Straightening my 6 year olds hair

[Flamingopinkwings]

Is it weird?

Dd has beautiful, naturally curly hair, long hair. We always tell her how gorgeous it is, but she often says she’d like to have straight hair and has asked if I could straighten it just for her first day back at school. I don’t like the idea of doing it at this age
Would you?

Personally I think it's simply too young. I'd say no to a 6 year old who wanted to wear make up, too - though I appreciate that's rather more extreme! Putting some waves in with braids etc. is fine, but heat styling is quite a grown up thing to be doing. And if there's any anxiety around her natural hair texture, I don't believe this will help.

I think straightening a 6yo child's hair must be one the biggest ways to waste their time.

I'd say 'we all have different hair' and do something else.

Buy her a wig if she wants to dress up. But straightening her actual hair at only age 6? I wouldn't. It's just depressing to get into it.

Nope.
Help her to embrace her curls and find up styles that work.
Straightened hair will often end up not straight by the end of the day anyway, especially if there's been any dampness (drizzle, rain etc).

I agree with @InTheRainOnATrain

Saying no makes it a huge thing in her head. We were always super casual like, "oh, it's such a hassle and your hair's so beautiful" and if she asked again, sure. And of course, we accepted the positives - which as I said for her were about being able to keep it nice and look after it a bit better at scool.

I think the last time she straightened it was before a ballet exam months ago - simply because it's easier to do ballet buns with straight hair.

Same as that! Saying you are so lucky and that people pay to have their hair done in curls never made me feel better about it.

I would not straighten it for the first day of school though! Or any school day! Maybe a party or something one off if she wants to feel a bit "fancy"!

I would. I straighten all my DDs when they ask. It’s not often they do. One has very wirery frizzy hair that looks like a birds nest, most of the time she dosnt care but sometimes she will ask for it to be straightened or curled. Another fine greasy hair, she’s happy with a natural kink but asked for it to be straightened for the first day back to school and my just turned 7yo also has kinky hair, my nickname for her is Stig of the dump, getting a hairbrush near her head is a full on military exercise, she likes to do it herself but brushes more knots in it. Last week she asked me to straighten her hair to wear with her Repunzel dress, she loved it and wanted it for the first day of school, I agreed but come school day she couldn’t be bothered and was happy with her own attempt at a pony tail.

I always turn the temperature down on the straighteners for them.

I’d let her do this. I have wavy hair which was curly as a young child until the curls got wavy/straight hair when I was 4/5.

Now I can wash my hair and if I don’t comb it it can dry into ringlets but I don’t want to do curly girl method. Did try co washing i think once.

I worked for a year a few years back with a woman who had long curly red hair which she hated and wanted the opposite both in colour and curls. This was years ago though and keratin and other straightening methods around now I think she’s now straight. I also knew a woman who had highlights to make her red hair blonde or strawberry blonde, I forget which. She hated its colour!

@EngineEngineNumber9 I can never get it properly straight

No, she is 6

I would for a one off, just use good heat defense spray.

Mines the opposite, straight hair wanting curly but only done once in a blue moon

I wouldn't. I only did anything with my hair when I was a teenager.

No, I wouldn't.
I'd say "No, that's not something for little girls." and distract.

I think the way you talk about curly hair is really sad! All those negative descriptions. Wiry, frizzy, kinky, messy, stig of the dump, military exercise. I know it's partly in jest.

But it's useful to point out the attitudes that subconsciously can make girls hate their hair or see it as hard work and want to straighten it. It also can lead to workplaces seeing women's natural curly hair as unprofessional.

I have curly hair and spent most of the mid 2000s ironing the life out of it, I hugely regret it. Learn how to do cool things with her natural hair texture

Caveat I did have to straighten DS's fringe for a few weeks because he had an awful haircut (didn't ask for a fringe...) and it was the only way to stop it curling directly into his eye

How else would you like me to describe wrirery hair? There are no curls involved at all just outright frizz and dry wires of hair.

Stig of the dump is due to her refusing her hair to be brushed and because she insists on brushing knots into her hair. And yes it’s a military exercise to get them out. If not she’d have fine kinky hair (no curls) which she actually loves.

At no point did I criticise curly hair.

i have straight straight hair and spent much money on perms back in the 80s, 90s and 00s. These days I curl using multiple curling tools. I love curly hair, my DDs know this, I regularly give my cousins grief for straightening their lovely thick curly hair.

It's not straight. Too bad.

We play the hand we were dealt.

Don't see how it's any different from playing dress up at her age except that she can go to school with straight hair.

Use a good heat defense spray and let her enjoy her fancy hair once in a while. It's just a different hair style.

I haven't read any of the previous posts. But as a curly-haired person I would say that, sadly, your DD knows the score: the world treats you better if you have straight hair. My DD has curly hair and when she went to secondary school, it was styled smooth. She unleashed the curls later! Curls rock!

It’s no different to a girl with straight hair putting a few curls in. My dd is the same @Flamingopinkwings she has lovely long curly hair. She asked to straighten it at a similar age for a school disco, she probably asks about 4 times a year at best. She loves her curls but loves to straighten it for a change every now and then. Shes 11 now.

Don't do it, not for school. She'll go back & loads of ppl will comment on it because it's not her usual hair. This will just cement the idea of straight hair being better cos ppl won't have bothered commenting on her natural hair before. She's far too young to start that kind of thought process & has decades of that misery in front of her.

Look at some of the pp referring to straightening her hair being 'fancy' & 'special'

I say this as someone with poker straight hair who'd adore even just a hint of a wave.

One of my 6 year old twin girls has wild, wavy hair like me and LOVES her hair, but if she asked me to straighten it to see what it looked like, I'd do it without hesitation, but as a one off or very, very occasional thing.
I don't ever straighten my hair or wear make up, but we have played around at home with glitter tattoos, some make up and nail varnish. For fun.
God, some of the hyperbolic responses on here. A child being allowed to have a different 'look' as a one off doesn't mean they'll be asking for lip fillers and botox by 9.

As a one off for a special occasion, is it any different to a child with straight hair having their hair curled? As long as you make it very clear that it's not going to be a regular thing, it's just children experimenting with different styles - as a child I used to love plaiting my hair tightly or using crimpers or bendy rollers to look different for a special occasion.

My feeling is 6 is too young. I have 2 DDs, one with curly and one with wavy hair. I was tempted to straighten their hair out of curiosity when they were younger but decided against it. Wavy DD I did for the first time aged 10 and do every so often. It straightens very quickly and easily. I would do it for school if she wanted. Curly DD is 12 and still doesn't want to. I would say mine both have quite delicate looking hair and I just felt the straightening process would be harsh and damaging on it.

I'd straighten it.

Kids have very little control and I'd consider it a nod towards her having a safe bodily autonomy decision.

She either just wants straight hair for fun or maybe she is worried. Either way, she will feel supported and if it is bothering her it gives her a safe way to get through it.

Look st it like this. If she isn't over it at 30, she never will be..and if she is, you gave her a safe space to get there in her own time.

I sometimes straighten my daughters hair after a wash and add a little hair oil so she feels pampered and gets less knots. Maybe the curls are getting tangled?

Just get used to how you are. It's lovely Don't look to other people. Respect yourself
Peer pressure is not good
I could not have a bar of it at school. Dreadful