Would it BU of us to write our Will this way?

[WillOrNot]

NC for this

My husband is an only child, as are both of his parents so there’s literally no family on his side (parents Uncles/Aunts long since gone, never known any of their kids)

I have several siblings, I’m the only one who is child free. Siblings are comfortable financially - mortgage free, holidays abroad etc. Except one who rents a room in a shared house. He’s made some bad decisions over the years but he’s also had some bad luck

We’re thinking that we might say he can live in our house rent free for as long as he needs to and then it’s to be sold and the money split between our army of nieces and nephews. This would of course mean that they’d have to wait for their money, which we know that they’re expecting because of comments made over the years (although we’ve never said what our plans are)

I’d really appreciate outside opinions on this, and any possible issues anyone can think if we do go down this route

We’re obviously aware that these things can cause huge upset for the people left behind, which we don’t want to do, but we ultimately feel that it’s our choice and no one is entitled to anything

I'd leave a token amount to your nieces and nephews and the rest to your brother.

I think parents need to treat their children the same in most circumstances, wider family are different.

which we know that they’re expecting because of comments made over the years
nothing for them then!!
Dependent on the value of your home; if enough could it be sold with enough to your DB to buy a flat and if you wanted leave small amounts to the grabby gang?
If he's had struggles, taking in a house might be overwhelming and costly for him. You could draw up a trust where the money is managed and the house sale etc taken care of and that way you'd know a flat would definitely be secured for him.

Brother could leave the estate to the donkey sanctuary. If OP wants her nieces and nephews to inherit eventually, a trust would achieve that

We have seriously considered leaving it all to charity, we’d actually like to do that but we know that’d cause resentment

I actually had a thread on here about it and strangely enough lots of people said I was BU not to leave everything to family, although many also said different

If your DB lives locally and the house would suit his needs then it could work.

But it’s surely better to leave your DB a good chunk of your inheritance (50%?) to buy a flat and then split the remainder between your nieces and nephews.

Your nieces and nephews will get inheritance from their parents, who sound comfortably off and so they’re unlikely to need your inheritance. They also sound very entitled if they’re expecting it.

It would probably make the most difference to the life of your DB. He’s the one who needs it most and you could give him the gift of a comfortable future. It also has much more value for him to be able to choose a place of his own than feeling like he’s squatting in his deceased sister’s house.

Your nieces and nephews are making “comments” that they’re expecting an inheritance? How rude!

Jeez I have a childfree sibling, I’ve never thought about their assets, it’s so grabby.

”It would probably make the most difference to the life of your DB. He’s the one who needs it most and you could give him the gift of a comfortable future”

Our thoughts exactly @Veebee89

When your dead resentment is irrelevant.

What you need to do is think about what makes you happy and what you actually want. Put aside what any other person has said or intimated over the years and concentrate on what you both want.

You haven’t said what stage of life you are at either.

I do agree there’s massive grabbiness (is that even a word?) going on. As I said earlier, comments have been from some of my siblings rather than nieces and nephews but we do feel that some of them feel the same

I couldn’t imagine having such thoughts about someone else’s money

We’re all in our 50s, I’m the youngest

My friend has never married or had children and lives alone. Her sister is fine and her adult nephew has certainly made it known he expects to inherit everything of hers. She is asset rich and cash poor as has a small pension and has never ever lived with anyone so everything has been on her. She is thinking of doing equity release because she doesn’t care how much she leaves now because of his grabby attitude.

Not with a barge poll. The money will be spent on fees.
OP, I’d just leave him the house.
Your estate would get to the nephews nieces eventually and they deserve to wait for mentioning it to you. Greedy fuckers.

ViciousCurrentBun we have also considered equity release as well, not ruling that out

Is it possible for you to give your brother any help now while you are all alive, well and relatively young?

I'm not sure what help would be useful, maybe a pension review for him and looking at what plans he has for his old age. Or seeing it is possible to give him smaller amounts of money now to pass onto his children if it would be of use to them. There might be a small thing you can do now which will be of more help than possible help in the future if his younger sister predeceased him.

Cross posted - just seen you have mentioned potentially using equity release so my suggestion is likely not possible.

We’re not in a position to help him now, we definitely would if we could

Nice thought though

@WillOrNot sorry I didn't get to edit my post in time. I wouldn't have suggested it if I'd realised it wasn't possible.

As you get older you may need some support to live at home. One of your nieces/ nephews may step up to help you both from kindness not grabbing. You may want to leave it all to them. Also if you die first an inheritance from your unrelated dh may incur serious inheritance tax for your dB or even the others. It would in lreland anyway.
This may be a mad thought but could you sell your home now and buy 2 apartments. A small one that your DB lives in for his life and a bigger one for you both that can be distributed immediately after death.
A lot to think about.

A properly written immediate post death interest trust will provide for him to live there for his life, or to downsize, at which point any capital freed up can be distributed amongst the other beneficiaries, or held on trust with him entitled to its income (ie interest)

It needs to be done properly, and will then work fine, but only a solicitor can really draw up such a thing correctly.

My childless great uncle has written his will so that his estate is split evenly between his living nephews and his great nieces and nephews. That seems fairest.

Please don't leave anything to the grabby folk. Look after your brother.

I’d definitely leave everything to charity if that’s what you really want. Don’t tell your family, the resentment won’t matter if they don’t know in advance because you’ll be dead when they find out.

I would be thrilled if this was me. I’d AirBnB it straightaway, and live in SE Asia for the rest of my life.
Or turn it into a crack den. Not sure which.

"This would of course mean that they’d have to wait for their money, which we know that they’re expecting because of comments made over the years (although we’ve never said what our plans are)"

That is very predatory of them. I would not want to leave as much as a brass farthing to such people.

I think I'd start casually mentioning what my plans were. The plans I'd voice would be totally fictitious, involving donkey rescues, medical research, clean water - whatever charity request next comes through the post/on daytime TV. Let them get shirty at that, but I'd definitely introduce them all to the idea that they will be getting nothing.

I'd then draw up my will to have that brother as my sole beneficiary.

This has disaster written all over it! Just leave the house to him and let him decide where it goes in his will. Fuck the grabby ones who expect things, that's not on.