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DS 2, I'm really struggling with behavior

54 replies

TattooedLady32 · 04/09/2024 19:22

Cross post on this topic for traffic , advice and even a handhold really.

As the title says really. I am really really struggling with my toddler. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I just want to sit and cry all day everyday. I'm not sure what I'm doing so wrong. I'll try and explain everything as best I can but please don't come for me, I feel terrible and useless as it is.

My two year old is absolutely feral. His behaviour is terrible. He's constantly hitting, kicking, smacking, biting, scratching, pinching, headbutting. I'm covered in bruises, he's given me black eyes and cuts to my face. He's a big boy for his age and is very boisterous. It doesn't seem like he's doing this in an aggressive way but more out of frustration. He cannot talk. Hes verbal but they aren't words yet. He constantly trashed everything, breaks everything, chucks things for fun etc.

He has a lot of behaviours that I would consider odd, such as the speech delay, tio toe walking, purposefully hurting himself (headbutting walls, the floor etc) doesn't wave, doesn't point, doesn't clap. he just does not stop. I'm trying me best to discipline him but he laughs in my face and hits me if I tell him no. He does have an understanding of phrases and knows what they mean he just doesn't care. He's very particular with routine and gets upset if things change. Also, he hates other people except me so I neve get a break.

His dad is quite lazy with the parenting and doesn't do much to help me with anything really. I'm really struggling and finding myself raising my voice alot and being very shitty because I just cannot get through to DS. And I feel bad because yes he is only 2 and has a lot to learn but I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like a massive failure because I just can't do it, I feel like he's out of control. Is it unreasonable to feel like this, I'm so touched out.

OP posts:
JLT24 · 05/09/2024 08:26
  • Incapacity Benefit
  • Severe Disablement Allowance
  • Carer’s Allowance
  • Limited Capability for Work Benefit
  • contribution-based Employment and Support Allowance
You need to be claiming one of these to be eligible
Cornflakes44 · 05/09/2024 09:08

I know you say your partner is crap with childcare but that's not really acceptable. You sound burnt out and having to deal with a lot. I would tell your parent you are struggling mentally and need a break each weekend. Then go out the house for three hours. You could do something social, exercise, relax, have a drink, whatever but you need time to decompress otherwise you could really fall apart. Do you think he would do that? It might also force him to step up a bit.

Goldengirl123 · 05/09/2024 09:12

You definitely need to get him medically assessed. It really doesntvsoundvlijevyoubare doing anything wrong but I would get him checked for autism etc.

Blueybanditbingochilli · 05/09/2024 09:26

I agree OP needs HV input, some funded nursery hours to give her a break and a GP appt to get the ball rolling on assessment but why is everyone instantly jumping to ‘Benefits!! Benefits!!’

What does she need them for at this stage?

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