.

This is the best advice I’ve seen so far.

Get everything liquidated & leave him a share. He can then use it for a deposit for a better rental or whatever his need is at the time.

If he lives rent free who is going to maintain the place? It could cause a lot of stress for your extended family/inheritors at the time the roof starts leaking, the boiler fails, the windows fall apart. Who will sort and pay for that?

No kids and just changed our wills leaving everything to each other and then split evenly between 10 reputable charities. None of our relatives needs our money. We've been very good to them in the past but it's all been taken for granted and the favours continue to go one way. Decided none of our lot deserve to inherit from us and we're happy that our money will benefit people who really do need some help.

They have no right to your money. It might feel different if they were your children but they're not so tough luck if they don't like it. They should be grateful for anything they get!

Slightly different situation but my Mum left her house to me and my brother with the proviso that her partner can live there for as long as he wants - we can't sell it without his written permission. His daughter has his POA and is determined not to make things easy for us.
I don't really care about the money, my Mum had an illness that meant I assumed anything she had would be needed for care so I was expecting nothing at all BUT its a very difficult situation for the following reasons
Me and DBro have no closure, all my Mums things are there and he has completely neglected the garden that meant so much to her. I don't visit as its too hard (appreciate this probably won't be an issue as you don't have DC)
He has dementia and there are carers going regularly but he would actually be better in a home (my Mum actually said that to me before she died) but because he has somewhere to live he can't access the help he needs. In the 6 months before she died they had started discussing moving to sheltered housing or similar and they were getting to that point of needing it I think
The house is starting to deteriorate and getting him to maintain it (a condition of the will) is difficult as we have to deal with his daughter who sees no reason to
Its a struggle to get him to pay any costs associated with the house such as management charges, again this is a condition of the will.
With hindsight my Mum should have really put a time limit on it but we always assumed he would die first as he is older than she was with a couple of health conditions. IF she had done this then he could have done a slow transition into somewhere where he is more supported with regular company and proper care instead of stubbornly living in a house where he is mostly alone surrounded by reminders of my Mum and carers calling in for 15 minutes at a time that will increasingly not meet his needs - its too big and he is starting to struggle with stairs.
Before anyone criticises me for not doing more I don't like him and tolerated him for my Mum and he has 2 daughters and 4 nephews who can help him if they choose to.

This.

I think you and your partner are lovely people considering everyone's needs. I have a large family and one of my siblings struggles much more than the rest of us, all of us always try to help her. In your position, I would leave 50% to my DB and share the remaining to your nieces and nephews. I think leaving him to live his days out has problems. They also have an inheritance coming from their parents, I would assume, so I think this is fair. You see what people are really like when money is involved.