School not letting my child from the school

[Kutika]

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

We used to put her in the after-club. But with the new prices and other factors, it becomes quite expensive.

Well the issue kind of is that your DH's hours don't suit his childcare responsibilities at the moment.

A few posters have asked, what was the arrangement before this problem occurred?

@Kutika who collected her when she was in year 4?

Are you saying you work from home so are always in or that your husband and older child arrive home a similar time - if so is there a risk the child could be locked out/home alone if something held them up?

if you work from home I would continue to fight this but if you don’t and there is a risk I think you need to make arrangements to collect

what time are colllecting from asc? This might be proving to the school that the child will be home alone

why can't the school kid just walk home 300 yards?

Our school don't allow them to leave by themselves until Year 6. Thing is, it maybe 300m for your child but what about the next child who's a mile away. Do you expect them to measure distance and make special allowances for a shorter distance? How short? Other parents will complain and then they will have to allow all Year 5's.

I agree with the school. A rule is a rule.

I would be fuming too, both my kids walked home in year 5, and dd2 walked home in year 4. This is totally normal in most countries. Unless you are in Shetland and it's actually dark at home time, what is the difference to them to wait until April after all done dc will still be 9 then!

You could write to the chair of governors or academy trust, the LEA, your MP but I'm not sure if any of them will actually stand up for you because if something did happen they could be considered liable

Then your DH might have to ask his manager if he can have a shorter lunch break a couple of times per week.

So perhaps you could pay for the after school club on just a few days?

Oh and I'd love to know how you got the police involved in this?

You can't really escalate.

You and your husband just need to be bloody minded about it.

That's however parent I know for the last 20 years has managed to get their sensible child(ren) to be able to walk to and from school on their own before the age the school set. They didn't send numerous emails they just did it.

Big joke with my DDs school is that the head sends messages every year and a few times a year saying children not in year 6 can't walk to and from school on their own. There are a group of children who live in a block of flats right next to the school. Only those 8+ are sent to school on their own from the flats. Depending on the time the children leave they are actually going to school with some of their neighbours who are taking younger children, and even if they aren't their parents can see them going to school from their balconies.

Now all the ones defending your school on this thread would say why won't the parents walk the kids to the school ignoring the fact that lots of children are suffering from anxiety and are scared to do things as teens simply because they aren't allowed to do this reasonable task on their own which is actually age appropriate due to where they live.

@NeedSomeAnswersPlease

sre you unfamiliar with what 300m of pavement looks like? It's not 3 miles through a dodgy area & roads to cross,

most much younger children are allowed to walk 300m with no roads to cross to go to the newsagents.

@Kutika no other suggestion to what has already been suggested, but I'd be taking every option possible to make them allow it. It's fucking ridiculous.

There is no policy. I have requested to see if they could provide that information. They have other policies such as safeguarding, mobile phones and any other ones, not walking home.

All this drama over a walking home from school take it the holidays are over.
Schools are mad houses never liked schools never will.

The school cannot implement this legally. They have no right to dictate. Both primary schools mine have attended allowed children to walk home from year five. You’re not asking for anything untoward or odd. Sounds like they’re trying to scam you into using the ASC to me!

And we wonder why lots of children have mental health issues.

Thank you. Especially in this area, it's a new housing estate with a school inside. the area as an FB group that sees everything. Nearly everyone has a CCTV in place for even if you tried to hide you can't.

Is everyone missing the recent news that a group of kids beat up and killed an elderly man? It's not outside the realm of possibility that nine year old girl would be a target. That is not the same thing as never allowing a child independence

I agree!
How are we supposed to allow children to have some much needed and appropriate independence with policies like this in force?!

This seems to be a school dependent issue.

Our first primary school would let children walk home from year 5 with parental permission. I don't think I even had to say someone would be home. Our second primary would only allow this from year 6. Again, they didn't ask whether someone would be home.

My solution in year 5 at the second school was for another parent to collect my children from school, who walked in the same direction. We were friends though. Do you have a friend or close enough acquaintance who would do this for you?

Our school allow our 8 year old to walk home without being collected but we had to write a letter confirming that (again short walk no major roads and we have confidence that she can accomplish this safely/she is happy to do so & normally goes with friend who lives on our street).

It's not about being too lazy to collect it's about assisting your children to develop their independence - parents should be able to judge what's appropriate for their own children.

Send them something like:
I am writing to clarify my expectations regarding my daughter, and her ability to walk home from school on her own. After careful consideration, I have determined that daughter is responsible and capable of managing the journey home independently. As her parent, I am confident in her ability to do so safely, and I formally request that she be allowed to leave school at the end of the day without the need to be collected by an adult.

I recognise that the school has its own policies, but as her parent, I am the one who ultimately decides what is best for my child. Therefore, I expect my decision to be respected. If there are any specific concerns regarding this arrangement, I am open to discussing them, but I want to make it clear that my decision on this matter is final.

Furthermore, I have been made aware that daughter has been placed in the after-school club without my consent, and I have been expected to cover the associated costs. To avoid any confusion, I want to be very clear: I have not requested or authorised her participation in the after-school club, and I will not be responsible for any charges related to this.

If you should call again asking me to collect her, I will simply be reminding you of my decision. I would appreciate it if you did not delay her departure, as it is preferable for her to be walking home at the normal time and not later in the evening."

There will likely be a couple of stand offs- just firmly polite over the phone - I'm not sure why we're having this conversation again, she's to walk home. If they're so aggrieved they'll make a safeguarding report but that wouldn't come to anything if it's as you've described.

Yes, children's mental health issues are definitely caused by being walked home by their parents after the age of 10.

It's not outside the realm of possibility that an escaped elephant will flatten her. But neither of those things are rational concerns.

This is what I think as well. If they will allow to walk others will might want to do the same. Lost revenue!!!

We had something like this with reception. They had a system where the children were brought out and handed off to parents, but it didn’t work for our dd because of motor difficulties. We needed to get her at a different door. She could have easily come out that door with the one year older students, but that was against policy, so we had to arrive early, get buzzed into the building, and meet her in the office and walk out the door with her. It was silly and meant I had to adjust my workday by about 15 minutes, but I just did it because there was no point in fighting the school over this.

There will be much bigger and more important battles to fight. If you fight them on the small things, they won’t take you seriously on the big ones.