Straightening my 6 year olds hair

[Flamingopinkwings]

Is it weird?

Dd has beautiful, naturally curly hair, long hair. We always tell her how gorgeous it is, but she often says she’d like to have straight hair and has asked if I could straighten it just for her first day back at school. I don’t like the idea of doing it at this age
Would you?

3 of my daughters friends have very curly hair, gorgeous, they occasionally have it straightened and have done since about age 5 (now 8)
I'll straighten my daughters for school photo's/family do's etc but that's to make it look presentable or else she might have sticky out bits

You're her parent, it's up to you to decide. Will straightening it make it easier to tie up for school?

No I wouldn't. She'll be heading for a lifetime of faffing about with herself, she's only 6.

Do you/her know how to take care of her curly/wavy hair? Silk pillowcase, using products to add moisture, etc? Curl creme or mousse?

I think there's probably a good middle ground in allowing her to have hair straightened for a change and in the interests of fashion/style. if she is coming at it from the view of "only straight hair like my friends is good" then I wouldn't allow her to straighten it imo, as it would feel too much like encouraging a self esteem issue.

Also learning some new styles for her curly hair. Space buns, new clips, plaits to make it even curlier, updoes and so on. Or maybe heatless styles like rollers, pins for a blow dried kind of look. So it's more balanced and fun

She's 6 years old! She should not be concerned with her appearance at this age.

No I wouldn't. Once you start it will probably become an expectation and it's really damaging to the hair. She's 6, I'd focus on letting her know how lovely her natural features are and that she doesn't need to change anything about herself.

If she wants it, yes. When my DD was little she had ringlets, which made her hair hit at her shoulder. Whenever she asked me to blow it straight, it would hit at the middle of her back. She was so chuffed—“Look how long my hair is!”

No. You'll be at it forever.

Teach her to be happy with and care for her curls instead.

Also, what are you role modelling? Do you spend ages straightening your own?

I've straightened my daughter's wavy hair since she was about 4(?) Not every day, but definitely on the odd occasion.
Her hair is like mine - could probably be curly if we bothered to follow any sort of regime for it / if we blow dry it, it goes quite straight. Mostly we just plait it & carry on 🤷🏼‍♀️
I don't think straightening hair is any different to painting finger/toenails or wearing make-up/face paint, really - it can be a bit of fun to make ourselves look a bit different.

@JFDIYOLO I don’t bother with my hair usually, it’s naturally straight, she does want it longer like a mermaid she says, so it comes from there I think

Yes but as an occasional thing only. DD has hers curled- always want what you haven’t got!

Yes the odd one. Obv don't want to be doing it daily for her hair as damaging and time consuming

Dd7 has wavy /curly hair and she wanted it straightened in the summer hols so I did if on low heat and yes looked lovely and she loves it

Equally she's happy with her hair usually

And I said it was a special treat and when an adult if she wants to do daily she can

My DD is 6 and has very wild and wavy hair. I have straightened it maybe a handful of times in total for the odd special occasion, or once when she dressed up as Rapunzel and wanted her hair to look as long as possible. She's not at all wrapped up in her appearance and sees it as an occasional treat for when she wants to look "extra fancy"

Don't start it. My Dd has very curly hair and I made the mistake of straightening it when she was around the same age as your Dd, fast forward 15 years and only now her hair is in good condition because it snapped from the constant straightening. She's learned to love her curls now and her hair has never looked better. As much as your Dd might not like her curls I can guarantee she won't like the breakage even more because she'll end up with bits sticking out etc.

My dd6 has curly hair, and also likes it straight. I will only straighten it for parties and special occasions. I won't do it for school.

DD has very very curly hair. We have straightened it now and again for years. She's 9 now. We always made it clear it was an occasional thing, and also that her curly hair is lovely.

She also likes it for school sometimes as it meant she could brush it every day and keep it nice vs going frizzy and very knotty very quickly.

Please don't. I grew up hating my curly hair, and it's only very recently that I've been able to appreciate it.

Straightening your hair destroys the curls, and I genuinely had no idea how curly my hair actually is until I took the conscious decision to grow out the damaged hair and start taking care of it. She can start playing around with hairstyles when she's a teenager, but at 6 years old she should be taught as much as possible to love herself the way she is.

The fact that she's already internalised that straight hair = pretty is such a shame.

Get her a wig. She shouldn’t be straightening hair at this age

@poppymango Im not sure she’s internalised it as meaning straight hair equals pretty as we have always said how lucky she is to have gorgeous curly hair and people pay to make their hair curly etc. I think it’s just because it’s different to hers and her friend at school has straight, blond hair, we constantly reassure her how beautiful her hair is, this is why I’m very reluctant to straighten it

I’ve done it occasionally for parties. And also top tip- it’s a great way to deal with nits as it fries the little buggers and their eggs!

Might be one of those things though where if you say no she’ll build it up to be a big thing. But if you do it, she realises it’s boring sitting there for ages having her hair pulled then it’ll curl up again if it’s damp out (likely in the UK) and she’ll probably think not worth it and not ask again. DD7 hasn’t asked for about 6 months, her teen cousin offered to do it for her recently and she actually said no.

This is the whole reason I bought straighteners, bloody nits!
Although my DC have straight hair so the straighteners are mostly used to make curls...

I would do it every now and then. I wouldn't do it for special occasions or photos because that is sending out the message that her natural hair isn't good enough/isn't neat enough for special times, it's just fine for everyday.

People said that to me too. I remember sitting there feeling horrible because the grown ups were obviously trying to make me feel better about having horrible hair. When most of the people around you and most of the TV & pop stars you see have straight hair, you internalise it real fast without anyone having to say a word.

Could you blow dry it straighter using a brush and smoothing products? I think using very hot straightening irons on such young hair is a bad idea.