To try to quit mumsnet

[cosyleafcafe]

Does anyone else find this site incredibly addictive but also kind of toxic?

There's so much negativity I feel like it isn't doing my mental health any good and it also makes me really, really unproductive.

But I have tried to stop coming on here - including using a browser extension that blocks the site - and I always end up coming back.

Anyone else?

Yes, I’ve thought about leaving. I’ve also tried to leave Twitter and stop reading the daily mail/fail/heil online.
I think the majority of posters on Mumsnet genuinely want to engage in interesting discussions, but recently there have been a lot of posters who just want to derail things. Things turn nasty. The OP’s original post is ignored and it turns into an online scrap. I think the moderators should step in. Another thing. If you call out a bot or similar (political lobbying groups), Mumsnet HQ delete your post for breaking the rules, but their toxic comments or misinformation remains.

I’m on day 5 of a week long stay in hospital post spinal surgery. I brought books, games all sorts of activities to do while lying horizontal. What have I done? Spent the entire time browsing Mumsnet. You could waste your entire life on here!

I hope you're healing well!

It is addictive, but I don’t find it negative at all.

Same! If I log out I just come back as a lurker and read not logged in 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve closed my account a few times over the years (been here 15 years) but it’s actually such a helpful site for quick answers to certain predicaments when google just won’t cut it. So have inevitably always signed up again. Actually now ChatGPT is probably a good alternative now, I’ve always found it very helpful and sensible with suggestions and solutions so I might try that 😄 Mumsnet is apparently like 30% bots anyway for some reason!

I agree OP. I’ve spent far too much time here, I’d like to say « lately » but it’s not, I’ve been wasting hours here for a long time. I’ve got blockers but it hasn’t stopped me.

I’ve actually found useful advice here and learnt interesting things so it’s not been a total waste of time. I used to just spend a few minutes here and there reading interesting threads but now it’s taken over!

I first found MN when I was pregnant with DD1, she has just left for uni so maybe it’s the right time to log out.

I agree op. But I still hold out for the beautiful or hilarious or informative threads that are increasingly rare.

I once came on at the end of my tether with DSs health problem for which there was apparently nothing that could be prescribed. One poster (so wise and knowledgeable) said "don't let them fob you off, he can have omeprazole and it's licenced for children" = godsend! I just called the surgery and said I want this and they said sure. There are probably thousands of examples like this but equally some of the worst of humanity can also be referenced here.

I think a lot of the posts are incredibly toxic, lots of angry posters who are very judgemental and black and white about life. Lots of 'policing' of what someone should apparently think, feel, say, do etc.

I read it and laugh a lot to be honest.

I feel the same. I honestly don't think that constantly reading about other people's problems is doing me any good. The spiteful posts are just the topping on the misery cake some days.

I'm not throwing blame anywhere. It just doesn't seem a mentally healthy hobby for and I'm constantly amazed to find that what I thought was ten minutes on here, has become an hour.

Hotel California

I might attempt to have a day off tomorrow @cosyleafcafe . If I can go a whole day, there might be hope for my addiction.

I fell off the wagon quite recently 😂 have managed to take long breaks over the last few years but get drawn back by the drama.

What I hate most about it is that no one, no one seems to have a sense of humour or can just accept someone's descriptions or off the cuff remarks. The perpetually offended or outraged gang

So many OPs prefacing what is a chit chatty type thread with 'lighthearted' (like as if normal people cant tell) and I even saw one recently with a 'trigger warning' because OP was talking about buying something or her income or something, cant remember now and it turns out she put it on because people might be offended that she had a good income! WTF!!!

Another one I remember recently where OP had said the property market had given her PTSD, cue the offended about what suffering from PTSD is really like.....

I sit here supping a cuppa open mouthed at this sort of thing.

I always look to see how rude the first or second poster are. I think there’s some awful people just lurking on the new posts waiting to have their dig.

anyhow, it’s better than the daily papers, give an insight into life, and more interesting than DH’s terrible tv viewing schedules (yawn Vera, midsummer murders etc). The CF stories are a bit short these days, get quite excited when a good one pops up.

when I find something better to do I’ll not be on here, but until then…….

Yes this is me! Puts me in a bad mood and keep telling myself to stop. Tips welcomed for a healthier MN experience!

One solution to 'quitting' (partially) is to be banned by MN 'control'. I was banned when I named in full, the solicitors who deliberately made me suicidal (Roman Kubiak you KNOW you are guilty) and as I have an email from the Legal Ombudsman essentially telling me to kill myself (rather than pursue a case for which I have 2 large boxes of written evidence). But then life is strange!
I started on MN 7 years ago when I was researching Aspergers syndrome and found elements very helpful. NOT watching many threads is also useful and the only one I really look out is the saga of Brexit for which MN is a treasure trove of interesting thoughts and I value some 'theoretical friendships' some who live in European countries.

LTB!!

I have been using MN for about 7 years on and off - with name changes cos feel like i periodically out myself and get paranoid- and I genuinely found it fascinating for ages and liked being on a site dominated by women. I think it went mad in covid and has never quite recovered, I came off it completely then because it went wild. Sure that would make a fascinating sociological study though!

I have a 30 minute daily limit. Some days I don't even open it, others I hit my limit RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of a good thread.

May I suggest reading how to break up with your phone.

I read about cats, weight loss and food. Much more cheery!

There are a lot of helpful posters and sections on here, but I'd prefer if there was a way to block AIBU. Or just rename it Bunfights so people know what it actually is.

I’ve led a sheltered life.
I enjoy reading about others’ dilemmas. It’s a window on a world I can’t imagine.
The negativity is dreadful but I agree, it’s addictive but enlightening too.

This. ^ I hate the threads with the pile-ons - and see it often. One or two posters will start deriding and baiting the OP, and a few others follow like sheep. So unpleasant to see, derails the thread, and helps no-one.

Sometimes it's not the OP who is attacked, it can be a poster responding to the OP, and when one or two people start on them, loads more join in - like sheep with no mind of their own. Laughing at, and cheering on the witch-hunt. Sometimes they'll be still posting messages to them 2 days after the targeted poster has posted, in the hope of baiting them. I wonder what is so wrong in these peoples lives that they have to be so vile.

Most people on here are fine IMO and there can be some nice, kind, helpful responses and replies. But there are some posters that are just plain horrible. And when a pile on starts, they just can't wait to jump in on the pile on and lay into the OP (or some other poster.)

No wonder so many people start a thread with a new username. If it goes to shit, they can just hide the thread and go back to their old username (or make up a new one.)

Mumsnet can be very toxic and you have to have a very thick skin on here sometimes. I have been on message forums for 22-23 years, and these kind of goady feckers who love a good pile-on don't bother me now. They're best ignored. Don't feed them.

Addictive yes, toxic no, anxiety no.

This site is totally toxic but I actually enjoy watching all the arguing between what I assume are miserable bored people with nothing better to do than be mean to strangers online which I guess is why it's so addictive.