To be annoyed with DH about all of the following:

[legacy]

1. He offered to do an online shop to arrive today, but didn't order any fruit, or anything for Sunday Lunch when we've got friends (he invited) coming over

2. He has walked past a small pile of kids' dirty clothes on the landing ALL DAY without bringing them downstairs to put in laundry room

3. He moans about the kids not being very good or enthusiastic about football/ cricket, but NEVER goes outside to play these with them.

4. He got angry with me because I wouldn't tell him what I wanted to do for my birthday (er.. I don't know, surprise me?)

5. When he does something he considers domestic chores he makes a point of telling me i.e. "I put the milk bottles out"

6)If I tell him I need his help tidying the house (before friends for Sunday lunch) his solution is to just shout at the kids for making a mess, and then blame them (not help them tidy up)

7. He keeps buying unsuitable (IMO) PG/ 12 DVDs which scare DS2 (5)

8. He reads DS2 (5) books like Harry Potter because he (DH) wants to, rather than hear DS listen to his school reading book (which NEEDS to happen, as DS is behind on reading)

9. He makes a tokenistic contribution to the household by putting a load of laundry in the machine, but NEVER takes it out, so I end up doing all the hanging, tumbling, folding etc which is the time consuming bit.

10. He always finds a job in the garden or garage which is 'urgent' at weekends, thus leaving me to entertain the kids indoors
    OR he says they can come out and play, but doesn't encourage them with anything, so they're back indoors within a few minutes.

11. He won't listen to me trying to explain nicely why all or any of these things annoy or upset me, but just gets angry and tells me to stop nagging him.

Oh, and to put it in context, we both work the same amount of hours per week, and I was under the misguided impression that we were meant to be sharing all the household responsibilities....

Perhaps I Should divorce him - it may be the only answer ?

mine does at least seven of those things....and responds to criticism by yelping in outrage 'but i did the (fill in name of small, unnecessary chore last completed in 1966)!'
if pressed to recall some kind of household activity this millennium he says that he is stressed out and knackered. whereas obviously i am just having a lovely relaxing time, what with working full time and doing everything at home, presumably.
oddly the happiest and most relaxed phase of our marriage was when i was on mat leave, and didnt really mind doing all the housework because i was at home and he was at work. now we both work ft i really bloody resent it. furiously as he denies it, i think what both my dh and quite possibly yours in their heart of hearts would like is a 1950s kind of marriage where nobody expects them to do anything outside the office....

My dh does all of the list and more which I won't list as it would depress me!!!

Part of my problem is a mil who never made him do anything at home, but the biggest problem I have is that mess round the house etc. just does not bother him. He actually doesn't care if there are dishes left unwashed or laundry left lying around or if the floors arn't mopped or vacuumed, or whatever. Whereas it drives me mad so I'll do it.

Same here shouldbe - and www I have tried leaving him with (ok just the one) child for a weekend. When I come back, child has been fed, dressed etc, but house in tip, no other jobs (e.g. washing etc) done, and he has somehow managed to wangle that ds gets invitation to friend's house for most of a day, leaving dh to pursue his own interests (as usual).

Meanwhile, having asked ds (aged 7) "Did you have a nice weekend with Daddy?" he says,"Well, I didn't see much of him, really!"

look at the one called "rubbish"

I could agree with all of these and add some but I'm going to bed!!

mine does all on the op too except he wont do an online shop because he likes to see the food before he buys it.

1. dp did the lidl shopping the other day... i wrote him a list, which he forgot so i texted it to him. he still rang me 6 times during the shop getting annoyed at me because he couldn't find things/couldn't be arsed reading the list on his phone

2. dp regularly steps over baskets of washing on the stairs

3. dp yells at the kids all day when he's about because they're bored and climbing the walls but never goes outside with them

4. if i don't buy myself a present and card he gets me nothing and makes cards at 6pm on my birthday with the kids... he's too lazy to do it the day before

5. When he does something he considers domestic chores he makes a point of telling me i.e. "I put the milk bottles out"... and expects thanks or he sulks

6)apparently i'm the only one it bothers so it's my responsibility to tidy

7. innocent on this one at least but then he's never gotton the kids a dvd so......

8. he'll only come into the room for bedtime stories under duress, usually he'll slink off to the pc and leave me to read them

9. beat this..... my dp's excuse for not doing the washing is; 'i don't understand washing machines' you can guess how often he hangs the washing up or folds!

10. his jobs to do are never even for the house, i do all diy. he fecks off to the pc or reads a book and gets cross if they go apeshit

11. He won't listen to me trying to explain nicely why all or any of these things annoy or upset me, but just gets angry and tells me to stop nagging him..... or tells me fuck you, causes a massive row and sulks for 2 days

if you need a divorce i think i need a restraining order!

My dh doesn't want to see food until it's cooked and on a plate in front of him!!!!!!!!!!!He hasn't been in a supermarket for about 2 years

legacy, you could divorce him, but who's to say the next one would be any better - the only major thing in that list i can find is not wanting to spend time with the kids, so, he lacks imagination - force the issue.
My DP doesnt know how to use the washing machine, but i dont mind, im farrr far lazier than he is.

WRT the present thing, I understand that you would like a surprise, but surely something you actually like is better? . My tip is to leave a list of things you would like, like particular purfumes/make-up/DVDs etc that you wouldn't buy for yourself and update it regularly. When he needs to buy you a present, he looks on the list - you get a surprise because you don't know which item he will get you and he gets the qudos of buying you a fantastic present!

I agree with the rest though. I 'only' work 4.5 hours a day, but have to do everything house-related. We consequently have a house that could be a lot cleaner!

Mrs Dior - that idea is ok if he can actually read the list (i.e. read properly, not just have a man-read of it).

I made a list of things I would like for Christmas, including some perfume. I received some perfume... but not the one on the list, one that had a slightly similar sounding name.

He said "Well, I thought it was the same thing "

[Hmm] Mine loves my list because it saves him hassle. But then again, he does most of your original list, so I can't praise him too much .

legacy, i do believe the no sex thing is chicken and egg.... no sex makes you angrier and more irritated with arsey / useless husbands.... sex makes you less so. give it a whirl... or is he crap at that too?

Pink Tulips, it would never occur to me to get my own card and present from dh. Why would he ever bother in the future if he knows I'm going to do it?

Hmm, seeing as this looks like a friendly place to rant can i just add that my not-so-d dp has just let me cook for my 3 dsds, washup, do washing and ironing and tidy up whole house while tinkering in the back of his van....
Never mind that I'm 40+1, knackered and with balloon feet...

Ayomi, can you not go and stay at your mum's or somewhere if he won't let you put your feet up at home? This close to delivery you need to rest. Listen to your feet.

Oh beleive me I am resting now! he's doing the 3 hr round trip taking girls home and I intend to do nothing else all day.
He'll be all attentive and make endless cuppas this evening but it doesn't exactly make up for it.
I would have left him to it, but he's so hopeless the girls suffer and I just can't watch it..

Message withdrawn

sigh
I hope being a mum will be easier. Hopefully a child might actually do what you ask? Or am I just being completely niave?

Can I have my turn now?
Lol
Most things on your list sound like dh, especially the chores around the house.

I don't do any ironing at all, (not even mine or ds) I used to Iron everything until dh kept moaning his shirts needed 'doing again' because they got creased in the wardrobe. Now he does his own ironing.
I work Sundays and often ask dh to 'put in some washing' to find it all still in the machine when I get home hours later.

But most recently for me it was dh deciding to tell me that on a day we had planned to spend together for my birthday weeks ago was now not going to happen as he 'remembered' he had arranged to go paintballing with work friends

I'm amazed your dh does the online shopping. I'd never trust DP to do it. It would be all tinned ravioli, Pringles, beer and Fruit Shoots.

Ayomi - a child will not do as you ask until several years old, and even then only if you make it clear you mean business, and if your dp backs you up.

Mumfor1 I would be severely miffed in your posish. Your dh is beginning to make mine look like a perfect peter. But only in respect of birthdays.

Lyra - and probably no toilet paper .

Ah well, I'm sure I'll have much more patience with dc at least
Have spoken to mum and she's going to pop over tomorrow and clean my house from top to bottom bless her.
Feeling a lot brighter and more determined to see dp make it up to me.

So all in all I'm probably better off staying single then? Not liking the sound of men on this thread.

Get yourself a toyboy Xenia. The pool boy, perhaps?